How can people be so ignorant??? (FIL's views on mental illness etc)

At least you are there in his life to challenge them.

I would hope he's very much in the minority with those viewpoints, he sounds like he's got a bit of a chip on his shoulder about something.

I don't know how much good it will do! After 60 yrs of holding such extreme views he's pretty sure of himself. I very much doubt I'd ever make any headway with him at all - he lives in his own little bubble, secure in the knowledge that he is right about everything!?

Gosh, he's a little ray of enlightenment! <cringe>

Out of interest, does his views seem really out of character?

My FIL surprised me recently by basically implying that depression was selfish, and something you could avoid if you just bucked up your ideas and set your mind to being Not Depressed.

I was quite shocked, given he's dealt with a parent who has had chronic and life-threatening depression for years, but I shocked him back by pointing out that my best mate is the least selfish person I know but has battled depression for years. He knows her but didn't know she was ill and I think it made him think.

He did admit that his opinion was probably old fashioned and he hadn't realised it was a chemical imbalance, maybe he'll think more...

Well I don't think he is the minority TBH.

One of the reasons my Dad died was due to hospital staff having no idea/respect etc... for people with Mental Illness & my Dad never had one - So *** knows where you would be if you did?

This worries me - that trained medical staff do label people & can't look beyond.

Gah! It annoys me..

Noone at work knows about my situation, and the other day was a classic..

One of the girls had a burn/scratch on her forearm, and looked at it, put it up into the air and went "Hey, look at me! I'm a self-destructive depressive. My life is just soooo terrible, I just slash my wrists"

I was speechless. But carried on working, while I heard the rest of the office roar with laughter and mimic people slashing their wrists

?

A young lady i support has profound learning difficulties , she has 24hr support.

I'm quite new to the job & met her father for the first time , she was displaying challenging behaviour & being very vocal, he turned to the other girl on shift with me & said "can she not get electric shocked or something" , i was speechless , he is an intelligent man , he turned to his wife , her mother , & they both laughed.

I'm quite reluctant to meet with them again but i have to take her there , most of the times it's obvious they don't want her there.

My boss and I (entirely independently, as it turned out) have a policy of removing all references to schizophrenia from copy we edit unless it's medically informed.

Having been a near neighbour of a genuine schizophrenic, I've always thought that the use of the term as shorthand for a split personality has gone well beyond lazy cliché to become actively offensive.

There really are some narrow-minded people, whose opinions are very outdated.

I am glad they appear to be in the minority, but sorry that one of them is your FIL.

Before I suffered from depression I must admit I saw it as a bit of a soft option, and something that only happened to 'flaky' people. I think that was a lesson in life for me to learn that it can happen to anyone. Me included. Along with the Anti-depressants I took, there was also a large slice of humble pie. ☹️

Learning disabilities though, for me, are as normal as having a cup of tea. My Mum worked as a secretary in a residential unit for severely learning disabled adults. Every time I was on half-term, I would go to work with her, and sit in the day room and watch TV with them. Some were more severe than others, and I made friends with Louise, who used a wheelchair and was absolutely besotted with rabbits. I had a pet rabbit, and she used to come home with us for lunch sometimes so she could have rabbit cuddles. ?

Near my Mum's old house - she's moved now - if I ever see the residents I still recognise out with their carers, I will always stop and say hello to them. I got to know them, so I think it would be rude not to. This often makes the carers uneasy, but who knows. It might bring a ray of sunshine to one of those people's day.

I've got a friend who is about to qualify as a clinical psychologist. I think it's absolutely fascinating.

That's why no-one at work knows that I have an autistic child. It's not that I'm embarrassed about him or have anything to hide: I just don't want to have to field endless prurient and voyeuristic questions - and that applies especially to people trying to be "helpful".

Unless colleagues have actual practical experience of raising an autistic child (or something very similar), I doubt there's anything they can tell me that JK and I don't already know, and if you work in an organisation with several hundred people it's all too easy to get reduced to a one-line sketch. And I'd prefer being "the guy with the long commute" to "the guy with an autistic kid".

I was going to start a thread about my experience in work last night but the subject matter is close enough...

Started last night and it was initially a bit slow, was workig with a girl and her first comment to me, after half an hour or so was "It's going to be one of those nights...". We had had a few 'odd' customers.

As the night progressed it was plain that there was design involved. Yes we were getting a lot of people behiving oddly, but alway accompanied by two people who were perfectly 'normal' and friendly.

It became evident that it was a charity/trust/home... Something of that order and that rather than a social gathering as such those people with problems were being 'taught' how to use a pub/club.

No real problems at all, aside from there being far too many of them (this would be a complaint with any group totalling almost half of the capacity of the room).

It was the other customers.....

We had several party's leave and demand their money back, including one particularly large group of regulars. And many comments about the 'freak show' & requests to eject 'annoying' individuals... Went on all night.

So, on that basis there appears to be a certain lack of symapthy, if not understanding.

Oh... and the toilets explosively backed up at about 1.30. I went home.

Yeah.... lack of sympathy and understanding I think.

I work with young people with lots of different 'needs' - learning, social, behavioural, physical - the whole spectrum really.... and have to bite my tongue on so many occasions when we are on trips out etc as so many people make comments loud enough to hear but not directly at us.

Comments like 'I wouldnt have patience to work with 'people like that'', 'Oh dear, what a shame people like this exist', 'What a shame for their parents who must have so wanted a normal child'.... are not uncommon.

Thinking about your comment MrJK about not telling work about Lexi - I completely understand it, although wonder if because many people feel/do the same, people are less clued in to what some 'needs' are all about IYSWIM as they just dont have the knowledge/experience etc.

I think people sometimes believe that depression and the like are the result of laziness / not having bucked up an attitude / had a kick in the arse because that way, they can reassure themselves that it will never happen to them.

My standard response is that ignorance is the result of not reading / thinking before you open your mouth, isn't it a shame ignorant people can talk.

I don't know why, but it always shocks me when people air these sort of opinions. I have even seen some spectacularly ignorant posts about depression and in particular PND posted on this site and I know that they have really hurt people. I don't think it's the fact that people are so ill informed/judgemental that shocks me, it's the fact that they seem almost smug that they are what they think is 'normal' and have no care or thought for fellow human beings who may be living a different sort of life, or even suffering, through no fault or choice of their own.

I just think we should all be a little glad when these people reveal their prejudice and ignorance, it means we won't have to waste our time giving any thought to what they have to say in the future.

I don't think so - as many are more understanding if a person has Cancer, but may not have direct experience of it.

My Cousin at the age of 18 had a car crash , as a result is quadriplegic - he gets spoken to as though he is mentally disabled, by strangers.

Boils down to labels & what one your wearing.

Thats a good point.

My dad once said that depression was a lazy persons illness because they had too much time on their hands...

If someone said to me that people with learning difficulties shouldn't be allowed to be born, I'd probably say that I don't think igorant people should be allowed to be born, that is if I could think up the witty comeback at short notice. My dad normally has quite ignorant views of the world (think DM reader) but he has had depression, so at least he understands that, otherwise I think we would have had a falling out long ago.

My mum isn't as bad as the OPs FIL but some of her "opinions" on PND are why I never even told her I'd had it or been on ADs until I was actually lots better and off them. Someone in her work had twins a couple of months before I gave birth and she had apparently had PND after her first baby, and my mum was talking to me about her one time and had said "of course she's too busy to have PND this time, what with having twins to look after she just doesn't have the time" and lots of other choice comments about "no-one ever got PND in my day, we just all had to get on with it" etc. I remember telling my dr about why I was so reluctant to get support from my parents and telling her what my mum had said and she said "well your mum's just ignorant". But I get the impression she's not alone and a lot of people think like her.

To be fair now she knows I've had it I think she does have a bit more understanding about it, as she knows me and knows I wouldn't have been the way I was unless I was actually ill IYSWIM.