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Beginner February 2013

How do you chose bridesmaids - shortlist of 19 !!

hillbillyhogs, 13 March, 2012 at 03:30 Posted on Planning 0 19

I have 6 sisters

OH has 3 sisters

Collectively we have 6 neices (who we are close to - 2 our are godchildren)

So that is 15 close relations all that we are close to.

Plus my 4 best friends.

19 people who would be in the running to be bridesmaids.

(This is why we are ending up with a big wedding)

But how do you pick who are bridesmaid?

HELP!

19 replies

Latest activity by kharv, 13 March, 2012 at 20:50
  • Alreadymarried
    Alreadymarried ·
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    Choose the people you feel are going to support you the best, that's the most important thing. You don't want anyone unreliable. You don't have to choose family either if you don't want to, there are no rules! Plus consider your budget.

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  • sugarbox
    Beginner December 2012
    sugarbox ·
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    I think you can choose a range of bridesmaid dresses.You can find dresses online ,i think it's a good way to get dresses.I want to recomend some dresses to you ,and hope you will like them.

    http://www.mylove-dress.com/2011-aline-junior-satin-long-sash-floor-length-wholesale-bridesmaid-dress-p-3513.html

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  • L
    Beginner April 2012
    LEMBS8 ·
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    Wow - that is a challenge! Will they all be expecting to be in the bridal party? Are there any of your sisters and your OH's sisters that you are particularly close to? Could you choose one of your sisters, one of your OH's sisters, and then have your two godchildren? I'm sure everyone will understand. You could try to give those not in the official bridal party special roles - like have them do readings.

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  • 2b_MrsB
    Beginner June 2013
    2b_MrsB ·
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    Wow ! certainly don't envy you this decision ?

    I think in your position though. I'd be inclined to look towards your best friends for BMs , that way no family members will feel they have been pushed out for another, but if your godchildren that you are so close to should have their place.

    Best of luck!.

    L x

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  • Knees
    VIP August 2012
    Knees ·
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    Wow - that's difficult. I only have one sister so she was a natural choice. I have a group of 4 best friends, but I didn't want to end up with 5, so I chose the one that I'm closest to and have known the longest.

    If you're particularly close to one or two sisters over the others, go with them, but that completely depends on your family relationship. My SIL has 4 sisters and a brother. Her oldest sister is about 10 years older and is married with kids, so she doesn't spend as much time with her as she does the other 3. The other 3 were BMs.

    How old are your nieces? Could you just have them and no adult BMs? You could then give your sisters the task of helping you get ready on the day, your best friends the task of organising the hen do and OH's sisters the task of readings, helping with favours etc.

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  • Y
    Beginner April 2012
    YeahYeahYeah ·
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    I would jusy have the little ones or none at all tbh. Im not a massive fan of huge bridal parties but the kiddies would love it.

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    How many guests are you having?

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  • Jonesey
    Beginner June 2012
    Jonesey ·
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    Wow, I don't envy you having to choose. I've got 1 sister, OH has 1 sister and I've 1 best friend so they were the natural choices. If it was me and I had 6 sisters I would just have them but only you can decide.

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  • Charlie-Lou
    Beginner June 2012
    Charlie-Lou ·
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    I would just have your 6 sisters if your close to all of them.

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  • far2calm
    Beginner May 2012
    far2calm ·
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    Hard, but you have to ruthless. If I was you I would have you 4 best friends, and your 2 godchildren as flower girls/page boys.

    Your family will be understanding, plus they are part of the day just being there and being your Sister/SIL/Niece/Nephew. I have a brother and OH has a sister and we decided to have neither of them as usher or bridesmaid as they are going to be helpfull and there for us regardless if the have a specifice role.

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  • venart
    Beginner June 2013
    venart ·
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    Oh yeah, small weddings call for fewer. In my mind a good number is 1 attendant per 20 day guests. For 60 day guests? 3 BMs. 100 day guests? Max 5 BMs. Though that does seem like quite a few..

    My cousin's husband has 5 brothers and they ALL stood up with him, along with his 2 best friends. There were probably 100 day guests, and it looked ridiculous!

    I would suggest that you talk to your sisters first. I would completely discount your OH's sisters and the neices entirely, unless you want the littlest ones to be flower girls. Choose from amongst your sisters and closest friends, so alread ythe number is down to 10. Do you have one sister who is closer than the rest? Or are you not all that close with any of them? In that case I would exclude your sisters and go only for friends. If you're very close with all your sisters, I would talk to them and see if you can arrange to have half of them as BMs and the other half do readings. Then you can have your close girl friends give a funny speech together (works especially well if you're all one groupd of friends).

    Basically, I would form a hierarchy like:

    1. Your immediate family

    2. Your closest friends

    3. OH's immediate family

    4. Neices

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  • gonnaBMrsF
    Beginner October 2013
    gonnaBMrsF ·
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    You could include them in other ways, for example, those that you don't have as bridesmaids could have matching corsages. Just something extra that includes them in the theme of your wedding and sets them aside from the other guests

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  • M
    Beginner April 2026
    MrsMeldrew ·
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    Eeeek. I'd go for either a) the friends and the children or b) just all the sisters.

    Good luck!

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  • Fireflies
    Beginner June 2013
    Fireflies ·
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    View quoted message

    THIS

    If there is no easy way to choose between your sister and OH's sisters, then I would go for your 4 best friends and exclude family, as they have the important role simply by being family! Or include only the godchildren

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  • gonnaBMrsF
    Beginner October 2013
    gonnaBMrsF ·
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    I also found this which I thought was a lovely idea!

    http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2011/06/17/will-you-be-my-bridesmaid-cards/

    Lynne

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  • Kriek
    Beginner December 2012
    Kriek ·
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    Would it help if you went "traditional" and only asked unmarried people to be your BMs? My mum was one of 6 sisters so that's what she had to do.

    As for flower girls I would just choose your godchildren or have none.

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  • C
    Beginner June 2012
    Country Flower ·
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    I would just go with the nieces and one best friend. I'm not a fan of people who are mothers - ie the nieces moms being bridesmaids - don't know why, but for this reason I am hving my neices but not OH sister. However as an only child I wouldn't know how strong your bond might be. Having said that, they will still be there to share your day.

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  • H
    Beginner February 2013
    hillbillyhogs ·
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    Um - 300 (we both come from very big - because of step- families so that automatically bumps it up)

    I'm equally close to my sisters (2 are still in school)

    But no way do I want all 19.

    Maybe it should just be my best friends.

    Thanks

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    I wouldn't have all 19. I also wouldn't 'split' groups if that makes sense?

    Personally I'd scrap the oh's sisters and all the nieces. I would then go for either all the friends or all the sisters, depending on which group I was closer to, which group I think would enjoy it more and which group I think I would be able to rely on on the day etc.

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