How do you make friends as an adult?

Maybe you should focus on the counselling first, purely to get things into perspective and find out if friendships are something to work on.

I think it does you good to get a life away from work and children, I resented MrSun having a life, the only time I get off from being 'mummy' is when i'm at work. I joined a sports team and have got more of a social life, it's been great. Maybe that's something you could look into?

It wasn't a ramble at all. Post natal depression is horrid and makes it incredibly difficult, if not impossible to face a mother and toddler group. I can understand why you are in the situation you are in. Do they have meet ups over on BT? My kids are too old for me to frequent 'over there' but I bet that they do. Do any of your colleagues have young children? Perhaps suggest a weekend family meet up at the zoo or something. Hope that helps and good luck with your counselling.

The friends I have met more recently, I've met through work or evening classes. Is there anyone at work you like enough to ask for lunch or a coffee break? Start small and don't expect an instant bond. I know that when you're feeling lonely or depressed, it's easy to take things personally or feel as though you're at fault in some way if you don't feel that bond - but try to remember, everyone feels awkward sometimes and sometimes people don't click like they expect to.

I don't have much spare time, but I often find that nor does anyone else - so people take it at face value when you're too busy. I find that friends I have met have partners and we often go out/around to each others houses for dinner as a couple. Mr L. sometimes goes out with my friends OHs and my friends come over for a glass of wine or to watch a DVD. Meeting in a coffee shop for a quick catch-up is also easy enough to squeeze in.

Sorry you are feeling this way. Sounds like the friends issue is perhaps something you could address with your counsellor. Or perhaps after the counselling your confidence will be boosted and that it will see easier to make friends.

Are there any like minded potential friends at work or in a toddler group? Could you try some different toddler groups? In recent years I have made friends through work, through an internet forum (not this one!) and I've also become closer to friends of friends through mutual interests (craft).

Could you get out on a week day evening once a month to go to a book group / craft meeting / course or whatever your interest is?

Do you have any old friends that you could try to get back in touch with?

Finding new friends will take a bit of effort and resilience - you might not have those things right now what with your depression so don't be too hard on yourself.

A friend of mine made friends locally going to those playbarn kind of places and getting chatting to other mums, as well as talking outside nursery

I know when I moved to a new area, I had to just start talking to people when I went to places like Weightwatchers or the leisure centre doing some classes. x x

I think you've had some good suggestions there. I can sympathise as if I'm in a confident mood I can start talking to anyone but when I'm feeling low I find it so hard to get out and be motivated. I hope your counselling appointment comes through soon.

Thank you for all your replies.

I have a lot to think about and some really good suggestions on there. I know that I need to work on my confidence because I think I can probably come across quite miserable to people who don't know me. I have very low self confidence and this make me very shy until I get to know people.

I will venture over to BT at some point and see if there is anything going on in my area. I will also have a look on net mums too. I worry about my Sons birthday parties and him not having any friends to invite. I know he has friends at nursery but because I just drop him off and leave I don't get to see any other parents, I guess because everyone is busy getting the children dropped off so that they can get to work, we are all in the same position.

Thanks again for the replies. X

Where abouts in the country are you?

I have this same issue. I work full time and silly hours so don't always get to drop my daughter at the school gates so find it difficult when all the mums have already built friendships. I've also moved to a new area so lost all of my friends I made from the mum and baby group. It's difficult to talk at work so can't build up friendships very easily there. My partner also works shifts and doesn't know until the day what he is working so it's hard to plan. I was dumped on from a very great height by my so called 'best friend' of 10 years so find it very difficult to build friendships that involve trust. Rock and a hard place. Where are you?

Sorry, I have only just seen the last 2 replies.

I am in Hampshire, right on the south coast between Portsmouth and Southampton.

Thanks. x