How do you stop work getting to you?

You can’t ‘make’ yourself be any different than you are. And to be fair, I don’t blame you for feeling this way! I’ve been in the same situation…and still am really. Have you tried talking to anyone about getting some training? Or maybe shadowing the people that do know for a day? I realise if you’ve been there for a while this might be admitting that you haven’t known something for ages and have been winging it (again, been there! ?) but it will make you feel better and more confident in the long run.

Tips from an ex-IT Helpdesker:

1. 99% of the time, you will know more than the person asking for help, anyway.
2. If it's already broken, how much worse are you going to make it if you try to fix it? Answer - probably not much.
3. If everything's stored in people's heads, start documenting everything you can - get them to tell you stuff, and build up a library of useful info.
4. If you really can't get training at work, look into doing something outside of it.
5. If the above don't work, look for a new job.

Are you in direct support or on the 'phone?

Thank you both.

I work part time, which isnt helping matters, but I dont want to admit that incase it ruins it for others in the company applying for flexible working.

I think this problem is specific to the team I am in, we dont do helpdesk support, we do, well, I dont know, anything any other developers dont understand or problems they are having, then we have to fix it. So, it is actually people who know their stuff expecting support from you, in areas that we dont do development work,and unless you were there from day dot then you have no way of knowing.

I have notes, I take them everytime I ask someone something. But different people have different views.

Gah, maybe a new job is the only way. ?

It is support via email usually, or checking to make sure things are up and running.

It is a massive company, with about 8 different systems, and we sort of integrate the lot. Which would be fine if you actually knew how one of the systems worked, as the rest are based on it, but noone will give any training, and there is no documentation. A lot of the problems you may only ever see once a year or even less, and unless you are a manager, have no idea of the underlying problem.

I think I just need to stop worrying about it, try my best and try and not give two hoots about it all.

I really understand your position. I am currently seconded onto a project, developing a new IT system. However, my substansive post is in systems support for a big Local Authority. In that role I support more systems then I can count. I am expected to know not just every intricacy of each system, but also every business process that goes along with each. It can absolutely crack you up if you do not accept that you are human and cannot know everything. If you suffer from low self esteem (like a lot of people, I do) then this sort of role can be crushing because everyone who contacts you expects you to either know what the problem is, or find it and fix it quickly. And if you don't people are so quick to judge or say that you 'don't know what you are talking about'.

You mentioned training, sometimes that is helpful, but for a lot of the problems we experience it isn't. Most system specific training programs wouldn't cover a lot of what I need to fix. The two courses that helped me the most were probably for PL and ORACLE SQL. They enabled me to apply basic problem solving skills to a multitude of our systems. They are transferable too. With a book I was able to convery what I learnt in those courses to INFORMIX as well. I am now working on Progress which I have no training on, but once you have basic knowledge of boolean logic you can pick most of it up.

My advice? Accept that no one knows everything. If you feel slightly judged by someone you are helping, explain that you deal with lots of systems besides theirs and therefore need a little time to figure your way around their problem. Try not to give out estimations of time unless you have a very fixed idea of what the problem is and how to solve it. Encourage your team (maybe they already do) to build up a good knowledge base, even if it only starts on an excel spreadsheets with hyperlinks to word docs containing more detailed explanations. And finally if you haven't been on a course for at least one of the platforms that the systems you are supporting runs on then hassle your manager to get on one. Oh and one more finally ? accept that you are paid to work part time and don't try and cram full time hours into your part time calender. I'd really like to take my own adivce on that last one in particular.

Sorry if that was a bit garbled, I have typed as I thought without any real editing, but I HTH.

Missus Jolly, thank you for sharing that. Sounds like we are both in the same boat! I have had PL/SQl training in the past, and Unix scripting (neither within this job), and I am earmarked for a course here, but it is more the amount of systems, and all the business processes etc, as you quite rightly way.

I just feel I am rubbish at everything these days, maybe it is low self esteem. I would love to move into a different area of work, but I now think I would be rubbish at that too.

To think 4 years ago I was in a job I loved, and only left as my now husband and I worked in the same place, there were redundancies and we decided that too many eggs in the one basket. So, the decision was made by us both for me to take voluntary redundancy (my boss didnt want me to go), my now husband to concentrate on his career to get where he wanted to go (he is now there) and for the redundany money I got to be put aside for me to retrain after we had a family. Which was all fine and well, except my H was hiding tens of thousands of pounds of debt from me, which I found out by chance when our wee one was 11 weeks old. So, the plans for me giving up work after mat leave went out the window. Which is maybe another reason I dislike here, because in my mind I was never meant to be coming back to the stress ?

Sorry, that was also a garble. I just feel so mixed up about everything at the moment that I cant think clearly

Oh Smiley that is difficult. I can understand why you are not feeling so great. And I do think that this line of work would test anybodys self esteem. It is a very competitive environment and you are constantly judged when you don't produce the goods instantly. Well that is true for me anyway. I am sure that you are not rubbish at everything. You certainly wouldn't have the job in the first place

My long term plan is to retrain, I have been studying for an OU degree, but ill health and stress have got the better of me this year, so I have had to defer my next module until September. I am worried that I won't be able to pick it up again, but that is another story. I never wanted to work in IT. I fell into it and they just kept paying me enough.

When I have a good day at work, you know those days when everything you touch almost turns to gold? you fix loads of stuff in five seconds flat? on those days my job doesn't seem so bad. It is on the ones when you spend a day battling with a problem that should have been a quick fix and you have loads of other priority stuff overdue that I loathe it.

I also hear you on the changing job front. Before I had kids I had quite a good career going in a place that I loved. After my daughter was born I needed to work nearer to home because of some difficulties that she has. I took a drop in grade and my salary is still not at the rate it was pro rata 10 years ago. My boss has never said as much, but I know that there is no way on earth that she would consider me for a managerial post because I'm a 'part-timer'.

Missus Jolly, thank you so much for sharing that. What are you retraining as if you dont mind me asking? I want to retrain in teaching, but as I am in Scotland I cant do the OU courses, and I cant afford not to work at all.

It really is getting me down. Stupidly I actually did a degree in Computer Information Systems, which covered pretty much everything it could, including business. By by 3rd year I knew it wasnt for me, but I was too scared to change degree (I was on my placement at IBM when I went on a partnership and leadership course and learned so much about myself, and was told to rethink my career as I was good with people). Anyway, I fell from one job to another, hoping I would find one I truly loved. My last one I did as much as you can love an IT job, but I never truly felt comfortable.

Maybe I should just go for it, accept I am going to be mega skint for years. We only have 1 child, I would love another, but at 38 I need to decide career against another child. Or maybe another child and then retrain, hard as it would be.

I am working through the Build your own Rainbow book in the hope I can get an answer, and also getting councelling to try and help me accept what my husband did ( I am still with him, but the trust is gone and with every day I hate work I resent him more and more).

Woe is me ?

Hello Smiley, I'm sorry to hear your woes. I can't give any better advice than you've been given, but I just wanted to say that if you're serious about teacher training, then make sure you do your research! H qualified last summer and didn't get a teaching post. Only 38% of graduates in **** got a permanent full time position. 3.5% got a permanent part time position. The results for this year's survey aren't out yet but you can find out more at https://www.tes.com/ Sorry, I don't mean to be all negative about something that might be your dream, but I know a lot of people who have gone into the training not realising just how dire the job situation is!

I can well understand the trust issues after something like that. In terms of councelling for that perhaps relate is a good place to look. They aren't just for people who are splitting up. Maybe he needs to explain why he couldn't tell you beforehand. It is a difficult one.

My degree should be in English Language and Literature. Probably a bad choice as I have no idea of what I will do with it. With hindsight a more career focused or vocational degree would have made sense. Unfortunately, at the time the only career that I had any interest in was law. One of my close friends is a SAHM who was a lawyer. She really encouraged me, but ironically it was watching her give up law, simply because it didn't mix with family life, that turned me away from it. In any case, I would be unlikely to change career at the moment simply because I am in a nearly recession proof job. It makes very bad financial sense for me to move at the moment. The trapped feeling isn't nice but I think that I need to be more grateful.

Hi decibelle. I have looked into it, and you are completely correct, there is nothing out there, but some of the things I was interested in was office based but you need an SVQ at least, so thought this was a better way of doing things, so actually making use of my degree.

MJ, I feel the same. My job is in somewhere that is relatively safe, but then, if it is destroying me is it worth that?