How do you word it on invites?

If parents wish to bring their children (and you have indicated that it's alright with you), they will. If wish to have a "night off", and they can arrange appropriate childcare, they will leave their children behind. I'm not sure a parent would feel obliged to bring their children to a wedding, even if they are named on an invitation.

I don't really see how you can word "Please feel free not to bring your children" without a parent thinking "Well, durr"?!?

How about something like "Please indicate if your children will be joining you"?

This is what I was after. I just feel if it was just a "yes we can make it box" they might tick it but not bring the kids and not tell us and then we've ordered the kids meal for them

Funny you should mention this as we had a friend tell us 2 days (!!!) before our wedding that they weren't bringing their daughter. By which time I'd already ordered the food and made the table plan.

I thought it would be pretty obvious to tell the bride and groom if you weren't bringing your child(ren) but apparently not.

If the guests are having to RSVP with their menu choices, then that will be enough to tell you whether they're bringing the children wont it?

For the families that we are inviting their children to come also we are writing the invitation to include the children's name. on the rsvp section we have put attending tick box / not attending tick box / number of guests attending box for them to complete then underneath vegetarian meal required tick box dietary requirements tick box child's meal required tick box.

we have some friends who we aren't inviting them, we are assuming (may turn horribly wrong) that if we write who the invitation is for and also for them to confirm number of guests attending they will get the hint that they're kids aren't attending. also if we have only noted 2 names on the invite and they write 4 guests on rsvp then we will have the subtle conversation that the invite was only for them two. x

"Children welcome but if you fancy a night off/are getting a babysitter please let us know so that we don't overcater." That's rubbish because I'm half asleep and ill but I'd go with something like that.

On the rsvp have a separate tick box for each guest. This will also help eliminate the risk of people adding uninvited guests to the rsvp!!