How does this sound? - ***Updated***

Aww that sound just fine, Im sure your family will totally understand. Also there is nothing stopping you meeting up with them for a meal to celebrate if they comt to visit in the near future.

xx

Are you sure none of them will have made travel arrangements/accomodation already?

Personally, I wouldn't send a letter but call them instead. Don't get dragged in to the rights and wrongs of what's gone on with your dad though, just say it's still raw and you don't want to talk about it.

Thanks SK, I have actually rang them the night after it happened. Just telling them there had been a disgreement over the arrangements for the wedding. That we would have to re-access the wedding arrangements, and I would let them know as soon as I knew. So this is proberly what they are excepting if that makes sense a letter or new invitation. We had been trying to tie my anut down to her arrangements from austrialia but she would not commit so we could organise accomodation for her and my uncle. It was fustrating we had to chase her when she had made plans well in advance to all my cousins weddings and attended them all! Makes me wonder now if they all knew something would happen.

I just feel once I have done this, I can finally start to plan and enjoy again. I certainly am feeling better about things, and everyone has said how much more relaxed I am.

x

IMHO

I'd drop the bit about the registrar and honeymoon and add something about how much you are regreting not being able to have them with you on the day.

Who is Holly and would they all be so interested in her???

Make it about them and not you and the honeymoon cost.

I agree with Karolina, if you are going to send a letter drop the registrar, HM and dog stuff. The first two just make the guests you are cancelling on a really low priority.

I agree about dropping the first bit. I would also say that you would love to invite them to the evening bit but appreciate that it's probably too far to travel.

Hiya, Dear (this is a bit more polite than a casual hiya IMO)

I hope this finds you both well. I am writing to let you know that due to a change in circumstances, we have had to make changes to our wedding day. This has resulted in us making the decision to downsize our day and have fewer guests attending. Disappointing as this is, we hope that you understand and we apologise in advance for any inconvenience this may have caused.

We hope it is not too long before we are able to see one another again, perhaps find a moment to celebrate in some other way.

Kind Regards,

If that helps, Fiona xx

IMHO I would phone them to explain the situation, you never know, they might be happy enough to come to the evening reception as they could be making a holiday out of their stay anyway.

tee hee has it spot on, straight to the point.

I agree with missing the bit about the Honeymoon, as it may sour even more, any bitterness they feel for being "un-invited". Like SK said, what happens if they've made travel and accommodation arrangements already? Is there no way that they can still be invited, if even to the evening do?

Maybe you should suggest that they all come round for a BBQ after the honeymoon, to celebrate with you?

Thanks Ladies,

For your advice, as always. Sadly this is a reply of my dad's brother:

IMHO this does sound as if it will get out of control as too many people will probably start to get involved.

You should sort this out with your dad yourself before, as you uncle says, it's too late and you are left with regrets.

I do appreciate that things can be difficult when trying to deal with your dad but it might help being totally open with each other and explain why you both feel the way you do.

Whatever happens I wish all of you the best of luck ?

Sorry if i am getting you mixed up with someone else but is this something to do with your Mum coming with her new partner? Or someone being there that he doesn't like?

Ummm, you need to sort this out immediately.

I have no knowledge of your "situation", so feel it would be unfair to comment other than to say that you HAVE to speak to your Father. The last thing you want before you wedding is a massive family bust-up and by the sounds of it, unless you speak to your Father, so it is all out in the open, people in your family will just gossip about it all.

Actually, I wouldn't reply to him, particularly all guns blazing. I would leave it and just now sort it out with your dad. Good luck.

I really don't think you should. What are you hoping to achieve exactly?

If you speak to anyone it should be your dad. FWIW I think your uncle makes some valid points, especially his last paragraph.

I completely agree, this is between you and your Father, no one else needs to be involved.

Fiona, i hope what i am about to say doesn't offend you. i am quite conscious that we only know a tiny part of the story here.

you post on here asking us if the emails/letters you send about this issue are ok. many of us have in the past suggested changes to emails or letters, or advice saying not to send it, saying that a call might be better. but you either send them in the original format anyway, or are posting what you have said in retrospect.

we want to help you try and resolve this issue. nona gave a really concise email you could have sent, or sarah-key suggested that you call instead of emailing. but by the reply that your uncle has sent makes me think you sent the original email anyway, so i'm sorry, but there's no wonder he was affronted. although you didn't mean it, you saying 'everything else is fine' does sound a bit throwaway.

i know we only know a tiny bit of the story here. and we want to help you work through this. but its so much harder when sometimes excellent advice is ignored.

as i say, i really hope this doesn't offend. i know you are your own woman (as we all are) and will do what you think is best. this must be a hugely stressful time for you, and all we are trying to do is help as best we can through it.

ETA - i rewrote this post about 3 or 4 times, and really weighed up whether to post or not. i really don't want anyone to think that this is just a throwaway/ranty post from me, cos it's not.

Thank you, No I have not ignored your advice I take it all in that is why I ask. On your support it is really appreciated. I had actually sent the reply prior to getting so many replies I went of the 1st few and it went quite and down a few pages on the forum. I proberley could have worded it better I agree and Nona's was good. I just wanted to do general chatter that was all. I should have proberley waited but I wanted it sent and done to be fair.

I have done a reply it is not ranting, I have acutally picked up his points and answered them very fairly. I am going to speak to my dad very soon. As some one said there are issues here which are being manipilated (sorry on the spelling) and gossip starts etc. My family on my dad's side are seeing a bad image of me and my h2b. I do not know what my dad is saying but it has to be sorted sooner rather later.

I have taken your advice ladies and have not got my dad a fathers day card. So I promise I do listen

x

I completely agree with you BW.

I never understand it when people ask for advice but don't use it or make a more informed choice because of it.

When were you given that advice?! I can't imagine anyone on here would suggest you do that!

How about...

Dear...

I hope this letter finds you well and enjoying some seasonal weather! I am writing to let you know that due to unforseen circumstances **** and I need to alter our wedding arrangements. Unfortunately this has meant that we may only have a small number of guests at the wedding. **** and I are deeply regretful that we are no longer able to invite you to enjoy our special day with us and hope that this change has not inconvenienced you too much.

Please accept our sincerest apologies for this change, and we look forward to hearing from you soon,

With best wishes,

Classic example of someone not reading the whole thread ?