How far would you go to ensure your OH is happy

Hmm, I am definitely more hesitant than most people on this thread.

Like Knownowt says, whilst I do of course want him to be happy, it can't be at the expense of my own happiness.

It would make me very unhappy to a. live somewhere really crap and more importantly b. move away from my friends and my sisters, so if he proposed moving from London to small dull charmless East Midlands market town* like he did 3 years ago I would be looking to find a compromise, at least.

*I did write the name of the town here originally but then thought better of it. ?

I would definitely move for my OH's work - in fact, we moved to this area 2 years ago because of his work (although we weren't overly attached to where we lived before). I know he'd be willing to move for me as well - we have thought about moving again to be nearer my job (I currently have 1.5 hour commute whereas he has 20 mins) but in the end we have decided not to because we have built a life round here now and we're happy.

My OH was really unhappy in his job recently and I hated seeing him so miserable, so I would have done anything I could to make him happy. Fortunately things have improved since we went on holiday and he's sticking with it for now. However, if he wanted to move job I'd be willing to move for him, but I'd hope that he had really thought everything through - both regarding the job and other issues e.g. leaving behind friends and connections we've built up in our local area since moving here.

Yep I would and have - just moved to the middle east for my H's work. But it was a joint decision - he hated his work and I hated mine too - so in some respect I didn't feel like I was giving up too much. I think as long as you feel you won't resent him it can work - good luck x

Oh! more replies, thanks for the insight everyone, its interesting to see how everyone else thinks.

Ive managed to get the current story in full out of him and I was right there was more to it that first thought. The manager he has at the moment basically isnt bothered about him, (he is due to move posts very soon to work with a different manager on different work) anyway, current manager has her favourites and makes it blatantly obvious (Mr WT isnt one of them). In fact she has just informed him that she wants to put him on a written discplinary for a minor mistake that Mr WT did that she should have checked out before it was finalised.

Mr WT tried to rectify the problem but couldnt while he was at another site. He is willing to hold his hands up at the mistake which was easy to make and as mentioned before, minor. Nothing that should warrant disciplinary action. Other people in the dept have done a lot worse before and nothing has been said let alone any action taken.

Mr WT is asking for a union rep to go with him to the HR meeting to discuss things.

His soon to be manager seems to be much more on Mr WTs wavelength and they would just be a team of two. Mr WT worked with him today and felt very positive about the workng relationship, which is great. However he really cant see himself staying there long term. A bundle of people that started there around the same time as Mr WT have all left, 3 leaving on a bad note because of his current manager (which says a lot about her working practices)

So, now I know. We have talked some more over dinner tonight and have decided that a move to Newport (or surroundng areas) would be advantageous for both of us. Im more than happy to move as it wll mean less of a commute and neither of us have any ties to the village we live in at the moment as we dont hail from the place. A move would help Mr WT in the job hunting as and when that will happen and will also make me happier, knowing he is happier and I dont have so far to drive to work from.

Seems like it would please both of us, so its something we are serously considering now.

Thanks again everyone for your input. x

I'm another who wouldn't hesitate to move but I would ensure that we were both happy with the why's and wherefores. In later years once A is at school it wouldn't be quite so straightforward I suspect so it had better be soon!

Hi

We moved 100 miles north because of my H's job. It was a huge decision to make, I had to transfer at work, find a new nursery for my son, sell the house and buy a house - but we did it in the space of 4 months. We moved in July. We were lucky to sell up before the slump really hit. A downside was the cost of living is more expensive for us (but wages reflect that so we are better off financially at the mo) and we are 100 miles away from any family (and babysitters!) However, the job opportunity was too good to turn down for H and we felt we were young enough to relocate, my son was of an age where moving wouldnt upset him too much (hes only 3) and the area we were moving too had much more opportunites for my son - better schooling, more activities to get involved in etc

So far, for us, its been a positive move. H is far happier in his new job, however my job is pants lol

I don't know tbh.

If it was still going to be near enough my family and friends then possibly.

If not, then I don't think so.

But we have 1 almost 2 children to think of too and their happiness and wellbeing, not just each other and I feel very strongly I want them brought up near grandparents/aunts and uncles etc to build those relationships. Other than my gran we weren't close to any of our family as they lived so far away and I don't want that for my children.

Obviously if it was a necessity ie he lost his job and could only get one miles away, I'd have to go for it then.

I would do exactly what you are doing, at the end of the day you are a partnership.

I would most definately put myself out so that H would be happy. I love my job so as long as it didn't mean that i was too far out of commuting distance for my job i would move areas so that he could get a job that he felt better in.