how fars too far?

Wow!

Are you really going to pay for 80 folk to stay in a hotel for the night, and feed them? Crikey! Want to pay for my wedding??

You would pay for a hotel for all of your guests for the night? That is very generous!

My venue is in the town where I grew up ... but it is 4 hours drive from the town where I live now (and have lived for the past 8 years). This means that my old friends will mostly be fairly local to the venue (though many have since moved away like me), but my more recent friends who live near to me will have a big journey. Basically half of our guests were going to have to make a journey whichever way we did it! People are usually prepared to travel for a wedding (and pay for a nights accommodation) if they are close friends ... but do consider that transport and accommodation costs may put a few people off.

I would usually actually book two nights accommodation if attending a wedding any distance away - one for the night before so that you can get up, have a leisurely morning, and have somewhere nice to get ready (rather than spending hours in the car in your wedding outfit! or changing in a carpark!) - and another for the night of the wedding so that you can enjoy the evening reception.

The other thing to consider when choosing a venue several hours from where you live is local suppliers - you will have to find caterers, entertainment, hairdressers, florists, transport etc without personal knowledge/local reccomendations - though the venue may be able to arrange many of these things for you (and probably insist on their own caterers anyway).

Really does depend, how close to the guests are you? will they be there for the whole day? do any of them have children and if so are you wishing to invite the children as well? because i think that because alot of people with children would find this a long way to go if they cannot bring them with them. also how many nights would you pay for the hotel for? because perosonaaly if i was a guest i wouldnt want to travel all that way on the day of the wedding by the time i got there i would be to tired to enjoy it. sorry to bombar you this just popped into m,y head as soon as i read it.

personally i think you may be better looking for somewhere a bit closer to home, im in essex as well so may be able to recommend somewhere to you as i have seen a lot of venues. whats your budget roughly?

anyways welcome to hitched there will be loads of others along shortly to give there opinion. you will soon be addicted.

congrats on the engagement x

It probably wouldn't be a problem for me if I was family/close friend, so I can't see many objections to it if your paying! You would just need to make sure you were starting a bit later in the day e.g. 3pm rather than 12pm - you don't want to have completely exhausted guests! Go & see the venue & make sure you love it as much as you think you do though & then think about all the rest afterwards. The venue I thought I was going to love the most is now the one I hate the most!x

HTH!

Thank you so much, i didnt think anyone would reply so quickly.

most people invited are family. and there are 10-12 kids, to be honest i dont really want there kids there but i couldnt ask them not to come, especially if im going to be so far.

id only pay for the night after the wedding, i have a 12000 budget for the whole wedding and i dont want to go over!

i cant ask guests to come for just the evening if its going to be so far either.

i just saw this big house and it was perfect. however im stil open to suggestions.

I dont mean to be rude but 12000 isnt alot if you have to pay for all the hotel rooms as well as feeding everybody and having the wedding. mies coming to ten grand and im not paying for anybodies accommadation except my own. i would ring the venue and see if they can give you a rough idea of prices to see if it would be within your budget. also you need to consider do all of the guests drive ? or have a way of getting there? have you looked at any venues in essex at all?

Have you looked at Hitched's budget planner? It's amazing how things add up. I don't know the details of your venue but, say you needed only forty rooms (I imagine most of your guests will be couples) at £100 a night that's £4,000 already. Our food and drink and venue hire is costing us £5,500. Then you've still got entertainment, cars, your dress, bridesmaids and ushers, best man and grooms clothes, photographer (roughly £1,000), stationery, a cake and flowers.

You don't NEED all these thigs of course but I'd say paying for your guests accomodation is a massive cost that you wouldn't incur if you married closer to home.

I went to a wedding at de Rougemont Manor near Brentwood which was fantastic. Have you considered there?

What do u think is a good budget? i dnt have to pay for my dress or his suit, or the rings.

but i dont have any help planning, ive dont no whats a good price for anything or what i need to buy.

i figured with that 12000 i could get reception, church, food, drink and flowers. there cant be much more . . . . . . can there?

plus the venue is 5000 with 25 rooms included. i feel so clueless☹️

And no, i havent activly looked anywhere yet, just the net, im going to start really looking soon, do u have any suggestions in essex

Hey, I'm pretty clueless too as I've never done this before ?

If £12,000 is your personal budget and others are contributing extra then yes, you maybe could pay for accomodation. Especially if 25 rooms are included, that's a good price! I'm still not sure that it's necessary though and I wouldn't go gettting yourself into debt if it's not essential.

As I mentioned before the Hitched budget planner is a good starting point. You can tweak it and delete anything you won't be having. It includes everything from the engagement ring through to the honeymoon.

You'll get tonnes of advice on here, there are quite a few wives out there that can let you know what it's like 'on the other side' too ?

Just ask away, we'll be happy to help!

12000 is a good budget, you just might be stretching it if you have to spend alot on hotel rooms.the other things you will need to pay for are :

photography(can vary between 800-1500 depending on what you want)

flowers. buttonwholes your bouquet bridesmaids and any arrangements you want to decorate venue or tables

food and reception drinks. its upto you weather or not you have a free bar in the evening

transport(although depends where you get married, but if you want a church you would need yo get there to the venue)

dj/entertainment

church fees, these can be between 500-800 for the service from what i have seen

invites

cake

attendants dresses/suits.

favours -although not necessary some people like to have them

with regards to the venue price, do you get any food or drink in with that 5000? because thats where the majority of the money usually goes. or is that just for hire and those rooms? if it doesnt maybe try to find out the food price per head for the meal

can we see a pic of the place so we can see why you hev fallen in love?

hth x

Lol my first time too

i didnt think about the cost like that. ill look at other places near home too. and im going to look at the budget planner.

thank u all ?

This does seem quite good, but I doubt it includes food/drink and all the things that come with a wedding like DJ's (about £300-400) and cake knives.

Also photographer will probably be about £1k

Church wedding starts at £300

Flowers £150 plus depending on what you want

Bridesmaid outfits

Hair & Make up

Wedding cake - couple of hundred

favours

Transport from the venue (if that's where you're staying) to the church to the venue

Shooooeeesss

Another thing to think about is that people will still need to travel the night before to make sure they're on time etc. That could be quite costly for some people.

Hi,

Is the house in Somerset Bindon?

I would travel for the whole thing, presumably you're not planning on a service where you live? And lots of people have friends all over the place so travelling for weddings isn't unusual. I've been to a couple that were several hours away and I've never expected to have my accommodation paid for me. I know H and I are going to be invited to an evening do only (only 20 people going to ceremony) that's 5 1/2 - 6 hours for us, 3 hours for the rest of the guests, we would go to this for these particular friends and wouldn't expect them to pay for our accommodation, wherever it was! (as it happens, we're probably going to turn it down as our baby is due 3 weeks later and it's a long drive - I'm already uncomfortable in the car. But that's beside the point).

Others have made great points re cost of accommodation, local suppliers - you would also have to travel there for venue meetings, seeing photographers, caterers etc before the wedding. I found it a bit of a struggle organising a wedding from 2 hours away, and we could stay with my parents while we were there, but trying to fit in supppliers on weekends wasn't easy and it was tiring racing to all the appointments.

Finally, you should consider if there are any elderly relatives you might really want at the wedding, but not able to travel that far. I always wanted to get married in my home town, but even if I hadn't planned to, I would have done so as my grandparents wouldn't want to travel.

Venues in essex that i have seen:

orsett hall

friern manor , beautiful if only i could have afforded it

mount avenue banquetting- where im having my reception and do a really good deal

the old rectory

ye old plough house

these venues are all around the brentwood/thurrock area not sure of 1s in dagenham. i found there was a lack of wedding venues in this area to be honest. chelmsford is closer to home than somerset and on the net looks like there is some very pretty 1s there.

what is important to you with regards to the venue?

somewhere that only has 1 function a day?

somewhere with hotel rooms?

also hitched does have a venue finder at the top try there 2.

im also planning mine on my own so know how it feels and will try and help because i know it can be a bit daunting x

https://countywedding.co.uk/counties/Essex/choices/venues.htm

try this link for inspiration covers nearly all of essex.

Tbh i would keep looking for venues. there must be plenty of venues in neighbouring counties (suffolk, norfolk, kent) that are good value without needing to travel 4 hrs.

welcome to hitched btw ?

It is so daunting. i knew it was hard but i never knew it was this hard.

i like the old rectory, mr t doesnt like the friern manor and ill look at the others. i cant get a picture but its haswell house, somerset.

ive decided that if i do the whole somerset thing id let the guests pay for their hotel.

if only i could win the lottery and pay someone else to organise everything, then all id have to do is turn up, like the man does!

https://halswellpark.com/

Is this it?

Looks lovely.

It does look delightful - but you know what, I bet there's something just as good nearer to you.

Ali x

You know what i dont even think 4 hours is that far to travel anymore, so many people get married abroad and far away.

Plus i assume most people would be drinking and no matter what distance it was would more than likely stay in the hotel = in my opinion and if i were you i wouldnt bother paying for their accommodation and would spend the money on something else love!

x

Hey again

I googled Halswell and it looks like the £5k covers the hire of rooms, food would be on top...eeeek! (Unless you go for mid week when they do an all inclusive package)

I second that!

How about Hedingham Castle? That's in Essex.

https://www.hedinghamcastle.co.uk/wedding.htm

Yep thats it. and its so pretty inside. lol.

I really like hedingham castle, thanks

Hi there - just my two pence worth;

4 hours is not too bad as long as you realise that there are a lot of people who will not be able to make it. If you get married on a Saturday people would need to travel on a Friday and might not get time off work etc. I don't think you need to pay for hotels for everyone - as long as you give everyone lots of notice and perhaps even arrange preferential rates with a a few hotels local to the venue for people they should be able to pay themselves - you could make a point of them paying to come being instead of a wedding present?

We are getting married in Suffolk despite the fact that we don't actually know anyone who lives in Suffolk. We used to live in Herts and 2.5 years ago we moved to Cambs so therefore nearly everyone has to travel at least an hour to get to our venue (plus those coming from Cornwall/Manchester/Bournemouth etc). We have arranged rates with a few local hotels and are suggesting them on the info sheet. We are also arranging a coach back from the venue to the hotels after the evening. I think a lot of people will travel and stay in a hotel even if its fairly local tbh so that they can have a drink. We have done that before even when we could easily have got a cab home.

I think as long as you give people loads of notice and you realise that many people just won't be able to make it then it could work.

TBH though unless there is a specific reason for that venue I think it might be making life harder for yourself than picking a local venue. There are some lovely places in Essex you could choose...

Good luck with finding the one!

Also how about parklands, my friends getting married here and its apparently beautiful

www.hitched.co.uk/venues/venuedetail.aspx?ID=3270

Hi

I don't think 4 hours is too far to travel. I've travelled from Devon to Durham for a wedding - its all part of the fun I think as a guest.

We're getting married in Cornwall - right at the bottom near Penzance and people are (hopefully) coming from the North, Scotland (and maybe even South Korea but thats a bit random!)

I think if you give people plenty of notice, you'll be fine and your family and friends will be happy to travel. I don't think anyone would expect you to pay for their accomodation, I certainly wouldn't.

The place you've seen looks beautiful but as others have said, I bet there are some beautiful places closer to you if you're still concerned about distance.

Good luck x

We've travelled 4 hours north to a wedding, 6 hours south for another one and all the way to USA for another- if people want to see you get married, they will make the journey if they can.

For our wedding this May in Scotland, we have people travelling from all over Scotland and England, as well as Holland, Germany, Spain, Canada and Mauritius!!!xx

My guests are having to travel at least 2 hours for our wedding reception, which isn't even the wedding as we're doing that bit abroad! I don't think its too long, but have a look round at a few venues before you decide x

I'd check your budget first before saying you will pay for people to stay....to give you a good idea.......

Our wedding..........

CHurch - £600, Reception at restaurant, 65 people in day plus 60 for evening with buffet - £5000 (but could go up or down as guest list gets finalised), Photographer - £1650, DJ - £300, Flowers - £430 ish (but could go up), Dress - £700, Cake - £250

And thats just the big things. We originally wanted to spend 8 grand but all that lot comes to around that and then there are bridesmaid dresses, suits, accessories for me and bridesmaids, shoes, stationery, favours, honeymoon, first night hotel..............the list could go on.....................

Perhaps I am being very dense, but I think most people *expect* to travel to a wedding.

It's rare that a wedding is in your home town (having said that, last two weddings I went to were local - but I live in London...)

We are getting married in Wales so most people are having to stay overnight but we're having a 2pm ceremony so people can travel the same day if they want to

I would work out your budget v. carefully before offering to pay for people's accomodation....

HTH

SG

Hey carlaoj

i am just up the road form you (gidea park) so would be happy to help you out with finding a place! there are some lovely places in essex and hertford is only up the motorway too...

if you need a hand PM me and i will give you my email addy x