How have you asked for money instead of gifts?

Some of the nicest ones I've seen are along the lines of:

"Your presence will be a gift in itself, but if you would like to give us anything we would very much appreciate money towards x, y, z"

We're using that as a starting point to ask for donations to our favourite charity in place of gifts.

GO on - have a money poem, I know you want to!!

In a wedding invitation,
You usually find some lists,
For venues, menus and hotels,
And also for the gifts.

But this one is unusual,
It comes in a different way,
As we're not asking for presents,
But for something else today.

Now please don't think we're selfish,
Or that this comes from greed,
But we've lived together for a while,
So there's not that much we need.

We would appreciate help though,
To send us on our way,
And allow us to have our honeymoon,
In a land quite far away.

So now the point of all this rhyme,
The idea that popped into our brain,
Isn't towels, toasters or microwaves,
But pennies to go on a plane.

And now you know the reason,
Behind this cheeky accord,
Please help to give us memories,
Of a dream honeymoon abroad.



Our worldly possessions are plentiful as such,
On our wedding present list there really isn't much,
A gift of currency is all we ask, To help us on our lifelong task
---------------------------------

We've been together a few years now;
We have pots and pans and linen and towels;
We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
If it doesn't offend and it won't send you running;
What we would really appreciate is quite simply money
-----------------------------------------------------------

"If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day.
However, if you prefer to purchase a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own way.



For a couple of years we’ve lived in sin,
we have a toaster, a kettle and a stainless steel bin,
saucepans and towels we have many,
corkscrews and flannels we don’t need any,
we just want you with us to celebrate our day,
but if you insist on a gift anyway,
What we’d really like is a gift of money,
we hope you don’t think we’re being funny!
We’ll put it all together and buy something that’s best,
as a reminder of our day and our wonderful guests!



We know it's not traditional
It's not the way it's done
But instead of a wedding list
We'd like a bit of sun.

Please do not think of us as rude
Please do not take offence
We do not want to upset you
That's not the way it's meant.

We've lived together quite a while
And all the bills are paid
We've got our plates, our pots and pans
Our plans have all been made.

So if you'd like to give a gift
To help us celebrate
Some money for a honeymoon
We would appreciate



WE HAVEN'T GOT A WEDDING LIST
THE REASONS WE'LL EXPLAIN
IT'S TO SAVE YOU ALL THE HASSLE
AS SHOPPING IS A PAIN

WE THOUGHT WE'D ASK YOU ALL
FOR SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD
A SMALL CONTRIBUTION
FOR US TO TAKE A HOLIDAY IN THE MED

SO IF YOU'D LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE
TOWARDS OUR HONEYMOON
WE OFFER YOU OUR HEART FELT THANKS
WITH LOVE THE BRIDE AND GROOM

Take your pick ?

Mine said:

S & B have already set up home together and having you at their wedding is a gift in itself. However, should you wish to give them a present, they are requesting money towards the renovations they would like to carry to their home.

I know some people are against asking for cash/gifts but as far as I'm aware noone took offence and we got money from every single person who came, day or evening.

Zippy you little rascal!

I nearly sicked up my breckie on my keyboard

I dont want gifts becase we dont have the space and there is nothing we really NEED.

I obviously need to tell people what the money is going towards but i have no idea - we are thinking of moving so could i say give us your cash to help us move??

We've put that we're not having a wedding gift list but if guests would like to give presents that a contribution towards our honeymoon would be very much appreciated! ?

x x x

This is my neighbours (we haven't put anything in our invites and I'm regretting it now):

' We have been asked what we would like for a gift and the answer is simple; you, at our wedding.

But if you insist then we would love the most amazing honeymoon possible. We are hoping for the holiday of a lifetime and would like to see and do everything we have dreamed about. If you would like to help with this we would be truly grateful.'

They then go on to give the travel agents 'Honeymoon Pot' reference number.

You can replace the word honeymoon for house/car/hoover whatever. Wish I'd have put this for hoover, we really need a new one...

"We are hoping for the hoover of a lifetime, one that does everything we have dreamed about"

Bleurghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh some of those poems were truly terrible! I might have one of them just to make everyone queasy ha!

Hiya, I had the same worry think alot of us have. I went for something quick and straight to the point.

In our invites we have an info sheet with things like directions, local hotels and parking prices on that we have put .......

If you wish to bless our marriage with a gift, we would gratefully receive cash or travellers cheques with which will make our honeymoon the trip of a lifetime

With anticipated thanks

Hope this helps a bit babe

Evey xxxxx

Hey Shoey - are you planning on buying something specific with the cash?? If so then word it around that. I think people like to know what they're "buying" really is the main thing. If it's vouchers then you know it'll be spent in a store on something, if contributions to a honeymoon then again they know where their mney is going. If it's house refurbishment, new garden furniture, new furniture (i.e sofa, dining tables, etc) then just say that's what you want it for and contributions towards it would be gratefully received,

I hate it when people say "you don't have to buy us gifts but if you do, please buy <this specific thing" as you are actually asking for something!

We didn't mentioned gifts at all and when asked, we said "nothing - we don't want gufts, just come and enjoy the day". We did end up with a few vouchers (luckily same hop - john lewis- though we have NO idea what we're gonna do with them) however the majority of people sent cheques.

No Trickers - this is real you cheeky mare!?

I dont know what to put.

Thanks GB - were not really wanting to buy anything at all - i suppose we could use some cash to buy some new furniture for when we move so maybe ill put that.

thanks all for your input

I didnt put nuffin either and when people asked either me or the mothers they were told vouchers would be fabulous, for anywhere and everywhere, we got a large amount for a local department store right down to £20 for boots (bought a beautiful photo frame) but then we were half way through the paperwork of our new hoose.

I think it's much easeir to ask for cash if you have a plan for it. We've put our kitchen renovation on hold in order to pay for the wedding so we'll be asking for cash or vouchers towards that. We may even put out a note with the invites asking people to sponsor a door/cabinet/sink in our new kitchen - and get a little poster for the wall saying 'this kitchen was made possible by...' and and add all the names of our friends & relatives who contributed!

With most couples living together before marriage it's a lot more common for them to ask for cash towards a honeymoon, new furniture or house rennovations. As a guest I'd be inclined to be a bit more generous if there was a purpose in mind rather than 'we just want cash'.

Thought you would prefer Gold or Diamonds??

Now thats an idea!

you have better mates than us! We hardly got any evening presents - and a lot of the evening ones didn't bring cards. There were also a few people during the day who didn't give us anything *mercenaryBSB*

In answer to your question though, we just put

If you would like to get xx and xx a gift they would greatly appreciate Thomas Cook vouchers to enable them to take a belated honeymoon. These are available in store or on the Thomas Cook Website. If you wish to buy a more traditional gift they have a very small list at John Lewis – number xx which you can purchase from online or in store from the 13th June.

I didn't do all the "we're so pleased to have you" schizzle, perhaps that's the way to more gifts... ? I agree with the others though it's much easier to ask for cash if you have a purpose for it - Mr BSB's brother asked for cash with no purpose to it, and that seemed a bit off.

Bethan's wording seems nice - just change it to "for buying a new home".

I know this topic has caused much debate, with people saying they don't expect to receive gifts etc... But really??? Turning up as a day guest with nothing??? I'm sorry, but I never attend birthday parties, or any other type of party for that matter, completely empty handed. It's just not good manners (or so my mother has always taught me). I always at least show up with a bottle of wine at a party, and wouldn't dream of not buying a gift for a wedding (whether as a day or evening guest)! I'm sure some will disagree, but I just think it's so bad mannered!!!

xx

We're just doing what Geordie Barbie did - ignoring it lol We didn't write anything in our invitations and some people have asked and I've just responded with "we don't need or want anything". I figure people will then just do what they please.

You know what i totally agree.

Everyone says they dont expect a gift and do you know what your all big fat porky tellers!

As if you expect people to turn up empty handed to a wedding.

I do expect gifts/money - its what happens at weddings.

I would never dream of going to a party/wedding etc without a gift/money.

Im Shoegal and im not ashamed to say i am expecting my guests to come with a present/money! ?

But how would you even know? Would you seriously sit there with your guest list and cards/presents/money and tick off next to eack person that came to see if they gave you something?

I wouldn't have a clue!

Personally I think it is LIKELY that MOST/ALL people will turn up with a gift, I certain don't EXPECT them to do so and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if they didn't. We aren't getting married for the presents

We did that so we'd know who bought us what for the thank you list.

See I am really not expecting money or gifts..

Mainly because OHs friends and family are having to pay to travel, pay for hotels, breakfast, lunch, meals and taxis on top of the usual "wedding" expense. Which I know is already a struggle for them - his friends from home especially as he / they will be 20 and at 20 you don't tend to be massively rich.

I did say to my auntie that we were not going to have a gift list though and she said to be careful not to offend anyone by "assuming they don't have enough cash" to give to you.. She said that could be equally as bad or rude.. Not sure I agree but thought i'd share..

Jude clarke - my friend went to a wedding like this recently.

They had an electonic gift list with a DIY company and it was literally "Bag of plaster" "100 bricks" - it actually went down well from what i heard.

But i got that off the card or present? I didn't need to consult my guest list for that?

You should have a chat with my husband! How many times we had this conversation and how many times I had to listen to the rant about "why won't people just respect my decision that I don't want presents". Ra-ra-ra!

Even when we verbally stood in front of someone and said - dont get us anything, just come to our wedding, we ended up with an unbelievable amount of cash! I was gob-smacked!

Im with you here im afraid! lol

Yes, but didn't you need to make a list of them? Or did you just keep all the gift tags? When I opened the cards I put against each person's name what they'd got so when we write our TY cards we know who to thank for what.

I understand Kayl's point about travelling, and a couple of the guests who didn't buy presents had flown over especially for the wedding as they live overseas - naturally we were just pleased that they could join us, but we deliberately had it in London so it would be easy for people to get to - one of OH's friends is an architect, and would have only needed to pay about £4 to get to/from the wedding - and I think that it's rude to not get so much as a card. Ahem, rant over.

We have one member of the family who just does not do cards or pressies - ever!

No 21st / 18th etc / Xmas etc cards or pressies.

No. Everyones addresses were on a document so I looked at who sent the gift and wrote the card.

I wouldn't have a clue who didn't give me anything unless I really wanted to check. Which I don't.

Er...So you did have a list of who bought what, you just did it in a different way, and by looking at the list you'd easily see where there were any gaps. Anyway, it's his choice isn't it, it just irked me that he was the one whining about not being allowed a plus one (even though he's not seeing anyone) and "you are going to have a free bar aren't you?".

Didn't see a need for the 'Er' but each to their own.

My original point was I would have no idea who had not sent me a gift because I did not have my whole guest list in front of me with ticks next to each name to see who did and who didn't.

I just saw the gift and wrote the card. I did not need to make a list as I did it there and then.

So, no, I did not have a list of who bought what.

Reference the other stuff, I have no idea what you are on about ?

Sorry, I'm just in a foul mood because of videographer headaches - I thought all the supplier stress was supposed to end post-wedding, so sorry I misunderstood your original post.