How important is a theme and how far do you go?

We barely have a theme or a colour scheme. Like yours, our venue is gorgeous inside and I didn't want to distract from that. Everything is neutral tones: whites, creams, beige etc.

The only flowers we're having are for bouquets and button holes but again these will probably by simple whites and creams with foliage.

The only splash of a colour I can think of is the BMs are having accents of grey to match the mens suits (grey ribbons around their cream dresses and grey shoes).

With a few exceptions, unless you actually explain somewhere either in the invitations or on the day in the speeches, the majority of guests won't even notice a theme on the day - of course you've lived the theme for months thinking of every small detail and although your guests may think 'thats nice' it probably won't dawn on them that you have a vintage shabby chic tea party/village fete theme, even though you have teacups and bunting up.

Having been through the whole "will the theme work" process and come out the other side, I think we put far too much energy (and often money too) into things people probably won't even consciously notice. How many weddings have you been to in the past 5 years that you can remember much detail about?

Our theme is apples, they're featuring in the centrepieces, table plan, place settings and cake, oh and my new name! My colours are teal and fuchsia. I've never been to a wedding which had a theme for the whole day like medevil(sp) or something. I always thought your wedding colours were the theme? My friend had a few vintage touches like the flowers, but I wouldn't have said hers was a vintage theme. I've probably been no help at all here! I'm too hung over to make practical suggestions!!!

Reading MrsApplesToBe's post, I think some clarification might be required. To me, a 'theme' can take one of several tracks.

Firstly, a theme can simply be colours - ie ivory and green - where the decor, invites etc match.

Secondly, a theme can be colours plus stuff, ie we had an autumal/forest theme with autumnal colours dotted throughout our day, with leaves on the table, pinecones for the name tags etc.

Thirdly, a theme can be where you have the medieval theme, 1950's theme etc where everyone including guests is expected to dress up to match.

Most people have the first, some have the second, and very few do the third.

Our's is a very loose baseball theme (as we are both huge baseball fans) and our venue do provide top table flowers/menu's/table plans but if we go for them, they are very plain, so we will be providing our own and have informed the venue of that.

Our colours are royal blue and orange as they are the colours of our baseball team, but it will just be touches here and there.

I think a 'theme' is whatever you want it to be... even 'mismtached' could be a theme! Just go with what you like.

Your theme can be what ever you want and take it as far as you want....there is no set rules on this i dont think....do what ever you want its your day.

We are having a slight english theme with a bit of aussie thrown in.....we are getting married in our village church having the reception at the village pub...which happens to have the best fish restaurant in england...we having afternoon tea...then in the evening we are having fish and chips with lots of seafood as my partner loves the stuff....i dont care what my guests think its what we want that is important!

And as for the whole theme thing did that when i got married the last time....1940's all the way....everyone dressed up, military vechiles, wartime food, 1940's style band we even had a air raid in the middle of the reception and all our guests got under the tables....and at the end of the evening we had a VE day style send of with fireworks and guests singing land of hope and glory!....so like i said its up to you how far you take it!

fi

xx

THanks everyone. I've managed to calm down a bit now. I think as long as everything matches, it should be ok.

If the men's ties are a shade different from the bridesmaids dresses, I don't think anyone will notice

Our bm's dresses were a dark green but in certain light they almost looked blue, according to the camera... you'll be fine I'm sure.

I have never, ever heard anyone at a wedding tutting because things weren't 100% exact perfect matches... people are either too polite or don't mind You may stress over it before the day but once you hear the entrance music start and you walk into the venue you'll forget absolutely everything and just concentrate on your h2b and getting married. That's all that matters really.

You don't NEED a'theme'. You can have a colour scheme, some common threads running through your stationery, a shape that keeps cropping up, but no-one except you will really notice unless you point it out or it's so in-your-face that it can't be missed.

As long as you have things that you both like I think just having a colour scheme is fine, , ,