How much is your oh involved

My OH wanted to be as involved as he could. This was a nice surprise really as I wasn't expecting it.

He says that his brother told him that his only regret on his wedding was that he didn't take a bigger part in the planning as the day was so much better than he imagined it could be and wished he could say that he had helped

I was wondering about this for other B2Bs OHs compared to mine. He has been quite funny about it. There were a couple of months when I could show him stuff and he'd be interested and show a positive opinion, but most of the time, he just says, he doesn't want to get married at all, hates the fuss, just wants to BE married. We both know that we would be letting our friends and families down if we didn't share this day with them, its just I seem to be the only one out of us who wants to! I would hate for it to be forgettable, but he seems like he'd quite like it to be. It's really frustrating. So I just don't involve him now (except maybe for the food, because he likes food).

It's quite common. The act of getting married - which in its simplest form can be a 10 minute ceremony with just two witnesses present - is relatively inexpensive, hassle free (providing you meet the legal requirements which, let's face it, aren't that arduous).

However, the celebrating and partiny, and all the "show" surrounding it all can be overwhelming and I know exactly what he means. I'd have been quite happy with a small simple ceremony but we wanted to share it with our friends and family, hence it became the bigger (but manageable because we kept it under control and what we wanted) event.

I think sometimes people concentrate too much on the wedding, and forget about the marriage - or the reasons you're getting married in the first place.

I am quite involved, the dress is a different issue, the bridesmaids, the future Mrs Chippers doesnt want me to see what they will be wearing. And the colour scheme, well I am colour blind !!!

There has been quite a few ideas I have found from searching around the internet (how I ended up signing up here actually) which have been loved.

I really do questions those grooms that dont want to be involved ? -

As involved as I am, and I wont lie, I quite enjoy it, I know that the day is predominately about the bride, but then I suppose the reason I want to be involved so much is I want it to be the most perfect day ever for us both and for all our friends and family to enjoy with us so I will do as much as I can to make this happen.

Please forgive me, I havent read all replies in this post, I got as far as the following and my heart lept.......

Oh, thank god there is someone else out there who is sharing my stress!! This is exactly how my OH is, doesn't want to get married, just be married! exactly what mine said!! Mine would quite happily do the legal bit at the registry office then bugger off for a weekend away!

I've tried getting him involved, we did both choose the venue for reception - it was only one he actually showed an interest in! Have just recently suggested gearing the reception towards his love of motor sport to make him feel more involved in the day.......but that's as far as that conversation went ? (altho I am looking into arranging an old bus for his transport (which can also be used to transport guests to reception) as I know he loves them - sadly I couldn't quite afford for a vintage Formula 1 car for him! As that really would make his day!! (unless anyone on here knows of someone who has one and could help out?? she says laughingly!!)

My OH is very involved, we have chosen most things together apart from my dress.

My oh is having a paddy because he wanted to organise it all and I said no so now whenever I ask his opinion he says but I'm not allowed to organise anything

I am loving how many people are asking ?. They are my favourite wedding bargain, from ebay!

My OH is involved in everything so far. We had a wobbly start as all he wanted to think of was the Stag Do, and didn't want to admit to actually having to plan a wedding! Since a HUGE argument about it (and some other things!!) he is very excited and is loving planning our wedding. I'm a lucky bunny methinks!!!

I try to get hiom involved but he just says that I dont want his opinion. I let him choose the cake in the end. Although he wanted the sugar flowers to be red knowing full well our colour scheme is purple!!!!

My OH is quite involved he likes to pretend he is not really interested but when I ask him about things and show him items I would like us to get he gets excited about it all!

We have chosen the venue together and most other things and although i organise everything we both decide what we want. Obviously he knows nothing about my dress but I have shown him the bridesmaid dresses and accessories etc and he likes them but is not really concerned about it. I picked the florist etc but he is quite happy to show his likes and dislikes about flowers and also said we must have chair covers lol - even said if i wasnt having them on night he would work overtime to pay for extra ones lol!

We went today to look at the suits and he picked what he wanted and i asked him to get ivory cravat etc to match me so he picked charcoal grey tailcoat and looks gorgeous. He is going to decide later whether to put the other lads in silver or ivory waistcoats.

We have picked all gifts etc together and will choose the menu together. He doesnt care what the cake looks like as long as there is spice lol!

So pretty much we have an equal say in it although when I asked him to help me pick readings he said no because he wants them to be a surprise??!!

I think its funny and i love how interested he is although he pretends not to be!!

It varies with my OH. We chose the main things together, but some things like the cake I have been given free rein with, as long as it had chocolate. But then I was told no cupcakes! Haha

Most things I have done all the research and then shown OH, where he has given his opinion. Where he hasn't liked things, I have had to go off and research again until I find something he likes.

He has had no say in my dress and my BMs. I will have no say in the suits.

He's also not bothered about the little frilly details like decorations and flowers, so I'm sorting those, and he says he'll be happy as long as it all looks nice

My OH is very involved - apart from my dress we have chosen everything together, or he has decided and I've been happy to go along with it, he even came on a full day shopping with me and 3 bridesmaids to choose their dresses and he was quite opinionated but chose some amazing dresses I never would have looked twice at on the hanger! I'm actually leaving choosing flowers and cake to him, he has brilliant ideas and is very definite about what he wants, with these things it's me that is the easy going one! This is the same with our home, he has all the style ideas, even made our curtains himself and pours over interior design mags! Yes - I know - he does sound quite camp!! lol, in reality he is not at all! haha ?