How to get in the right mood?!

I think it is quite normal and logical. I get married on Friday and still am not feeling excited. Mainly because we have had a desperately ill rat for the last week and all our energy has gone into nursing him, so I haven't had time to get excited (or eat or sleep). I honestly don't think I will be excited until the actual day, then it will hit me.

From my experience it's completely normal. The run up is very busy and stressful and TBH it didn't really hit me until about 1pm when I was about to put my dress on that I was getting married and I was stupid excited about it. From that point on I grinned like a mad lady and had the best day ever. I don't think there is a way to make it feel longer than it is, and it will fly by when you look back but my way of dealing with it was to keep doing vaguely related wedding-y things. We had a massive family lunch on the sunday at a gorgeous pub which was fab because everyone was reminiscing about their favourite parts of the day. We went away on the Monday morning for a week which helped and then this week although we are back to work I'm going to treat my husband to a nice dinner on a friday with a bottle of fizz as our gifts will be delivered and we can open them together and enjoy the newly wed excitement a bit further.

When we got back from minimoon I had a really down day where I couldn't get motivated to do anything and just had a cry about it all being over but I pulled myself together and I do still have the blues but I'm dealing with it by celebrating anything and any little milestone so far and enjoying being in our romantic bubble.

DrBuffles, you have made me feel so much better! I am feeling just like CristaMB. I am so happy to be marrying the man of my dreams, but I am pretty meh about all things wedding, nervous about the day and sad that all the planning is coming to an end. H2B is not helping much as he keeps telling me how he would've done things differently and saved money. He is looking forward to it, but I keep having to try and convince him that everything is going to be worthwhile, which is hard when I'm not sure it is!

x

Hello,

Firstly CristaMB thank you so much for posting this, I needed to see this today.

I'm getting married on Saturday and today was my last day in the office, I recently joined a new team but been working for the company for nearly 7 years and a few co-workers in other departments are joining us in the evening - I expected a lovely day filled with compliments and gushing (and Ive been organised so was finishing off my last bits) and as I have seen for many, many other brides to be, a very decorated desk but nope!! My desk was bare - but instead I got a stressful day filled with a list of things to do that I had not expected (brand new things to do that maybe shouldnt have been asked when now out of the office for 3 weeks) and it was just a bit meh, albeit I did have a gift. I've seen ladies on here get treated to lunch out or drinks and off home early, but nope nothing didn't bring lunch as thought I'd be taken out but nope ended up not eating all day as no lunch and no time and was told I had to stay to home time.

After 7 years and seeing many other women and men have such a fuss and ceremony - and I am a first time bride at the ripe old age of 28 - today was just flat and disappointing.

This has left me terrified that I had expected so much and today was a let down. I came home and my OH had done a load of unexpected things like buying tags for our new suitcases, going and getting our euros etc - we had our wedding rehearsal yestersay and despite him not being very involved in the planning, today he has been really up for it and obviously busy planning the sensible things. I was too fed up to really show an interest.

But as I say after today I'm gutted, scared that our wedding day also now won't be as woah amazing as I expected. Today was a complete let down, I didn't even crack a smile whe reading a card that I got given, a lot of people I know well appear not to have signed it including my boss. My OH was not impressed at my sulking but just can't shake it - I hope tomorrow morning when I wake up a fresh with no work to head off too I will feel better.

So sorry if I sound like a selfish moo, this wedding planning can send people a bit mad I guess xx

And I am so sorry if I've hijacked your post but as I say glad other people are questioning their mood xx

I understand. I'm a bugger for overthinking and being sad something is over before it's begun! I'm also a worrying hostess so most of my stresseS were about making sure everyone else had a lovely time.

All I can say is try your best to be as organised as you can before hand. Give lists and info to anyone you can trust and spend the morning focussing on yourself. It does goes quickly but at the same time it seems like a long day. I was discussing with my mum after dinner that the mornings preparations had felt like the previous day.

Try not to ruin it for yourself before it's started. Easy to say I know.

Oh I'm so sorry! I would be disappointed too if other people had been made a fuss of and you were looking forward to it. I made a fuss when my manager had her last day in the office and i know it meant a lot to her. Her husband made a point of thanking me on their wedding day as she was so pleased. I am annoyed on your behalf that people forgot! The build up can be so long that little things like that help keep the excitement along the way!

I have much further to go until my wedding but i find the whole thing terrifying/nerve wracking! I would describe myself as bubbly and chatty with lots of friends but i am not used to being in limelight. Obviously no issue with my H2B (although he is in the forces and away alot so we aren't likely to see each other more than once a month for the following year after our wedding which isn't how i imagined it to be!)

What i am trying to say is...You are not alone. A lot of people feel like this. You cannot keep the build up and excitement huge and momentous for months on end. It might not feel real yet. You will have a lovely day, you will look beautiful and you will have a husband. I know it's hard but try not to worry!

Hiya Stephny691

Thanks for the advice. I'm based in Hertfordshire.

I'm going to sound terrible when I say this but it was a little bit like a relief for me when the day was over.

When it came to it I actually felt like I needed a complete break from talking weddings and have only in the past week or 2 felt like I could come back to Hitched even though I was very involved in this site before the big day. I was so into the planning so I've really surprised myself with how I've felt tbh.

Having said that, I did have a lot of other cr*ppy stuff to deal with in the lead up to my wedding which took a bit of the shine away so my views might (and probably will) be different to the most.

Anyway.... Don't forget that at the end of the day you'll get what you're doing it all for... To marry the person you love.

And besides, you'll still have the fun of thank you cards and waiting for the photos etc!

And then when you feel ready to, you can come back on here and spread your words of wisdom! :-D

Hertfordshire bride, I completely get where you're coming from (not just because I'm also from Herts and 28!).

I'd been working for a company where I had practically been best mates with my (then) boss for years, we had been friends before I worked for her. But things had become so bad between us because of her bullying ways. The day I left the company (because I couldn't deal with her any more) and to get married a couple of days later there was absolutely nothing done for me despite all the effort I had gone to for my (thankfully ex) boss/friend when she had got married 6 months before because she had made everyone feel like they daren't do anything for me or even mention my wedding even though a couple of people were coming. In fact, when I went to leave at the end of the day she just walked out the room and I haven't seen her since. It was almost like I just got up at the end of a normal day, gave everyone other than her a hug and walked out the door.

Don't let experiences like this get you down. I've pretty much been where you are now and it makes absolutely no difference to the fact that you will be marrying the person you love at the end of the day. Yes it is a bummer because you want everything to be perfect but what happens at work won't affect your amazing day!

Thanks Pugsley for your kind words and to Barnett too

after a couple of days I have seen some lovely friends and recieved an early wedding gift that blew our minds - so feeling much better. But thank you for reassuring me it is normal to just want your life back albeit of course being a married woman to the person you love, but you just want it to happen already.

But tonight is my last night at home, with my OH and our doggie - so I won't stay long - but thank you xx

Thank you all for your advice and empathy! It's such a relief that people feel the same way. HertfordshireB2B I really wish that this lack of interest wasn't happening to you, but I'm grateful to you for sharing it. I've discovered through this that people can be mean! (including my own sister!). I don't know if it's a jealousy thing or what! I had a physio session the other day (bad back) and the physiotherapist & the receptionist were over the moon when I told her I was getting married in 3 weeks! Strangers seem to more excited than my friends and family!