How to solve this issue - advice please :o(

I'm not surprised ur feeling down but chin up Do you think that a nice letter would enable you to express how you feel better? Although then maybe you aren't guaranteed a reply. I think you have to just be honest with him and explain that despite what has happened in the oast, he is your dad and you would love him to give you away on your wedding day. Hopefully this will tug on heart strings, and as you have said yourself you have 2 others just incase.

I think that planning a wedding has taught me that as much as I want everything a certain way its important to keep focused on the two most important people... you and your OH, so as long as ur hubby is there to walk you back down the aisle then you will have the greatest day!

Good luck!!

I would pick up the phone and ask him. He's maybe felt funny when its been discussed before because he hasn't seen that much of you for a number of years and he isn't sure whether he'll be playing the traditional 'Father of the Bride' role as it hasn't been discussed.

The worst that will happen is that he'll say no which would obviously be v disappointing but you have other options already so you wouldn't be at a loss.

Let us know how you get on.

Maybe he's been a bit reluctant as he's unsure how much of a role you want him to play... do you want him to also do a speech for example?

I'd say, once you've figured what you want him to do then give him a call, it doesn't have to be a heavy conversation. Just say "Hi dad, I just wanted to check if you're ok to walk me down the aisle at the wedding?" Also, if you don't want him to sit at the top table or do a speech I'd make that clear too. Is his wife going to be there too? would he prefer to sit with her rather than at the top table etc etc.

I agree with Gillsy here perhaps he's not sure what you would like him to do so it trying to avoid having to think about it?

My daddy lives in the same direction Despite his pain walking etc he was able to walk me down the aisle but he didnt give a long speech as he didnt feel it was appropriate given mum brought us up and he only saw us on weekends or a few times a year..

Oddly it ws my mother who had no interest in taling about the wedding, lolol...

I think your dads just feeling a bit awkward and perhaps wondering what you expect from him. My dad gave a welcome speech to all the guests and an 'all the best' toast to hubby and I. He couldnt say anymore than that. Perhaps your dads wondering whats going to be expected of him.....

tell him walking you down the aisle would mean loads if hes comfortable doing so....or if he'd rather come as a VIP then you can ask your grandpa or Uncle....... but please dont think hes NOT interested as he will be, he will just be worrying about it. My dad was even nervous at seeing my aunts and uncles and cousins....and I'm happy to say that everyone stopped over at his table and had a good chat to him.......

hope it all works out x

As well as agreeing with what others have said about him maybe not being sure what you want, I have something else to add............

Although I am closer to my Dad, so not the same situation, he has lived in France for the last 12 years and I probably only see him once a year or so. He was over the moon when I said I was getting married and like yours wanted to know when it was so he could arrange to come over. However, I have never actually asked him officially to give me away - I just kind of assumed it was the done thing and he would assume he was. I was talking to him one day about getting measured for a suit and he said "don't be silly I will buy a suit" - it was then that I realised he hadn't even considered that I might want him to give me away!!!

The other thing is that even with less than 7 months to go my dad still thinks we 'have ages'!! Maybe because it's not that close, he hasn't started really thinking about it yet?

Dont despair. i am sure he feels awkward talking about the details because maybe he thinks u dont want him too involved, maybe cos of the stepmother etc, and he doesnt want to overstep. but if you set the boundaries and dont make it into a huge deal, he will be more than happy. and if he feels uncomfortable with the idea, then at least u gusy can tlak it through and have an honet conversation. good luck xx

My mum left my dad when i was a baby, i didn't see him much until i was about 6/7 (he was an alcoholic n v unreliable). I've grown alot closer to him in the last 3/4 years as he's now married to my wonderful stepmum, (i absolutely adore her n think she has done alot for our relationship). They were both v excited about the wedding n i assumed he'd expect to give me away. during one phone call i could tell he was feeling awkward n wanting to ask me something, he didn't want to assume he was giving me away as i'm quite close to my grandad n because i'd not specifically asked him. he was delighted when i said i would love him to.

Phone him up n try to bring the subject round but saying that if he doesn't want to there's no pressure. he might be wanting to ask you but not know how.

Thanks for all your kind responses ladies - very helpful as always!!

well i went home last night and called my Dad and we had a very lengthy discussion on the wedding, i told him we had to discuss it as it was not only needed but it was unfair if we kept putting it off - there were a lot of tears shed from both sides!

He basically doesnt want to give me away - he says its unfair as he hasnt been there for me and only a person who has played a 'father figure' should do this, which yes i can say i do agree with....i told him that despite him not being there, he is my father and i want him to do this. I said that had it not been for my step mum he would still be in Essex and we woul have the relationship any father and daughter deserve, and not to let her ruin this one day where if he walks me down that aisle, everything to me will be made up for from the past. I dont hold a grudge or anything, i cant do that to people

he finally agreed to give me away which im really happy over but also feel very nervous about, ? i think the fact of me telling him that i will only ever have one daddy won him over, and for the fact i told him i love him for the first time i ever remember myself in 24years lol!

we also discussed the prospect of my stepmum being there, i knew this was an inevitable happneing as my half sister (her and my dads daughter) is being a bridesmaid. I know she will be there and i will just act gown up with the fact that yes ok, she is what she is, but she is going to be there for my sister, not me

i feel so much better over it, still not 100% as still issues to cover now like suits, table plans for him and the step mum etc but ive crossed the one all important hurdle which is great! xxx

I'm glad you guys got it out in the open and cleared the air a bit. hope the rest of the stuff (table plan etc) goes smoothly! xxx

Thank you !! xxxxx

Your post about talking to your dad just made me [:'(] a bit! I am so glad you've got it sorted out - and well done for the great way you're handling the stepmum situation. OT, but your pic is lovely - you both look so happy.

ahhhh thank you so much - is a bit of an old pic now, think i need to update it! xxx