how utterly utterly grim!

Oh maaan. How will you keep astraight face?

That's mpressively athletic for the morning. Youth eh?

Im cringing on your behalf. I don't know what i would have done except run away screaming!

? I take it you'll be knocking in future, even if they're out?!

? Oh God, poor you.

On a similar note of mortification, Master J, aged 11, walked in on us mid session last night ? We sprung apart like a couple of scalded cats, but I'm sure he got a good view. We even had a mucky movie on. Oh, the shame ?

His reaction was to giggle, and he hasn't mentioned it since. But I am sure he will ask me tonight. WTF do I say? ?

?

The strange thing was, whilst it only lasted a second or so, I just stood there staring, unable to summon up the wit to do anything else!

When they came down for breakfast, my brother kept grinning like a cheshire cat, revelling in my embarrasment (why was I embarrased??) whereas she and I never so much as exchanged any sort of eye contact at all.

Grim grim grim.

This has made me Laugh this morning thank you! Dont know what i would have done probably as you say ran away screaming!!!

So I'm guessing the book about 'How to be a man' is a bit unnecessary at this juncture? ?

Harumph. I am saying nothing ??

Oh dear ?

For some reason this has triggered memories of the morning after my brother's wedding, when some woman I didn't know from Adam approached me at breakfast and said "So, did you get a shag last night, then?"

I was a bit nonplussed, but said "Yes, as it happens, but I don't see why it's any of your business" - whereupon the penny must have dropped that I wasn't in fact my brother, and she looked mortified. My girlfriend (at the time) and I still laugh about it to this day.

Sorry Clairy but ? at "mucky movie"! Reminds me of Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough talking about "mucky books"!

? You poor thing - although it sounds as though she was more mortified than you!

?

I'd have died.

?

? totally fabulous!

It does seem a rather ambitious position to do as a guest in a relatives house. If I have sex in other people's houses it's always a quickie under the covers. I've never swing around shouting "yeeee haaaa".

Wearing a cowboy hat, riding boots and wielding a crop? ?

I once walked in on my friend having sex with her boyf on my sofa ? - I thought they were cuddling, but after a few minutes i realised they were mid shag ?

?? at 'yeeee haaaaaa!' I'm sure it was worse for the girlfriend than for you. But only just!

When I was a student, we had a weird landlord. TBH the landlord's son used to do much of the maintenance, and he was only a couple of years older than us.

The alpha male of the house, Shaun, had the boiler in his room. Landlord's son walked in to fix the boiler whilst Shaun and his GF were mid shag. The Landlord's son was clearly embarrassed, but did he back out of the room quickly? No. He carried on maintaining the boiler like nothing was happening ?

How do you ... *ahem*... climb down from that and maintain your dignity? ?

I would've been so embarassed but would like to think that I would turn into the annoying old guy from the Harry Enfield sketch..

"you dont wanna do it like that..."

poor naive, Sparks. I assume you were much younger and less wise ? back then.

I am afraid there was no mistaking this sparks.

The position offered me a view of a very many things. I can tell you her choice of pubic topiary for instance and also [reach] saw penetration [reach].

She did have great tits though!!

Oh god no, I would have hidden from breakfast this morning if I was you!

Dare you to get a cowboy hat and leave it on the bed for them?

?

Oh yes, please do ?

How embarrassing for all parties involved, loving the 'topiary' comment!

But what I am pleased with is that this has brought back 'Friday Smut'...it's been absent from hitched for far too long ?

Waaaaaaaah! that would be fantastic ?

Errrmmm, no. I want it to all go away as soon as possible and if he or she never mention it again, I think that will be just fine! ?

She didn't have red hair, did she?

On her head, I mean.

Waaahhhh!!!

No she is dark and, errr, dark, well whats left anyway ?