How would you approach this re cancer in family

I would do a bit more research first as a lot of cancers have a fairly low chance of being heridary or lower than you'd think so if you were going to upset your mum by asking and the chance for you or your family was only 15% say then I wouldn't bother but would read up as much as possible about the type of cancer to be more informed.

It's not nice, I read up about breast cancer when H's aunt got it recently and it did help me understand ?

I would just ask your mum, although I'd put it in the context of talking about her mother generally rather than talking about hereditary cancer. Do you have any reason to think she'd be very upset by you mentioning her mother's illness? Obviously bereavement is an extremely upsetting subject but that doesn't mean it's something that shouldn't be talked about, quite the reverse IMO.

Thanks ? Not sure why I think she'd be upset, especially as it was over 40 years ago now! Maybe it's because mum has never talked about her mum that I never really wanted to mention it.

Think I'll have a chat with her when they get back from France. I'm not completely sure whether it was liver cancer, and I have no idea how to find out apart from asking.

If it would be a way into the conversation you could always say it's for a Health Insurance form. They frequently ask about Close Family members and specific illnesses.

As for the worrying about getting ill when your LO is 15- you're not alone with worries like this. My MIL died when she was 34, of Thyroid Cancer. As a result H has this in his mind a lot, especially since he turned 30 recently. My SIL is even more marked in her fears- she has said (repeatedly, and stands by it) that she wouldn't have children until 'at least' 35. I feel for them (and you), they both know that there is no rationality to their fear, but it is still there.

? for you