Huge Family

It's hard isn't it I have a massive family too! Both my parents remarried and had children so I ended up with step siblings and half siblings and then 4 sets of grandparents and tons of aunts, uncles ect. I have invited most of them bar 3 aunties who I haven't seen in 15 years! (Which has been moaned about) and my uncle who refuses to come as it's too far (30mins!)

OH has a very small family so it's evened out really he only has one grandparent and nobody from his dads side (except his dad) is coming x

Hello and welcome to hitched. most of us who have started planning our weddings will know the truth in 'you can't please everyone, no matter how hard you try' so with this in mind, just please yourselves. If you want them all there invite them all, if you want none of them there then invite none. and if you want one and not the others then invite the one you want to, and if the others ask why they haven't been invited tell them the truth... you didn't have the space or budget and you don't see them/ hear from them. One thing you definitely shouldn't do is exclude friends you would like to invite in favour of family you're not bothered about. friends do not always trump family. happy planning.

As they live near you wouldn't it be easy to invite them all to the evening do? That might be a safe compromise.

Hi ClaireyLou, I also have step-family and various relatives with children. My finance doesn't have a huge family so that has balanced things out a bit. I've not got to the stage yet of sending out invitations but I'm considering inviting all of the 'main' relatives but not all of their children. Some of them I barely know so I just think why should I? I know at some point I'm probably going to offend someone but it's just going to get silly. Plus we never envisaged our wedding being particularly full of children. We want our niece, my bridesmaid's daughter and a handful of other kids and that's it. At the risk of sounding miserable I don't want it to be huge kid's party.

If you hardly see them, would they not be fairly understanding of the situation?

We set a rule: if we haven't seen them since we got together, then they don't get invited. This has meant some family have missed out and some friends, but it's a second wedding for both of us and we wanted something small and low key and even WITH that rule the guest list wound up being bigger than either of us had the first time round!

It does mean that if anyone complains about not being invited, we just point to our rule. If they were that bothered about being in our lives for big events, they'd have been in them for the small stuff too.

I agree with Paula, can they be invited to the evening only? I have 10 aunties and uncles many of whom we haven't seen for a long time just because everyone is spread out over the country. We have only asked 1 of my aunties to the day, the others I asked to the evening do. I haven't explicitly said to any of them that my auntie is coming all day but I hope they would understand because I'm much closer to her than the others.

I think the 1 year rule or not having seen you together as a couple are good tests as well.

Another vote for inviting them to the evening do. I think that's your best action here and agree with what others have said. x

That's my thought too, just overwhelmed with the numbers. We are only having close family and a couple of close friends each to the ceremony. For the reception I thought 100 was going to do it... Now looking at 150. Bet by the day that's 200! Lol.

Now hit the "But he'll expect to be invited..." with hubby-to-be. My exact words last night involved swearing as the 'friend' in question (who he hasn't seen in 3 years) is a lecherous asshat. If he was really that concerned he could have actually come and MET me once. ¬_¬ /rant

I've just got to take a step back, methinks, and consider whether I am going to keep it small or just have everyone and their aunts too.