Humanist wedding or temporary civil licence?

Do you align with the philosophies of humanism, with secularism, the rejection of the supernatural as a basis for human morality?

If so, go for it. but like the old 'Should I get married in a church?' threads, I don't think you should have this type of ceremony for convenience. That risks undermining the value of it for those who truly follows the philosophy of humanism.

Hmm. Insteresting thought. What do those of us who neither subscribe to a particular religion nor reject the supernatural/spiritual do?

Yeah - I wouldn't describe myself as a humanist because I don't feel I need to align myself with a particular philosophy but the the idea of a supernatural being boggles me (a firm atheist) and it isn't the basis of morality at all and I do believe in a secular state.

does that makes sense

I wouldn't do it if I didn't feel that way - but is it okay if when asked I wouldn't describe myself as a humanist? (even if on values and beliefs I am) also I have never been to humanist wedding (only a funeral) so have no idea about what is involved.

It sounds like sense to me!

A humanist wedding focuses on the couple and is usually very personal. The other day, you were asking about the possibility of not saying vows - I suspect you might find a humanist ceremony puts you far more in the spotlight than a quick civil ceremony would.

He he, you can be a humanist and be either atheist or theist. The difference is how much focus each group puts onto the supernatural. But the central tenet is 'humans first', that we are responsible for our lives, for society and for our choices.

The organised arm of humanism inthe UK is geared heavily to secularism, which tends - only tends - to be more highly sought a goal among atheists. So humanism tends - only tends - to be viewed as synonymous with atheism. But it's not.

I have shot a humanist wedding so I guess qualify as being at one.

They are absolutely beautiful and very personal to the couple.

The couple had the ceremony in the Grooms parents garden in Scotland (they were from London) and hired tipis to have the reception in. They had the ceremony outside with all the guests sitting on mismatched chairs or just on blankets or the grass.

I am not sure about how the licence would work but can recommend someone who you can ask. She's a celebrant and would know more about that than I do.

If you would also like to see the wedding then just let me know.

Thanks to you all

That would be my thing against it.

as others said about it being very personal

but then if it is personal - I guess the vows could be really really basic

But then OH really likes the idea and I know it would mean a lot to my dad to say something (he's would want to say something using Buddhist teaching or along that vein but is that 'allowed' in humanist weddings?)

And I am coming round to the idea to getting married at his parents - it was were we met after all

Hi Gippdeer

We are getting married in a humanist ceremony in August and currently working on our ceremony with our celebrant. Basically, as long we as we say our legal statements we can do as much or as little as we like so this could be a great option for you.

I am also concerned about our vows, as H2B really wants us to write these privately so as to surprise each other on the day. He is romantic and very eloquent on sharing his feelings, I am much more inclined to sarcastic wit (well wit to me, probably odd to others)and I had mentioned this to our celebrant just yesterday. Her advice was: Vows can be different and if couples are different 'types', I think it is good if vows reflect this, but think to unify a little, it helps if perhaps, if first lines and /or last line, number of lines etc., are the same.

Hopefully this helps and might alleviate any worries you have in this regard - you can be short and sweet while H2B can be more effusive if that's what works for you. Humanist celebrants do get booked very quickly here so I'd recommend checking some out on the HSS website and seeing who would appeal to you then having a chat with them. Ours appealed to me for her sensible and down to earth approach which appeals to mine :-)

How much is the temporary civil license? You might've saved a good buck having the reception in a back garden, so if there's room for the license personally that'd be my choice, less moving around

Go for it! I really wanted a humanist wedding, it's so annoying that they aren't recognized in England but they are in Scotland. I have only every been to and arranged Humanist funerals but I've read some humanist marriage vows and think they sound lovely. So heartwarming and I find they offer sensible advise. I did consider going to the registry office first with a few guests and then having a humanist speaker come to the actual ceremony. But it means paying twice for the ceremony which I can't get on board with and my family won't be on board for a trip to Scotland boo.

Hi Carol,

Are you based in Scotland also or in England? If you're in England I'd be interested to know what your doing for your ceremony as reading this thread has really highlighted to me that having a Humanist ceremony is important to me. I had a humanist speaker at my Mother, Grandfather and Grandmother's funerals and thought he was the loveliest man.

I've been to a Humanist wedding in France and this was where I had my first contact with Humanism. After that, I read up about it and realised that I am a Humanist.

I am getting married in Spain in a Humanist ceremony. It's not legal over there (similar to England), so we are doing the "paperwork" in England first, at a registry office.

We wrote our entire ceremony ourselves, without any input from a celebrant. In fact, we hadn't even organised our celebrant at the point we had finished writing it! You can have whatever you jolly well want in there. It's all about you. If you don't want vows, you don't have to have them.