I am going to scream...or kill someone!

I am sorry but if you have paid that much there dresses than I would not pay a penny more. I would leave the dresses at the shop where they have been altered and tell them if they want them then they can go and collect them.

I take it they asked for the dresses to be altered to suit and they knew they were meant to be paying for it, and I would tell your sinl2b that if she has a problem to speak to you and h2b and not go to her dad as is should not involve him.

Hi Tiggy

Id happily do that but H2B wont...he's too nice for his own good sometimes.

Oh well never mind eh..it will soon be over and we'll be in Mexico....and we can't wait!

Sooooo wish we'd got married abroad! lol

That's a really awful situation to be in. Were the alterations really expensive? I'm just wondering if they had an idea in their head that this hasn't matched up to, I know the costs of some alterations can be really high and some people don't expect it. But if they had agreed to pay they really shouldn't have reacted like that. I think that's a lot of money to spend on dresses anyway, my wedding dress was less than half that so they can't expect you to fork out to have them altered. Will they not fit as they are (I know they will fit better for being adjusted but would they do without?)

I really don't know what else to say, sorry just hope they come to their senses and it get sorted.

Hi Jem

They knew in advance how much they would be.

SIL2B has to pay £25 and the other two had hems and seams done so thiers were £45 . One of my Bm's hasnt batted an eye lid ...she even tried to pay for her shoes..the others have just taken off us over and over again!

T

I'm sorry but I would feel inclined to leave them at the shop - up to your bms to sort themselves out, you have spent a fortune and they are very fortunate that you have been able to afford those things. They need to realise their postion as a BM works both ways. Its not a 'responsibility' to wear a nice frock and swan about for a day, they have their obligations and being prepared to fork out (if they are earning) is going to be one of them..... at least see you half way if possible.....

Why dont you tell them that there dresses are at the shop, and if they want to they can shop arround to see if they can get them altered cheaper elsewhere, but its up to them to sort it out. I have been a bridesmaids several times and i have always teneded to just go with the flow but i know of others who have moaned about very slight things it is very annoying x

Hi Girls

Thanks for the replies. Nice to know that not everyone thinks were being unreasonable

T

You're really not! sorry, only just come back in. It's not like you're asking them to pay £100 each, it's a reasonable amount and if they had already agreed they can't argue about it now! I agree with the other, leave them at the shop and tell your bms to go get them...

I have just had sil2b round who is going to be one of my bridesmaids and she's just offered to pay for her dress, shoes and any jewellery too. There's always one good one isnt there!!

What a nightmare, you certainly dont need this hassle so close to your wedding. im with everyone else tell them they are in, with a gentle reminder that the paying for the alterations was mentioned a while ago so not entireley out of the blue....its then up to them to sort it out....meanwhile try not to stress yourself about it.

Whilst I don't think your bridesmaids have handled themselves well as they agreed to pay for the alterations. I would not personally expect my bridesmaids to pay for alterations, at the end of the day you have asked them to be part of the wedding so I would not expect them to have to pay for that.

But they have agreed to pay, so they should honour that. If they said they would pay, they shouldn't kick up a fuss now, they should have said they weren't happy before the alterations happened.

i am aware of the fact they agreed to pay beforehand, my post clearly stated that. But personally if it was me I would rather have some peace by paying and knowing they will be wearing the dresses rather than the alternative which is to leave it up to them, stress and potentially no dresses.

Apologies as I don't know when your wedding is. Is it possible that you can afford to pay for the alterations and then they repay you? Would you be able to still get your veil? I know that if I was told I had to pay out £25 at the moment I wouldn't have the money as I don't get paid until next week. Maybe there is a compromise out there so you don't end up bridesmaidless when you've paid out so much already?

The wedding is in 19 days! Were just going to pay it all...... I'll go without the veil.....doesnt seem that important any more

We've been up front from the begining , they knew exactly what they were paying for when they had the last fitting three weeks ago. They knew when it had to be paid and how much.

In the big scheme of things it doesnt matter...we both just feel we want it over with now, to be old marrieds and just get on with growing old together......it doesnt matter who's there in the day.....as long as we get married. But we've certainly found out who our friends are through all this.

Thanks again ladies

T

It's a shame they are behaving like that, and putting you under unnecessary stress. Good luck on your wedding day, I'm sure you'll have a great time x

I would be a bit peeved as well!!!, If it were me, I would go ahead and pay for their alterations and then skimp on paying for their food...they can't have everything on YOUR wedding day now can they!?! ? lol

I totally don't think you are being unreasonable, its a bit of a nerve to react like this 19 days before your big day.

You are right, you get to know who your friends are alright, H2B could'ent wait for our day to come, and just slop into the background once it was over, saying that we did have the best days of our lives!

Chin up and concentrate on the positives, dont let people spoil it for you!?

Hi Girls

We'll neither of us slept that much last night. Im off work but H2B didnt look good going in this morning.

Im off to pay the alterations later and pay for my veil...Chris decided that I was having it no matter what.....as I am the most important thing to him! Oh bless him

I had txt from CBM last night saying she could put them on her card but has no cash and is going to have to sell her car. Think it was just a reaction to the message that I left her on facebook...nothing nasty just saying that we'd cover them and that I was not having a veil as it was using up that part of the budget.

Chris has had txt from his sister saying they will pay that its fine, she didnt know her Dad had rung...yeah right! He's had a guts full bless him and just said it's paid for now and thanks a lot for spoiling what should have been a lovely day for us yesterday. He also said that he's cancelling their room at the hotel the night of the wedding as if £25 is toomuch to pay then £120 for the 4 of them to stay one night is way too much! and he sisnt want to put any more financial pressure on them!....dont know if she'll pick up onthe sarcasum as she's not that bright....opps sorry that was a bit bitchy.

Im not going to be there later when they have their fitting...dont want to spend any time with them today, they ahve really hurt us both, which is uncalled for this close to the wedding.....his sister will probably kick off that Im not there...but I dont really give a damn!

Thanks for the support girls.......

T