I am going to wake up in a minute aren't I? UPDATE on Page 4 Warning- #dadcancer

Didn't want to read and run. You have had some lovely words of advice and support from fellow hitchers. Its an awful time for you and I feel deeply sorry you are put in this situation. Sending you a massive hug.

As others have said, keep yourself strong and looked after so that you can be there for him. Carry on with your wedding plans. It gives your dad, your family and yourself something to take your mind off things.

Just know that we are here for you at any time day or night to let your feelings out.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Can't really add anything to what the others have said. Sending you a hug

I'm so sorry to read this. Sending you massive hugs and all positive thoughts. XxX

Deebee I'm so sorry, I have nothing to add to any of the advice you have received but we are here for you should you need us.

I hope you get work sorted so you can spend some time with your Dad. x

DeeBee, so sorry to hear this and more weirdy internet hugs from me.

I am so sorry to read this lovely. Can't imagine what you are going through. x

What a terrible time for you and your family, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I would echo what others have said about taking care of yourself (eating properly, sleeping, doing whatever you do to relax) as well as spending as much time with your Dad and family as you can manage. Delegate any wedding things that need organised to friends. You will be experiencing a whole whirlwind of emotions but know that everything you feel is ok. Use the support of your fiance as much as you need to and come on here any time you need to not be strong for a moment xx

Ah man, I'm so sorry x

I'm so so sorry to see this. I hope you stick to your wedding plans, as others have said, it's something positive for him to focus on and also a chance for you all to be together.

Big hug xx

I'm so, so sorry for you.

Don't be scared of mentioning the wedding. Mine is not the same as your situation, but when my mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer the first thing she said was I will be at your wedding, I will see my little girl get married. This was before i was engaged, i hadn't even met my OH at this point. But for her that was what she was going to focus on to get through all the treatment. My point is, your dad will do everything he possibly can to be at your wedding. It'll be something positive to focus on.

My Bridesmaids uncle sadly passed away a few months ago, but after being given only weeks, he carried on months to see his daughter get married. Its amazing what you can achieve when you really put your mind to something.

I couldn't read this and not say anything...

I'm really sorry to hear your going through such a tough time, am sending you lots of internet hugs
Don't be afraid to mention your wedding, give your dad something positive and lovely to look forward to

xxx

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I found really comfort in them, particularly the knowledge that Macmillan would help get my Dad to my wedding.

Sadly it wasn't to be.

Dad died at 7.20am yesterday morning. He was the bravest man I have ever known. We discovered on Sunday evening that his cancer was causing liquid on his abdomen that combined with the pneumonia would not allow his lungs to carry on working. He could have had two more days with invasive procedures but chose to die to save us the pain of having to see him suffer.

We had 11 hours together, him and his musketeers (my mum, me, my siblings and our partners). There were many tears but also so many laughs. He didn't cry once and when I tried to he made me sing "When you're smiling" instead. I wasn't at his side when he died - he waited for me to leave the room - but I have no regrets and believe that was what he wanted for me.

We are all devastated but glad he won't go through prolonged suffering. He was the Dad I've spent the last 34 years with to the end; unselfish, caring, polite, a true gent. My heart is broken and my world is a darker place without him, but that said I feel blessed that I ever had him in the first place.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your love for each other seeps out from your posts, long may that love stay in your heart xx

Oh sweetheart, I am so so sorry

I have nothing helpful to say, I wish you and your family all the best, he sounds like such a lovely man.

I am so so sorry to read your update. My love and thoughts go to you and your family as you work through this difficult time. Take some time to look after yourself and take strength in the memories of what a wonderful dad he was.

Thank you all. Getting my head around life without him is terrible enough without the added kick in the teeth of spending the most important day of my life without my right hand man. 46 days to go, and I wish it was 46 million.

My amazing Doodles with his wife and children (I'm in green) >>>

So sorry for your loss. You are being very brave, even if it doesn't feel like it!

I'm so so sorry for your loss. your dad sounds like an amazing man and I'm glad you got to have those final hours all together. my thoughts are with you and your family. xx

So sorry for your loss. My fiancé's mother has also just passed away from bowel cancer and I just want to send you a big hug. This is the hardest thing to deal with and it is just impossibly sad. Xx

I'm so sorry to hear this update.x

I am so sad to read this and for all you and your family are going through. You have written some lovely words about your dad and I am sure he would be just as touched by them - clearly he was a very special man

Our thoughts are with you xx

Oh bless you and your family that is the saddest thing to read. Your dad will be comfortable now, I am glad to read that you managed to get there and all be together. Don't think about your wedding for now (delegate to I'm sure your willing family and friends if need be) spend a few days but 46 days time your dad will be watching and smiling I am sure X

I'm so so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you all.

So sorry to read your update and sending you some more inadequate internet hugs xxx

Im so sorry to read your update, i lost my dad twenty years ago to cancer, if you would like to chat please feel free, but sending hugs xx

So sorry to read your posts such a short time from the first to the update. your Dad sounds amazing. Mine also died of cancer and also only thought of how to make it better for his family. Take some time to grieve and celebrate his life he would be proud of the way you are handling this.

It sounds so very inadequate to say how sad I am for your loss. Like many of us on here, I too lost my dad & sister to cancer a few years back. The pain does, in time fade but your memories of him will stay with you & a lot of them will become stronger & stronger. Focus on these wonderful memories that you have & never, ever stop talking about him. He would, i'm certain, want you to have a fabulous wedding day & he will be with you, in spirit & in everyone's hearts.

It sounds like he had a very dignified end. Hold on to that - it will be of comfort in the coming weeks.

You have an amazing family around you - all will be grieving in their own ways, but you seem as though you all have the support in each other. Words are, of course, inadequate, but you have all our thoughts.

I am so sorry DeeBee. I hope you can take a decent amount of time off work to be with your family now. Thinking of you, and sending you big inadequate weirdy internet hugs. XxX

My deepest sympathies xxxx

I never cry at forum posts but Dee your post just got to me so much.

Then I looked at your lovely picture. Your dad looks like a really, really nice man.

I don't have to imagine the devastation, I know it all too well.

My dad died just before Christmas, dec 21. We had to go through christmas and then have the funeral . Nightmare. But there have been other Christmases and this is as you say your important day and he won't be there and you will still be grieving as from your post I could tell you adored your dad.

You could postpone your wedding. I'm sure under the circumstances that shouldn't be a problem . Even if you dont have wedding insurance It would be a hard hearted bunch that wouldn't let you swing it onto another day perhaps in a couple of months time without you losing out financially.

The day is always going to be sad without your dad, I'm just thinking it won't be so raw.

Its so heartbreaking for you but you will all give each other strength.

Do what's best for you honey. Don't feel you have to be dragged through a wedding you just don't feel ready to cope with just yet.

Theres nothing set in stone and a couple of months maybe even next year might just give you time to get your strength back.

As the years go on, it's nearly 18 now, I miss my dad even more. I'm nearly approaching the age at which he passed away but I still feel like his little girl.

Dont feel pressurised. You do what you feel comfortable with.

Its just reminded me of my mums wedding. My grandfather had passed away in the January and mum got married at the end of March. I asked why she didn't wear a dress like her sisters. She wore a suit. She said it was because her dad had just died. I felt so sad for her. Her photographs are a permanent reminder of that sad day. My mum was a stunner. She looked like one of those film stars of the forties and how she would have done justice to a pretty bridal gown. She was the prettiest one of the sisters by far. The suit she wore just did not do her justice.

Make the best decision for yourself. Love to your mum and your family.

My deepest sympathies to you and your family brave lady xxx