I am in total shock *BT*

Oh gosh! I can see how that would be a shock. I don't really have any advice because there's not really much you can do about it. Wow. I don't know if it helps but I'm pretty sure in your shoes I'd be feeling the same as you.

My 18 year old sister went mad and was crying her eyes out...But when I saw my Mum I just hugged her. I don't know why I reacted like that but I did :/

Oh Hoddy. Like TT I don't really know what to say and can see why a big shock! Do you think her and the boyf will make a go of it?

Yeah...even though two days ago they were talking about breaking up! They are moving into a new place in March and 'starting fresh'.

I don't have any advice, but couldn't pass by and say nowt. I can understand your shock but I think you're great for giving her that hug - getting mad isn't going to solve things so I think you did the right thing x

Yeah I don't want to punish the baby at the end of the day. She smokes heavily as well, I made her promise me today she will quit and she said starting tomorrow. I pray she won't let me or that baby down.

Can imagine what a shock that was.

Good luck to them both, and fingers crossed she stops smoking.

I bet it's a huge shock but it's her and her partners decision - whatever your views on thier relationship may be.

I can understand your shock, I think you did the right thing by just giving her a hug though as I'm sure she needs your support.

I think you did the right thing, I would be shocked too though!

Absolutely this. I guess it may take a while to sink in.

Is she local like you? I'm not working right now, but I could give you the details of the local maternity stop smoking support lady. I have a feeling I know who runs it locally (I worked in Bath so different team). Let me know!

Oh hoddy. I don't know what to say other than to give you a big weirdy Internet hug as I'm sure it was a huge shock to you.

Definitely think you did the right thing in giving her a hug, I can understand you being shocked, this must be a massive shock for her too. Fingers crossed she can give up smoking.

Thanks everyone. Strangely feel slightly better just by writing about it on here.

Yeah she is. She has said she will be using patches so will let you know if that doesn't work. I don't know how safe patches are though when you are pregnant?

Wow, definitely a shock.

I suppose the best thing you can do is just be there for her, support her, especially with the smoking. Encourage her and whatnot.

We're here if you need anything!

My sister stayed with me last night and she's still feeling the same this morning. However we have decided to go round to see her today and take her some flowers and I'm really happy my sister has agreed. Mum will be really happy.

I think we forget mums are human too, sure she was very nervous telling. You so did do the right thing she needs all of your support. Other people will june her enough so to be able to count on her family will do her the world of good. Don't get me wrong I'm sure it was a total shock for you but it seems once the news had time to sink in you was at her side and I'm sure she is so grateful for that. Sending massive hugs to you, you sound like a lovely daughter to have. Xx

That must be a huge shock for you all, but I'm glad you are ok with your mum.

Just to let you know, my friend is a smoking cessation advisor and works mainly with pregnant women. They try to avoid patches where possible because it's better to have short bursts of nicotine like you would get from gum or spray instead of an all day feed, and overall less nicotine would go into the system with the first two replacements. If she can only do it with patches though try to encourage her to go for the lower time ones, rather than the full 24 hours.

Wow! That is some news, no wonder you're shocked. Sounds like she may be as shocked as you are though.

I remember being so angry with my sister when she fell with her 3rd child (when he/she is born imminently, they'll have 5 between them), but now I am super excited.

Wow, I would be shocked too, but I think you're handling it really well

I would be shocked too. I think you have handled it really well.

It must be tough feeling like the responsible one!

Story of my life! Her actions have lead to me growing up faster than most other people but I'm glad I am who I am today really.

Yup. I'd have said the same!

At the end of the day, it's 'clean' nicotine so if you can't abstain from nicotine altogether then it's better than getting it + the crap in cigarettes. Try and encourage her to stay quit too - so many health problems for babies whose parents smoke. And I don't mean just around them, but from their hands, clothes, breath etc.

Jeez. I can't imagine what you're feeling but well done for being there to support your mum - you're a star.