i could cry :( what would you do?

I think your baby has to be your priority.

your wedding should be the day of your dreams, so for now, I would put all your effort into having another healthy, happy baby and think about getting married later.

First off- congrats!!!!

Only you know whether having a baby and getting married is going to be right for you. Personally I would probably postpone for a couple of I could years so we could save, plus I wouldn't want a young baby/toddler to worry about on my wedding day!

Firstly, congratulations on the pregnancy!

Secondly, would changing your venue really be settling? After all, you're getting married to bond your family aren't you? To secure the relationship between you and your OH, for lack of a better word. So, does it really honestly matter where you hold your evening reception?

I know you had your heart set on a venue, but would changing it really be the be all and end all?

Congratulations.

Only you know what is ideal for you.

This.

What would I do?

What I did... get married in a register office. Was only interested in being married, not all the extras, so that's what we did.

I think im panicking a bit too about the whole pregnancy thing...

2's not too difficult, ive got 2 hands.. but im scared of having 3.
I havent even told my OH yet, he's at work, i dont want to be the cause of him having a breakdown at his desk :-/

I disagree with the comment above. Have the wedding you want and if you have to postpone, so be it. We got engaged in April 2011 when I was a few weeks pregnant. We wanted to wait until the baby was born so we could enjoy the wedding to it's full. We purposely waited until 6 months plus after the birth so I would have time to get into shape! Our son is now 7 months and we are getting married next month. I just wish he'd take a bottle!!

I'm 50/50 on the comments above. One side of me agrees with the fact that getting married is the thing that's important, not the fluff that goes around it, but the other part thinks that you only get to do this once, so why shouldn't it be the most amazing day possible? Only you know what's right. I think you need to let this news sink in for a few days before making any decisions with your OH.

PS congratulations!

x

Hitched ate my reply! grr!

basicly, congratulations!

I'd leave the church booked, wait until you've had the baby then re asses what you want to do,.

A better venue may have opened up or your ideas for your ideal wedding may have changed. You've got 2 years to plan so give it 12 months then make a decision x

Hi hun. I think don't even think about the wedding at the mo. Tell your man about the baby today, leave it a few weeks for the baby news to sink in. THEN think about what to do about the wedding. Two big things like that to think about is too much on 1 day. Best of luck xx

Congratulations about the baby, but from what youve said you dont seem particularly overjoyed about the prospect of being pregnant so i would say you need to come to terms with it and decide what your going to about it first, let it all sink in and then make your decisions when you know how you 100% feel about your situation, to be honest a wedding can always wait, a baby will always take 9 months to come, so maybe put your wedding back for a few years and save up to have the day you want. xx xx

Blimey I don't think you realise quite how lucky you are!

It's probably just shock talking but there are probably quite a few people on this website including myself who would love to be pregnant.

If it was a trade off of a big flashy wedding or a baby I know which I'd rather have.

*creepy cyber hugs* (!) I just think that you should concentrate on the baby for the next few weeks. Speak to OH, speak to friends, try and make a rational decision on having another baby- was it a bit of an accident. As for the wedding, the church can stay booked for the time being and you still have plenty of time to work out whether you want/can feesibly keep the same date.

Don't feel pressurised into making any baby/wedding decisions, it is completely your call.

Good luck with everything xxx

Of course this is true that there are many people who would love to be pregnant, but that doesn't mean that it always comes as fantastic news to everybody, especially when it's unexpected. Personally, I'd be horrified! Maybe that makes me a bad person but I don't "do" kids and never intend to! Each to their own.

I know i'm Lucky & blessed, but im in shock. This baby wasnt planned, its come completely out of the blue.
My heads all over the place, ive got mixed feelings.

I appologise if ive offended you with my post x

WSS you are lucky to be having a child, that should be your focus. Count your blessings angd get your priorities right.

I think thats a little harsh... the OP clearly knows what a blessing it is to have children, as she already has 2. She is in shock, and her whole world has jus been thrown into disarray.

Agree! She is in shock and needs support. Her concern does not reflect her views on anyone elses situation. I don't think as a supportive community we should be adding to her stressful day (which I am sure no one intended) x

Major whoops...meant 'shouldn't'!

Right I am officially going mad, I agree with my first 'should'

Its ok, I should have thought really before posting, i do sound a bit insensitive.

I think im just in shock... it wasnt planned, im scared.

OH has come home & we have decided to postpone the wedding for now anyway xx

I think you are doing the right thing hun, you can give your new baby a great start in life and have another little flowergirl or pageboy at the wedding

One of my friends got married at a registry office with just her family, then two years later they had a big wedding party. She did it for other reasons but just something to think about if you want to be married now but still have a wedding.

Congrats on the baby Let that settle in before making big decisions!

I wholly agree with this.

I'm pretty sure the OP knows how blessed she is to be pregnant, but she should not be made to feel bad about being shocked by it, especially if it's not her plan and she has no intention of having any more children.

Everybody's situations are relative and what may be good to one person, may be viewed differently by another and people should respect that.

ETA to the OP, you should in no way apologise for your post. You're in shock and you were asking for opinions and advice. I hope that whatever decisions you make work out well for you...take your time and consider everything carefully with your OH.

I also agree with this.

I would not be beating yourself up about upsetting them if anything they should be sayign sorry for upsetting you. x

OP, please DO NOT apologise, you have no need to.

Some people are just over sensitive.

If you don't want the baby then don't have it ? Don't talk like its one or the other, there are choices aplenty.

Edit- can see you have sorted with your oh, if for you the baby is more important than the wedding for the two of you then it sounds like the best plan.

What ER said. Take some time to get used to the idea and then decide what you want to do.

Thankyou everybody I appreciate the responses xx

Pinkfrost I didn't mean it to come across as a critism of your post and you don't need to apologise, but you are very lucky indeed and I wish you all the best for your pregnancy and hope you can be very excited once it has sunk in.

I am picking up on you worries about being a mum of three, I remember feeling the same way when I discovered I was pregnant with my third (all under 5) but it does all fall into place, I found the trick was to foster close relationships between the children that way thay help you by looking out for each other. I went on to have number four and wouldn't change a thing. The Wedding will happen when your ready, in the meantime you could always book the church for a christing. lol One day at a time and it will be fine. x

I think what I would do is get married in a register office soonish with a pretty dress before my figure went totally, then have the baby and maybe have a lovely church blessing on my 5th anniversary when the baby's older and (in theory) I might have some free cash to have the wedding I'd dreamt of

WSS. Everyobody's lives and circumstances are different therefore a "surprise" pregnancy to some would be a delight but to others a disaster. I don't think we should judge.

OP i agree with a number of other hitchers that you should allow yourself time to get use to the idea of being pregnant again and delay any decisions about the wedding for a little while. hope you work it all out x