I dare you to confess.....

I do this too! It's called a well seasoned cup! :-)

For the people who pee in the shower... why don't you just go to the loo BEFORE you get in the shower?

I have one, and it's pretty grim actually...

Yeeeears ago, I went out with a couple of mates. I hadn't eaten much and had drunk a LOT, shots, beer, cider, wine, shorts.. As soon as we got into the club, I had to rush to the loo because I needed to be sick. All the toilets were full, so I threw up in the sink. I was in there for, no word of a lie, 2 hours (!!!!) being sick. I started off at the first sink and proceeded to each other sink, until every one of them was full of sick. It gets worse.... I was throwing up so violently that, at the same time as chucking my guts up, I was farting!!! I had lost complete control of my entire body.

My awesome friend stayed the entire time with me, holding my hair and rubbing my back. ❤️ That's true friendship.

I'm so ashamed, we've never spoke of that night again haha.

One of the earliest memories I have is accidentally pooing in the bath and then wrapping it up in my eldest sister's flannel? I must have been around two to three. I don't remember getting told off for it, all I remember is waiting for soemone to mention it and no-one did. So I assume my sister must have thought it was one of my other sibliongs doign somethign nasty to ehr as opposed to her younegst sibling just being odd.

This, Is. BRILLIANT! ?

Ali G that is one of the best stories I've ever heard! Was there not a toilet attendant telling you off?

Although I feel your pain with the vom/fart situation. I was really ill once, made it to the loo to vom, but sh*t my pants at the same time. not a pretty sight. Atleast I was at home I suppose.

Ali that is absolutely hilarious.

I first farted in front of mrmini whilst being sick from wine. It reverberated on the tiled bathroom floor whilst I heaved. Lovingly he just rubbed my back and said ' I will pretend I didn't hear that'

There was an attendant but she was really lovely. She was handing my friend paper towels! I'm pretty sure at one stage she even tried to unblock the sinks. I don't really remember how I left the club, but I'm almost certain it included 2 bouncers and an ice-cream tub for a sick bowl.

?hahahahaha this thread has made me laugh

This is the best thread EVER! I can't think of anything worthy of writing right now, but I have to say you people are hilarious!

I did this too!! (when I was young I hasten to add!!) ?

The night I met OH I got so drunk (this was entirely his fault, obviously) I was sick in his bin. There were many other shameful things about that night but I can't talk about them.

Also, the night I met my ex, I vomited in his sink. I'm spotting a pattern here!

Oooh mee gawdd.. im so loving this thread ?.. i cant think of anything right now- im chuckling away to myself with oh looking odd at me ?

I can't get Taylor Swift's new song out of my head ???????????????????????????

On the subject of peeing...

Whilst very drunk I met a lovely man and went home with him. Some point later that night I found myself in the wardrobe having just wee'd on his shoes. I was so drunk I must have thought it was the toilet.

I grabbed my clothes and very quietly went home without waking him - funnily enough he never called me.

I was expecting so much worse from you!

Just read this entire thread SO funny. HatTrick, yours are so funny! And peeing in the shower?! H does it and I hate it. Especially when we shower together, he just goes quiet and swears it isnt him peeing!!

I have 2 -

The first Valentines day that we were together, Stu went all out and took me to a gorgeous restaurant. The meal cost £120 - 3 fantastic courses, plus wine, champagne and a couple of vodkas as a night cap. It was deeeeelish! When we got home, I popped upstairs and "slipped into something more comfortable"..... half an hour later, we were getting jiggy, and the motion made me feel sick. I couldnt hold it in, I couldnt speak to tell him to get off as it was in my mouth, so I just turned my head to the side and puked......................... End of romantic evening!

The other one isnt as bad - When i do the washing, I chuck out anything of Stus that I dont particularly like. He occasionally says "wheres my jumper/tshirt" or whatever, and I just deny all knowledge.

Me too, I was about to say I can't believe you don't have a worse story than that! ?

I once needed a pair of biggish white knickers to go umder a skirt. While shopping for them I was too embarrassed to go to the till with them as I was with an ex and his mate so I stole them. From TKMAXX. THE SHAME!!!!!

Me? A worse story than that? I don't know what you mean!

OK - here's a couple I can think of.....

Out on my mum's friend's Hen Night (when I was about 17 - clubbing with my mum is not the coolest thing I've done!) I bumped into my FB. We said hi, had a snog, disappeared outside, did what we went to do and said goodbye (as we did most weeks). My mum asked where 'd been. "eeeerrrrrmmmm. Just chatting to one of my friends". Later, I noticed the carpark scratches on my arm, and the grass in my hair.

I always pee in the shower, even when sharing

When I broke up with my ex, I slept with 3 of his mates (and married one)

Slept with 2 guys in one day (over a 24 hour period)

Another random encounter with an FB - went outside, dtd, came back in, snogged another guy, who also wanted me to 'go outside' (I said no, my mum was about to pick me up)

Oh God, I'm such a slut! Ha!

That's more like it Mrs Whilpy. Knew you were a dirrrrrty cow ??

And Little Pixie can you imagine if your been caught nicking them?!?!

*takes a bow!*

New around these parts but thought I would jump straight in.

- At a friend's 18th birthday party I was so drunk and unable to control my bodily functions that I wet myself while waiting to get in the loo. And i didn't even care. My friend just stood next to me while I did it (it was a big wee), pulled my tights off and threw them in a sanitary bin then called my bf to come and take me home. He still doesn't know why I returned with no tights. My friend has never mentioned this night again.

- While at uni my OH drove (2 and a half hours) to come and pick me up one Friday night. I had been working during the day, and then went out with my work friends and was drinking from about 1pm to midnight. After picking me up we started the drive back home. I was sick out of the window pretty much all the way home. We pulled over to get petrol and while he was inside paying, I somehow opened the car door, fell out onto the forecourt and proceeded to throw up while rocking back and forth on all fours.

I am dead classy me

Excellent.

thats the type of person we like around here!

Haha, I just remembered another one.

It was my ex's Christmas party, and he worked for a big corporation. All the big wigs were there and they were buying champagne & wine. Of course, I was drinking it like it was water. The function ended and I was preeeetty hammered. The party was local, so we walked home. Only, we didn't get very far... As soon as we left the building, the alcohol hit me like a brick wall. I fell over, right in front of the boss' car... and then refused to get up because I'd convinced myself I was in bed, and my bloke's jacket was the duvet. It took two of them to pick me up and throw me into the boss' car, so he could drive us back to my ex's house (as I obviously wasn't capable of walking).

Needless to say, the next couple of functions I went to, I drove so I couldn't drink!

Glad to hear it Flow. The being sick under the rug made me snort into my cup of tea.

I had a 'friend' when I was about 18 who went to the college next door to my school/sixth form. I would go round his halls during lunch and do rude things. One time he 'finished' near my face and it hit me in the eye. That afternoon my drama teacher sent me to the office to go home as she thought I was getting conjunctivitis.

You sure know how to make an entrance Hollies!! Love it!

Liking this new lady.

I have never really had any major incidents with bodily functions when drunk, always manage to make it to a toilet, one of my friends however has issues on a regular basis.

When we were about 19 and in our first full time jobs from college 2 friends and I went out to dinner one night at a local Hungry Horse type place. I went to the toilet and whilst I was gone my friends proceeded to fill my empty lunch box with the contents of the ashtray and put loads of sauces, cutlery etc in my handbag. I came back to them giggling so knew they were up to something and when I looked in my bag and discovered it we all started laughing and I started to remove everything and put it back on the table.

When I found the new contents of my lunch box one of my friends started laughing so much it sent all of us in to a fit of giggles and she started telling us to stop laughing as she needed the loo and might wet herself. This of course made us laugh even more and she then announced that a little bit of wee had come out, which meant more laughter, she then says oh no a little bit more has come out and then said 'Oh f*ck it' and just sat in the chair and wet herself ! It was literally cascading over the side of the chair !! Fortunately we were in a part of the pub that no one else was sat in but we were upstairs. We tried to use menus to soak it up as we had no napkins but of course as they are laminated they were useless. When she stood up her tights were soaked and it was all dripping off the bottom of her skirt so we had to walk her downstairs with me and my other friend in front and behind her really closely and then run out of the pub to the car without even paying our bill !

What made it even funnier to us at the time was that some of our other friends were altogether at one of their houses so we drove round their to tell them what happened still laughing hysterically and when we finished the story they looked at us like were something they had trodden in and told us we were disgusting !!

Niche, i just snorted, again.

I also once ate a curly fry my friend has just vomitted back up. In my defence, I didn't know.