I don't like my new assistant - WWYD?

Just let your natural ridiculously anal exacting personality come to the fore - I'm sure it won't be long before she loses the will to live and resigns. ?

?

Lili, what about giving her an exact script for answering the phone. Good morning, X company, X speaking, how may I help? etc.

Ask her why she is unable to attend social stuff, and explain that it's important and why. Give her a target of attending X number of lunches and x number of nights out a month. Remind her that this was brought up at interview.

Does she do the job well, but her manner is offputting? To be fair, there's not a lot you can do about your personality...

Surely she doesn't have to eat her lunches with the rest of you? Or socialise if she doesn't want to, unless its actually work in which case its not socialising its work.

If she's not doing things properly, you need to look at something she didn't do correctly and ask her to take you through how to do it right.

To be honest, you can't tip toe round things, if she's not doing it right then you must tell her. But step back first and ask if its just that she does it differently to you.

Nooo - I don't want her to resign, I want her to sort herself out - in 5 years no one has ever left here, because we're all so nice and lovely ?

I'll have her job. I'm very good at eating, drinking and talking on the phone ?

Hmm. I think you need to be very professional here. If I were you, I would be looking closely at her job description and going through it item by item, to see where she does/doesn't perform against the specific requirements. If there are things she is not delivering on, then perhaps you can come up with an improvement plan, to help her a) identify where she's falling short of expectations and b) things she can do to get up to scratch. This needs to be done in a kindly, encouraging but firm way, with timescales for review so you can see if theings have improved.

On the lunch front, I don't see why she should go and eat with you - if she has food issues, as you put it, I'm not at all surprised she's avoiding this. Maybe she feels emabarrassed and shy about being expected to be on a social footing with you all. I don't got out to lunches or social dos with any of my team .....

Ditto for the evening stuff - if she is expected to be going out with you all for work reasons, then you can be firm and say this is part of her job (is it in her job description?). If it isn't part of her job, then she's quit within her rights not to go out with you. Perhaps she has a life outside work (sorry, that's isn't mean to sound as blunt as it looks, but you know what I mean!).

When you had the first informal review with her, did you ask her how she felt about things? What did she say?

I feel for you actually. I have to remember every day that you can't assume anything is common sense and EVERYTHING is a training issue. Regarding her telephone manner, there are courses out there that specialise in this. Or oyu can tell her to be more upbeat, surely? I am sure if you offer to do some role playing with her to help her out she will buck her ideas up. ?

I am really worried about recruiting later in the year. The person who works for us currently I get on really well with, I am soooo worried I will end up employing someone I hate next and spend ages working out how to sack them,

L
xx

If she does the job ok, then I think you're letting how you feel about her personally cloud your judgement. As for after work things, if it's not essential it doesn't matter if it's the done thing or not, she doesn't have to attend. She may have things going on outside of work that take priority, not everyone lives to work, after all.

Re: the concert ticket, it's perfectly possible that plans have been made for her mum's birthday after she agreed to have the ticket. You can sort the phone thing by maybe offering some outside training.

Is the bonding weekend compulsory, because if it's not you can't make it make or break anything I'm afraid. You've admitted that you're anal, but it's a little unreasonable to expect that from others.

you're her boss. you really need to use the next review to talk through with her the things that she isn't doing well but can improve on. i can understand that none of "you" had training and were flung in at the deep end, but it could be that she's completely overwhelmed with starting a new job and with having no idea if she's doing right or wrong, she's doing nothing for fear of doing it wrong.

giving her a phone script, even if it is just clarifying the standard answering format, could help so that she knows what points need to be covered in a phone call.

you really do need to tell her what is expected of her, whether it is the standard or level of output. if you haven't told her this, then she could be floundering in not knowing what she is meant to do. this can be even worse if you aren't giving her all the work you should be delegating.

in terms of the social side of things, maybe she feels like an outsider? if everyone in the office has been there for a long period of time, then maybe she is finding it difficult to "break in" and join you - almost like she's not part of the gang?

7 weeks really isn't a huge length of time in a new job to be completely au fait with every aspect, so i'd be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt really.

sorry if this is all harsh, it's just when i started my current job, i was pretty much flung in at the deep end with no idea what i was expected to do.

i'd just see this next review/catch up as a chance to make it clear what standards/outputs/involvement is expected and talk through work examples with her, showing what she needs to do. sometimes you need to spoon feed at the start.

however, if it's all too much and she really just doesn't fit in, then maybe it's time to talk to her about how she feels she is getting on in the team/with work and see if she is comfortable working with you. who knows - she may quit and make it easy on you!

Your final comment made me laugh, L'il!

Seriously, tho, you don't answer my question about how she viewed her performance and whether she was enjoying the new job. This could give you some clues as to whether she has any self-awareness of how what she does impacts on the rest of the office. Also, if the social elements you refer to are specified in her job description, then you have some leverage to insist she complies with the detail. And maybe think about how you deal with incidents as they arise. Eg, you said she accepted some tickets then backed out at hte last minute. I think you need to be saying something along the lines of .... "this is disappointing, Frannie. You said you could make the date and accepted the tickets, which could have been used by someone else, and now we are left with them at short notice. I'm sure you knew it was your mum's birthday - did you not think about this when accepting the tickets? This is a good example of why planning and thinking ahead is important in this role blah blah ..."

What does her contract say about evening/lunch client meetings?

If it's in her job description then she needs to attend.

From what you say, it sounds like she's a bad fit in your office and has a very dour personality - not great for a job requiring media networking...

I had been with my current job a few months when my boss decided to give me into trouble for my attitude and to be honest i never really noticed it was that bad! As soon as she mentioned problems, I rectified it immediatly and I was mortifed that she had to talk to me about it. I've now been with the company 6 years with no further problems, so maybe she just doesn't realise what she is doing.

As for the soicalising...I think you need to check whether this was made clear in the interview and contract.

This is a really difficult one but I understand that you can't be babysitting this person for much longer and she needs to stand on her own two feet.

The only thing I can see that can be helped in a practical sense is that her telephoning skills are a problem. (and if it's as bad as you say then I think it's a big problem. First impressions and all that...) I agree with giving her a script. If I were in your position I might also take her aside and do a bit of roleplaying with her. As she's not 'listening' to the advice you've given her, a demonstration might be better.i.e. She is the client and you are her - answering the phone as she does. Then comparing this with you answering the phone as you want her to and her being the client. I know you said that she's had training but whatever has happened in the past hasn't worked. She might respond better to you. The following site is a little off the mark as it's really for language students but it might give you some ideas with how to help her. https://www.thoughtco.com/telephone-english-practice-exercises-1210233

The other thing I noticed you saying is that she doesn't fit in because she doesn't go to lunch and seems always to be having Slim Fast. Well, it might be a bit obvious but it sounds like she's on a diet and avoiding places where she might be tempted to wreck it. I wouldn't read anything else into that. It doesn't sound like it's personal.

You're a small group and are all really friendly with each other. Apart from offering her lunch opportunities, have you spoken to her about anything outside of the workplace? I know you are her boss and have a position to maintain but you can afford to engage her in informal chit chat about her outside interests, past etc without losing respect. You might be simply scaring her half to death and she might already have an idea about your dislike of her which will just make it worse and you and your other collegues all the more intimidating.

You can do a lot to turn that around with how/what you talk to her (about) and then she might feel confident enough to accept your offers of lunches which seem to be an important factor in your workplace. (Regardless of a diet) I know it's not absolutely necessary for the job but it obviously goes a long way to explaining the good morale you've got. If you can get to know her a bit better, you'll be better able to judge how best to manage her and get a better response from her. Whatever you've been doing in order to help her hasn't been working with this particular person so if I was in your position, this is what I'd be trying to do.

I do sympathise with you, though. After seven weeks I might have expected her to settle in and get on with it but you can't get rid so you can only try and improve. You never know, you might be surprised at the response you get.

Oh, I might also give her a check list of the things she needs to, well, check. Actually, I'd get her to write it. It might sink in a bit more if she does it herself and you should give her a bit of praise when it's due. Even if you have to look very, very hard to spot the good stuff. Not in a patronising way though.

I know this all sounds very 'classroom' but they work so why not give it a go?

I hope it gets better soon.

I understand where you are coming from. I work in media too and the socialising is a big part of the job and it does take up a lot of time. This was made crystal clear to me though when I began my career, so you need to ensure that you emphasised it enough at interview and, if not, you need to re-emphasise it at her review. Perhaps couch it in terms that this is a compulsory part of the job, and if she is uncomfortable with it then maybe this isn't the right career for her?

As far as her performance goes, you need to make a note of everything she isn't doing right and tackle it straight on at her review. It's boring and laborious, but part of being a manager and the only way of dealing with it. You should also pick her up at the time, when she does something wrong. For example, if she answers the phone incorrectly after the call ends you should ask her how she thinks it went, and discuss it from there. That way it gets reinforced.

If you tiptoe around it she might think she is doing okay, and not realise there is a problem. And that is unfair.

I would also echo what the others have said about making sure she isn't overwhelmed by the existing office 'clique'. Where I work it is quite a small team and we are all very friendly and very close; many of us are related and we all travel together quite a bit. I know that sometimes to new staff, temps etc it can be very intimidating. We have to make massive efforts to be as welcoming as possible. This includes trying to make sure everyone is aware of in-jokes, that we don't continually reference things that happened before people joined the company, that sort of thing. Perhaps take a step back and make sure there are no barriers to her feeling part of the team.

HTH ?

Lili, your new ultra-tiny font is giving me a migraine. ?

I too had a nightmare of an assistant, who luckily was only on a 6 month contract, but I found it very hard to tackle certain issues with her as I hadn't experienced them myself or been trained/given guidance on how to do it properly. This meant that when I did speak to her (we didn't get on either as she was very moody - also picked up on by everyone else around us) she actually shouted and swore at me!

Her main problems were being giggly and over familiar on the phone to customers; not completing tasks to a suitable standard - and one she should have easily met as she'd done a similar role before and not keeping up with her workload or prioritising correctly.

Despite being told about her phone manner she didn't improve so I removed her customer responsibility from her, I reviewed in detail one task and she basically disagreed with me all the way through and then said she had more experience - errr 1 year vs 5 years, no - and never learnt to prioritise properly.

She left when the 6 months were up and I was then critised for speaking to a few people in the office about her - they'd complained to me about various issues and I was feeding back and also asking for advice which wasn't forthcoming from my boss - so tread carefully with your actions and make sure reviews are documented.

Team bonding weekend. that sounds my idea of sheer hell

thank everything thats holy the biggest freebie i've had all year is a pencil that says 'no to knives' on it ?

I've been trying to reply here and there all afternoon but haven't had a chance to actually post hence why I need her up to speed so I can get back to Hitching...

I think Zebra has summed up perfectly what I've been thinking, sadly.

At her first review she was quite negative in regards to how she'd been doing, she made a few comments that concerned me - just little things that reinforced my opinion that maybe she has 'issues'. I spent a lot of the review going over how pleased we were with the first few weeks and how we were impressed with what she had picked up so far. I asked her how she felt about the job and she said she was enjoying it but since then other people (clients etc.) have asked and her response has been more along the lines of "it's ok" which fair enough you might say to a friend but surely in front of clients and colleagues you'd be a bit more enthusiastic?

OK, what is going on with this font? How can I have 2 font sizes when I haven't made any changes?!!!!!!