I feel very guilty now....

And I have three to go to this year as well as my own...

I do agree it's a lot of money, but then I also think that weddings are happy occasions and it's really enjoyable to attend them and have a day out, get dressed up etc. I sometimes find it a bit off when guests constantly moan about how much it's costing them - I think if it's really stinging you that much, don't go! Plus most weddings are planned far enough in advance nowadays that it gives people more than enough notice to prepare. (this is obviously within reason...I would agree if the bride and groom were insisting unreasonable things etc, but often this isn't the case and people moan whatever the style of wedding)

Sometimes it almost seems like the guests are begrudging the couple's choices for their wedding because it's inconveniencing them...however maybe my opinion is a little warped because I am getting married in just over 2 months so I am seeing it from a different point of view! ?

Thing is yes it is expensive sometime to goto weddings but dont u find it changes depending on whos wedding it is?? for eg

my bro in law getting married in 2012 gonna spend a small fortune plus there will be at least 50 - 100 on a pressie

My hubbys mate is getting married in December and yes we do all get on but but i will only spend 20-30 on the pressie and the out fits wont be as much

Do i make n e sense lol i think people spend according to the relations to the couple so if they surveyed a lot of people who has close reletives/ friends getting married then it will be a lot

xx

My wedding is costing people a fortune! We're getting married abroad. We invited people if they wanted to make it their summer holiday, and we're also having a party when we get back for the people that didn't make it. For the abroad bit we're paying for everything on the day, all food and all drinks and transport etc. We've bought everything for our bridal party so hopefully it won't be too much for them.

Yep! It's not just costly for the bride and groom.

When our bext mates got married in 2008, it cost me and D about £1000 all together - stag/hen dos, hotels, outfits, hair, presents, drinks... soon mounts up!

I dont feel a bit guilty...i think people got too used to everything getting sooo used to having everything paid for them at a wedding. The way i look at it is i can have more guests if I let them pay for drinks etc themselves.

Very interesting article. Keeping costs down for our guests was a factor in deciding some of the things about our day and so have decided to lay on transport between the service and reception for our guests. We're also providing all of the alcohol and soft drinks for people so that once they are at our wedding, it won't cost them anything (except maybe for taxis home).

I've been to some weddings where I've spent a fortune and others where's it's been very cheap. To be honest, I love the variety of the weddings, even though my bank balance doesn't always!

Yeah, we're having our's in London as that's where OH's family are and the vast bulk of our friends - I have a big problem with weddings abroad. I've spent hundreds getting to people's weddings before, whereas for the bulk of our guests they're just going to need a travelcard! Also for the hen I'm doing a night out in London as that's where my friends are. A couple of years ago me and OH were very strapped for cash and I had to pay out for a hen weekend away, and I didn't want to put any of my mates in that position.

We debated a London wedding. Our lives are here although our families live elsewhere. In the end we decided to have it nearer the place we'd like to live when we're grown up and married!

Where are you getting married?

Did u get post today?

I am going to a wedding in London and it isn't cheap. Accomodation, present and outfits add up to over £1000 ? Cheaper than going abroad though! I expect your guests are pleased with you Cricketbride for deciding against London.

As an old fart I have no more friends left to be married, so looks like i'm going to be waiting helluva long time until my next one.....

A lot of the people we're intending on inviting live and work in London but seem to have family out towards where we're marrying. It's worked out quite nicely in some ways - the friends who have plenty of money are the ones having to travel and those on a tighter budget are closest to the venue!

I know it's a huge generalisation and you can never really know people's financial circumstances but I'm pleased it seems to be that way round than the other!

Ideally I'll win the Euromillions in the meantime and will pay for them all! ?

I also do not feel guilty, we are providing transport for all our guests costing us a fortune, and each guest will have at least 4 drinks paid for them, plus a 3 course meal and an eveing bbq,

not guilty in the slightest,

Im not having a free bar or 3 course meal but i dont feel gulity either, were planning the wedding day 30 miles away from us which means 30 miles closer for them all, there are loads of cheap hotels and b&bs round here and weddings in our family have always been the same, nothing flashy just a good 'ol knees up! not too sure h2bs family will like it tho as they live all around the uk and are used to weddings on a much larger scale but im pretty confident that they will just be happy for us and not think about much else and pretty sure they wouldnt want us to get into debt for them!lolx

It just depends where you're from doesn't it - a few of our guests are going to have to travel, but the bulk will be able to get home that same night, plus it's close to public transport and it's all in the same venue, so they don't need to get between two areas and no one has to drive ?

CricketBride - I'm getting married in the trafalgar tavern in greenwich.

A fab place, BSB! Food is excellent there. I've not been to Greenwich in a while, must rectify that!

Ooh! I love the Trafalgar Tavern. Great choice of venue. In fact, i love Greenwich full stop.

Oh thanks JG and cricket bride! You're the first people in quite a while who've been nice about it! ?

Sod what everyone else thinks, clearly it's just you, me and Jumbly with good taste ?

Here here ?

I also love the Trafalgar!

In fact I have some very fond memories there. OH and I used to go there a lot in the summer when we were first going out ?

Yay! This is like the Trafalgar fan group ?

So are you three or 'The Trafalgar Tavern Fan Club' as I shall now call you, all London based/brides?

Haha, you're all lovely. It was just the fact that OH's brother and sister-in-law went down there for drinks, and asked to see upstairs (which I was a bit annoyed about) and then didn't say anything about it, which made me feel a bit squirmy.

JG - remind me where you're getting hitched again?

I'm London-based for work (lived here for 6 years), will be splitting my time between London/Hampshire post-wedding, but getting married at home on the west coast of Scotland.... In just a week and four days and an hour I'll be throwing one final hissy fit at my parents and anyone else in the firing line ?

Cricket Bride - I am - I live in Islington. JG - any progress on the week-time flat yet?

I'm actually a Kent bride, but I know the Greenwich/Blackheath areas pretty well and also I work in Canary Wharf which isn't too far.

Aw thanks for remembering! I've just handed in my notice at my place in West Hampstead and am planning on moving in with my Chief Dress Advisor and her husband (in Tulse Hill) after I come back from honeymoon. Not sure whether to make it permanent or not (she's offered but it's been 11 years since we last lived together and she's since got married and had kids), so I think I'll test the water before making a decision. I can also use it as a base to find somewhere when I come back. But I'm really pleased because it means that the stress of finding a new place to live has been postponed till after the wedding!

JG, you're not too far from me at the moment. We're in Maida Vale.

Oh that's great! Great to be sorted at least temporarily, and hopefully something'll come up soon.

Oooh BSB - you're over 1,000 posts now! Woo hoo!