I just want to cry :(

Keep calm Don't let it bog you down.

1) Transport - is he going to fix it now? If not, can you? Look, worst comes to worse, a taxi! As long as you get there and marry the man you love, who cares how you got there?

2) Family invites - Hmmm. It sounds like he could have been trying to protect you - does he intend to give them the invites now? Do you know what sh!t the wife has been giving him about the wedding?

That's awful, did you have any idea there was a problem with your Dad's wife? It's a stupid thing for him to do and IMO he needs to be the one to go to these people and explain what he's done. Hopefully they'll still be able to come but if not are there people you've only invited to the evening that you'd like to upgrade?

As for transport, if there's money there for it then start ringing/emailing to see if you can get a late deal and if not then see if you can book with a local taxi firm, explain your situation and they might be able to make it a bit more special for you.

I hope you've told your Dad how upsetting it is and he's suitably apologetic and grovelling!

Well with transport it was always in my dads hands as he is in the car buisness and i knew he would be able to come up with something and I would of been more than happy for him to put some ribbon on his car and for him to drive me to the church (he has a beautiful bentley) but he said he wanted to arrange somthing abit special for me so i left him too it. If it comes to it though a taxi would be fine with me hehe

He hadnt even shown his wife the invite for them and i really really dont understand that at all. Iv text him to ask what sh*t she has been giving and for what reason as I cant think of any reason at all for it

They have been together since i was 6 and she has never liked me, i was never a naughty child but she just disliked me she used to refer to me as 'that child' and every sunday when i would return to my mums from a weekend at my dads id be in floods of tears over the way she had treated me. As iv grown up she has managed to drive me and my dad apart to the point where he rings me in secret and sees me in secret. I cant think of any reason for her to give him *** about the wedding

Sounds like it might be better for you if she wasn't at your wedding!! Could your Dad just come on his own? Are you close enough to her family to just call them and explain that there's been a bit of a problem with their invites and verbally invite them?

I didnt want to invite her at all but I knew that would cause big problems as they have 2 children together my brother who is 14 and my sister who is 12 and they are an usher and a bridesmaid and i didnt want them aware of the problem or to cause arguments between their mum and our dad so to keep the peace i invited her and her family. Im just going to leave it up to my dad to give the invites out (or not) Im not too fussed if they attend or not the main worry is my dad and the greif he is getting could put a damper on our big day I cant even call my dad to talk to him until tuesdayu when I know he will be at work and will be able to talk to me. he text me to say sorry about hiding the invites and it was a case of him having to keep everyone happy he said he doesnt expect me to fully understand so i will have to bear with him!

Sound like a bit of a complicated situation. It sounds like your Dad should have stood up to her a long long time ago about the importance of having a good relationship with his child (you!) but she's got away with calling the shots for so long he's dug himself into a real hole. I know you must feel bad for him but try to remember that he's an adult and he's brought this on himself by not making clear to his wife years ago that you are his child and will always be part of his life whether she likes it or not.

By the sounds of it she's not stopped you having a relationship with your brother and sister and hopefully she will be able to act like a grown up for their sakes, would they be OK going to the wedding without their Mum?

One other thought - if your Dad hasn't even given her and her family their invites do they even know you've invited them? It may help to heal the rift for them to know you want them there (sort of?)!

Hats of to you I think you have dealt with this situation absolutely faultless! Considerate, kind & selfless. Do you take after you after your mother by any chance?

Other than for your dad's sake I can't imagine why you'd want her there let alone have all her family there?!

Tell your dad to come on his own if she's kicking up a fuss. Selfish moo.

While I can sympathise (I also have a "wicked stepmother"), I think both you and your dad need to put your foot down. You need to put your foot down with your dad - why on earth is he being bullied into having no contact with you? He needs to stand up for you - he's your dad, you're his daughter not some dirty secret! I know it's easier to blame your stepmum but actually he needs to take some of the responsibility. He needs to put his foot down with his wife. A relationship with his daughter is non-negotiable.

It's all very being "considerate" and "selfless", but you need to look out for yourself first! Your stepmum didn't set up this dynamic by herself - you and your dad allowed it to happen. That sounds harsh but actually it makes the situation simpler (if not easier) - you have some power here.

As an evil stepmother myself there is no way that any father should allow his daughter to be treated in this way. Likewise why on earth did your mum not intervene if you came home every weekend in tears. My step kids mum is all too fond of getting on the phone and shouting the odds at me if I ever tell one of her babies off!

Back to the present situation though, transport can be sorted, even at this late stage.contcat all local companies and explain the situation to them, you may find they can do you a good deal even at short notice. Failing that put some feelers out on Facebook to see if anyone knows of a nice car you can borrow, friends of friends would probably be very keen to help if they knew the situation.

Las for your stepmom the best thing you can do is invite her and smile politely and sweetly at her all day. Don't let her take your happiness and have control over your wedding. She can only do that if you allow her too.

What a lovely thing to say, id like to think I take after my mother because shes wonderful

MARY- I agree he should of stood up to her along time ago! I dont have much of a relationship with my brother and sister but now they are older and have there own phones I have been in contact with them, I think they would be okay going to the wedding without her but its the arguments it will cause between my dad and her if i dont invite her that i dont want because its not fair on them.

MRSH2014- I dont want her family there i only invited them so she wasnt sat on her own and so she felt more comfortable being at the wedding by having her family there. wish i hadnt bothered now

LOMMEL- I agree about standing up to my dad and iv asked him if he can ring me or come over to talk about the reasons why shes kicking off and what her problems are so ill have to wait untill shes not around for the call or visit!! That last bit of your post has really made me look at this at a differant angle, up to now i have just let it happen and pussyfooted around her trying my hardest to not piss her off even to the extent of inviting people (her family) to the wedding that I dont want there! im gonna text my dad right now and tell him not to give out the invites to her side of the family because there not invited anymore!

MINI- my dad has let it happen he would do anything for a quiet life and im far less likely to kick up a fuss than she is so he does what she wants! She did intervene when I was a child by speaking to my dad about it but it changed nothing. I will do that regarding transport and fingers crossed somthing will come up

You don't need to wait for the call. Her needs don't come first, he shouldn't have to call you in secret. Glad my post helped a little

I really hope it all works out for you. I think given her behaviour you've been a saint. I'd have gone ballistic by now at her.

It's sad when new/old partners take it out on or use children to get to the other person.

At the end of the day remember it's your wedding, so do whatever you need to to be happy.

Whereabouts in the country are you op? Maybe we can have a look/ask around for you if any hitchers are local?

nothing excuses her behaviour but does your step mum have any kids of her own? I wonder if she is adopting this air of nastiness because its easier than acknowledging her feeling?

i said before I am a stepmum and my kids 99% of the time are good as gold but I do have a very short fuse with them. I can't help it, I've never wanted kids of my own really but ican kind of see where she is coming from with the while 'that child' thing. In ashamed to say but sometimes I don't want to see my stepkids. It's incredibly hard being a stepmum, like I say it doesn't excuse her actions but I wondered if that could give some perspective to it.

Im in Chorley, Lancashire. My step mum has two children with my dad. I understand where you are coming from being a step mum your self and I do have two children so I know how hard it can be and I know some people dont like other peoples kids lol but she knew from day one that my dad had a child and I was only around 4 or 5 when they got together and she should of known better than to be mean to a child of that age. I just dont understand why shes completly cut me out