I know this is a strange thing to worry about but.....

I am fairly similar, in that i fully expected to be asking if things had arrived etc. Honestly, the morning of getting ready is such a whirlwind, everything happens with out you knowing about it. The florist arrived and i was so caught up in having my hair done, that i kissed her thinking she was my SIL? The first time i sat down all morning, was with my dress on, waiting for my Dad to come up to walk me down the aisle. Dont worry about things, they all happen around you

Oh, you sound just like me a couple of years ago!

The first thing is, if you know everything is going to be under control, you don't need to worry too much on the day. Having everything sorted in your head is the first step.

The next thing is, think about all the things you have said here and have a "contingency plan" for them. Ie - table plan doesn't make sense - go through it with your BMs/mum/H2B and check that it does, then let the guests figure it out. You'd have to be a wally to not get a table plan TBH. Flowers in the right place - you won't notice. On our way out of the church I suddenly thought "oh, I must just glance at the pew ends!" - because on my way in I was SO excited i honestly hadn't even noticed them. You won't notice! DJ not arriving yet - make sure you have confirmed attendance etc with him the week and day before and that he knows where to be. If it's a real worry, take a loaded iPod you can connect to the venue's speakers. Enough wine - I trusted that 1/2 bottle/person was enough, and the bar opened straight after dinner. If you're worried, ask for the bar to be open during dinner.

Does this make sense?

Don't delegate to others too much. The one main job we needed was the pew ends had to be taken to the venue where they doubled as table centres, and we got that sorted. I boxed all the confetti the night before and got an usher to hand it round during group photos. That was about it! We used shoe boxes to box up each table's favours, place cards and table name card and gave them to the venue with a rough drawn plan of each table and it worked out beautifully.

The day before, I had sorted everything and then booked myself in for beauty treatments ALL afternoon, very relaxing!

Although it's hard to imagine, you just need to let go on the day. If anyone had told me a couple of things would happen during the ceremony, I would have killed them, and then cried with worry. When they happened, I couldn't stop laughing. The little things that weren't perfect, that went "wrong", were the things everyone was talking about during the reception - a brilliant ice breaker!

At a friend's wedding, for example, the priest said to her husband, "do you X take Y" - but got X's name wrong! It was just funny ... it won't ruin your day. If you are marrying the man you love, it will be perfect.

Sorry this is so long!!

Thanks Ladies - really good to know I am not the only one who has faced this - prompted by a very strange wedding nightmare BTW ?

Some great tips in therte I will definately use. Thanks again

xx

WTS. Most likely not everything will go quite to plan on the day (our best men's speech ran on so the evening reception was a little bit late starting, although none of the guests noticed because of all the contingency plans I'd put in place!) but you really won't care because it's just such a happy and exciting day.

I felt the same as you, I know I'm a control freak and I had spent a year planning and thinking about every single little detail, I worried about if I would be able to relax on the day. We also went to a wedding last March (ours was in October) where H was an usher but didn't know anything about what they were expecting him to do, only to find out after the church service was that one of his jobs was to carry a huge floral pedestal arrangement all the way across Cambridge to where the wedding breakfast was taking place (and he didn't know where that was!). I really didn't want anyone to end up with surprises like that on our day!

So, my strategy was to have one person (my mum) who I discussed everything with so that she knew all the timings, contingency plans / thoughts on what to do if something didn't happen / went wrong etc. Then I wrote an instruction sheet (well actually it was about 10 pages long!) which went through all the timings of everything from 2 days before to the day after, allocated jobs to best men, bridesmaids, our parents, ushers etc. and sent them out by email a week or so before and then gave everyone highlighted copies when we all met up the day before the wedding. I realise how crazy and bridezillaish that makes me sound but, it worked brilliantly. They all said how good it was to know exactly what was happening and they needed to do (especially two of them who had also been ushers at the Cambridge wedding), they didn't need to ask me anything because they had it all there for them, and it meant everything worked out exactly how we wanted it to and I could relax! So many of our guests also said what a relaxed day it was and how amazing it was that it all went so smoothly (I wasn't amazed, I knew it was because of all the organisation I'd put in!).

I also did similar (but slimmed down) sheets for the caterer, venue staff, florist, photographer etc. Anyway, if you'd like to see a copy of the sheet then pm me and I'll happily send it to you (just don't laugh at me for being a crazy lady - I promise I was nice to everyone about it, let them make endless jokes about me and even laughed at the bit in the best men's speech where they held up a whole pack of printer paper with 'Daisy's wedding instruction sheet' in big letters on it. Oh, and when H, in his speech, said 'to those with an instruction sheet, just to let you know, we're on page 376 now'. It was totally worth it because it all went so smoothly!)

Get used to the dreams! I had loads of absolute classic anxiety dreams, ie I arrived at the church and suddenly realised I hadn't sent the invitations to anyone, or I was wearing black strappy shoes with my ivory dress, or in one very memorable one, we got to the alter and the vicar was dressed as a woman, pantomime dame style.

Which I maintain was prophetic when he pulled out the week before and asked a female vicar to conduct the service! ?