I know this sounds crazy but is it possible??

To be honest whatever you do, you're lying to them and I would have thought that would be more hurtful than not inviting them.

I have no idea what they have done to not be invited, but I really would caution you against having some sort of 'fake wedding' because they are bound to find out eventually and then that'll not only cause trouble between them and you but with the rest of the family as well.

Are you really completely 100% sure that having them there would cause problems?

Some of us would have given anything to have our grandparents at our wedding, but sadly the passing of time (and them) made it not possible.

That sounds like a lot of effort and palava considering that they're not going to be invited to your 'real' wedding.

I'm not inviting some family to my wedding, if they hear it on the grapevine I don't really care as they won't be there and I don't want them there.

It sounds that by saying you don't want to hurt their feelings that you care in some way about them. Is it a real no-no that they don't attend your wedding?

I agree with AJ. Be honest; arranging a fake wedding is, quite frankly ridiculous.

And who would you invite to the fake wedding besides your grandparents?

Hi Aj, I completely agree with you actually and I honestly don't think they would mind if i was honest and told them that they are invited to the blessing but we are just having a small wedding with just our friends etc but I don't know if it is possible to have a blessing before our wedding as most are done after.

I shouldn't imagine you can bless a marriage that hasn't happened yet (IYKWIM)

Why does it have to be before the wedding? Surely it's better and easier to have it after (then you can wear your dress twice)

You can invite the close friends and family to the wedding itself, particularly easy to do if you have a small intimate venue, then invite everyone else to the evening party.

I'm just curious as to what they've done to make them excluded from your wedding - whatever they've done, they are still family after all.

Looks like it's not really going to work. Never mind, I will just be honest and put them straight! Thanks

I think it would be difficult and stressful. Perhaps be honest and go out for a nice meal with them either prior or after the wedding.

Oh god no! It would be like some kind of Adam Sandler film!

is it possible that after your wedding you could have a nice dinner somewhere? (not directly after lol like a few days or after your honeymoon if you have one) where you would inviter them and some other members of your family?

fake wedding sounds like a plot from a rom com and you KNOW its going to go wrong and cause a family rift/argument.

Sounds like a recipe for complete disaster and something that would stress you out enormously! Surely you'd have to invite everyone that will be going to the actual wedding to the fake one so if you could have them all there for that, why not to the real one?

If you are that concerned that they are going to be upset that they are not coming.....then I'd invite them. I'm not really following if I'm honest. I have a cousin I don't get on with, they'd not be invited to my wedding. And no way would I be worried about their feelings or arranging another service for them to come to.

Obviously I don't know the full details though......

Only if I can have the film rights to it...

Sounds crazy to me. Best to be honest about it. You don't want to make a mockery of your marriage.

As AJ said, I'd think very carefully before not inviting close family members like that. Obviously I know nothing about the background, but to me it just seems a shame, unless there are extreme circumstances.

WEES about the fake wedding. Madness!

I can kinda understand why you would want to...

i would like to invite my great aunt on my fathers side to the wedding but i know theres a rift between my grandpa and her so i wouldnt because having him there is more important. i have explained to her the reason and she said that if hes there she doesnt want to be anyway.

if they both went there woulkd be an argument and a scene and it would just all go tits up.

I dont think the "diversion" wedding is a good idea though

Just want to reiterate what everyone else has said really.

If you don't want them there at your wedding, then you shouldn't have a "fake" wedding either.

We are having a blessing after our civil ceremony. The vicar was crystal clear that the legal bit had to be done first ... they can only bless a marriage that has actually happened!

All sounds like you are over complicating things to me.... have who you want to the wedding... and they invite others to the reception/party only if you want to.

This sounds to me like you are not leaving them out because YOU don't want to invite them, but that the rest of your family does not want them there. If that's the case, then invite them and everybody else will just have to suck it up. It's your day. Don't leave out important members of your family just because some people don't get on. Trust me, this is a sore issue for my wedding too. My dad doesn't speak to ANYBODY in the family. Neither does his wife, neither do his children (me excluded, obviously!). Everbody has issues with everybody else, but everybody will be at my wedding because they are there for ME, regardless of whatever has gone on between them. Have them there, sit them at the opposite side of the room, and make it clear that other people's problems are not welcome at your day. It is one day, and it is (presumably!) the ONLY wedding you're ever going to have.

Sorry if I'm making assumptions about what the problem is here, just what it looks like to me.

If you don't want them there, grow a pair and don't invite them.

A fake wedding sounds stupid.

I think it sounds like more hassle than its worth!

If you want them there just invite them and its the other peoples choice whether they chose to come or not!

We had similar with OH grandfather and wife saying if another family member was invited they were not coming we just said your not putting that on us you will all be invited and if you chose not to come that will be your decision not ours! myself and OH are certainly not getting the blame for not inviting one person who bearing in mind is his grandfathers son just cos they dont get along!

I will however be sitting them on different tables lol!

Don't know what the real reasons are either, but this is exactly the same impression I got!

If so, WSS!