If I strangle our electrician, will I do time?

Based on the information given, you sound not only totally unreasonable, but a complete PITA to boot.

I'm taking that as a green light to attack. Thankyou. x

Why? Please explain?

It's like a doorpeson said to me last night (immediately prior to booting me in the hole and popping me in a taxi) "Some people just need thumping".

Exactly. He's got to learn.

your reaction just seems to me to be totally OTT. yes, i can sympathise that you just want to be in again, but to say you hate him? you wont go to dinner with them depsite them being your husbands mates? tbh, i also think your H should take some of your venting as well, since it sounds like he hasnt really put his foot down with the guy.

i'd say based on the information you're being a bit harsh...

eleda, sadly this is what happens when you employ mates. as i found out with my kitchen/stepfather debacle. never again, i'd rather pay double

H left me to project manage it. I think, Nick, if you'd walked for 5 months in my slingbacks, your patience might be wearing thin. And no, I won't go to dinner with them because I'd be thinking of how much stress he's added to our lives at a time when you'd like to think your mates might help.

I'm quite familiar with Dutch stuff meself ?

Yep, I agree. What happened with your stepdad?

well he fitted our kitchen and was going to charge x amount a day which was 'mates rates' (although still bloody loads), which admittedly we were dumb enough to agree to rather than saying we wanted to pay a flat fee. so three weeks later and the kitchen was nowhere near ready i was running out of patience (and money) which resulted in bad tempers all round and him walking off the job.

only my sisters intervention prevented a massive family split and we do talk now, but we hardly have a warm relationship

Eleda, I know the type. You would get off and possibly get an award for service to mankind.

I sympathise. H's dad (painter and decorator, albeit nearly retired) painted our bedroom. I wanted to pay proper rates for a proper job but he did it cheaply as a favour, but consequently did things like paint round a large mirror that was screwed to the wall and only paint the bits of the bookcases that you can see (rather than taking them out from the alcoves to paint the sides). H seemed quite happy with all of this so I felt I had no choice but to accept it.

Now we are moving, we can't really take down the mirror as there'll be a massive square patch of unpainted wall, and we shall have to try to paint the sides of the bookcases to blend in as they will not now be hidden.

It's not a big deal, but I'd have preferred to have paid for a proper job in the first place.

Sounds sort of familiar. Sooo annoying.

It's not just that H's mate has run over, it's the overcomplicating which is cracking me up. Eg 1 got new light fittings for the lounge, and he asked did we want a dimmer on them. I said no, they wouldn't take a dimmer. He decides a dimmer would be better and faffs for a weekend, only to tell me that they won't take a dimmer (I knew that, I said that) and I'd have to have normal switches.

Eg 2 - the extraction vents in the bathrooms - he reckons that new Regs mean the switches must be on the outside of the bathroom and if we sell the house, it'll be a problem. I tell him we're never moving again. He moves the switches to conform with new regs.

Eg 3 - Door closers on the top floor - for fire/building control regs you're meant to have door closers on second floors. We undid them cos they bang. If we sell, we'll recouple them. H's mate goes on and on and on about them and connects them himself. I undo them.

Eg 4 - prewire for speakers etc - I don't understand any of that, but got a bloke in who does. He's done all the work with the exception of a couple of TV wires and a telly bracket. H's mate wants to be there while he's doing the work to make sure he's doing it right. He can't get there when Speakerman is there, and puts in head in hands and says "I don't need this stress." (I was starting to lose it at this point.) I say "i'll swap your stress for mine." H steers me outside and tells his mate to knock it off.

Eg 5 - replace fascias on sockets/switches for metal ones. Told him the ones we wanted, in July. He lost the paper I'd wrote it on. Only ordered last week, some out of stock. The ones he's fitted, he's cracked a tile. Tiler has long finished. Now we have a hole in the splashback.

Eg 6 - wanted the contract to reinstate the underfloor heating. Insurance contractors fitted this instead. He tells me they've done it all wrong, and it'll catch fire. No. It. Won't.

Eg 7 - phoned 6 times in one day to mither about details I'd already written for him. Then works out I am at end of rope, gets H out of meeting to tell him about the 'broken' light fittings and how crap our insurance contractors are. In fact, as I said before, bulbs are gone.

Eg 8 - saw the brochure for the wood floor we want. Said "it'll look like plastic." It doesn't, it looks gorgeous. Keep your nose out.

Eg 9 - New floor goes in, due to be sanded and stained Wed of this week. H's mate still has to drill new holes for wall lights. I ask him can he do this before they start the floors so all the dusty jobs are done. He promises it'll all be done by Bank Holiday. Then says can only do this wednesday. I put flooring company back by a day to accomodate. (It's either that or have him do them after we move.)

He wants to find problems and then solve them and rescue us from them. I want him to finish the job and sod off.

Phew. Feel better for that!

I have a vague recollection that provocation is only a potential defence to homicide offences - so basically, don't mess up. If you're going to strangle him, you need to finish him off good and proper - no half arsed attempts ?

Muchos symptathy *glances at trailing cable that MrMG's mate is supposed to be fitting a fire alarm to, which has been trailing for several months*

Great! ?

Oh I think once I start, there'll be no pulling me off him. This is why we can't go to dinner. Too many witnesses.....

My word, what a palaver!

Least your on the home stretch now..

*frantically scrabbles around for other ways to make Eleda calm and less scary*

?

Have you any concreting that isn't finished yet? ?

So tempting. But then he'd NEVER leave!