if we were to follow the wedding etiquette ......

Anyone can know the colour, just only you and the BMs are allowed to see the avtual dress? thats what I thought anyways! xx

Mine knows as her daughter is one of my bridesmaids. Don't see that it matters. When people have asked I have told them, I assume its because they don't want to buy the same colour dress xx

Surely it's just a case of telling if asked, you don't have to 'announce' it.

Thanks girls - situation is we were hoping to keep the colour a surprise for the day. the MOG has asked - we were not sure if we are meant to share or not. We dont want to offend her but we are concerned she might share this with others. Hoping the wedding etiquette was our get out of jail card lol

thanks

I've told people the colour and shown my dress. I was just glad to share with someone when they asked to be honest.

If it's a big secret just tell her straight,'We want it to be a surprise to everyone'?

I always thought the colours were meant to be a surprise on the day - I havent been to a wedding were we have known the colours before so always assumed that was how it was suppposed to be. Maybe we are doing this wrong? lol x

I would think that it is fine to be general knowledge, particularly if going with highstreet dresses so that nobody turns up in the same?

My colour scheme is common knowledge. Everyone asked me and I told them, didn't know it was supposed to be a secret.

Or MOG doesn't know but I'd tell her (if OH hasn't already). SHe's asked what colour my Mum is in so she doesn't clash or pick the same colour but I didn't realise it was a secret. In fact, I was told the Bradesmaids dresses weren't even a secret from the groom!!

Thanks guys for all the replies - I guess where I come from we do things a little differently as we would always try and guess the colours from the invitations but the colours are normally I surprise for everyone - I just wasnt sure if this was extended to the MOG or not. I thought not but guess its best to check with those from home. Thanks ladies - you have given me loads to think about x

Yeah, and me!! ?

Where's the rule book when we need it lol x

I must come from the same place as you, as I am keeping it a secret! MOG knows because OH let slip to her when he went to try on suits, but other than that no-one knows xx

Really?.the colours are meant to be a secret?!! Whoops!

But isn't the BM's colour a factor in the whole colour sheme of your wedding? So surely your OH/family will know? Mine will, once I make a final decision!

I always look at the invitations to get the colours and make sure I dont get a dress to wear to the wedding in the same colour. Where the colour has not been clear from the invite and I have been wearing a long strapless type dress I have actually rang up the groom and asked to make sure I aouldn't clash. You never know how similar the dress a guest chooses could be to a bridesmaids dress, particulary with highstreet dresses. I've never heard of keeping colours a secret before! Especially not from the grooms mum! I know my H's mum would have been hurt if we had left her out of things like that, each to their own though...

Thanks guys.

I probably should have explained our situation a little better. No-one apart from me & the OH have been involved in the planning of the wedding (long story due to logistic of where both of our families live plus we are paying for every penny of it no help from family)

We are going abroad to get married and our guest know where they are going (as they have booked thier holiday) but they do not know anything about the wedding day itself or what we have planned for them

Our families are all very excited about the not knowing which is great!

Although we are breaking away from the norm we want to keep the traditional parts of wedding etiquette which is why I had asked the original question . My understanding was the only the bridal party (EG bride, MOB and bridesmaids know the colour) Then you liaise with the MOG when she is choosing her colour.

But I am guessing that my understanding is way out lol

Thanks again for all your comments and taking the time to read my post x

Not a lot of people have been involved in my planning, so the only people who know our colour scheme is my parents, the bridesmaids, OHs Mum and the Best Man. That's just how it is where we live, my Mum didn't want me to tel ANYONE, not even my OH - according to her the groom should get his tie on the day and that's when he finds out the colour! We picked the colour scheme together though, its so important that he is comfortable in what he is wearing. All of my friends who have been married in recent years have kept it a secret too. My bridesmaids dresses are very bridesmaid-y, so I'm sure the guests wont wear a similar style, and I dont mind if anyone has the same colour - with it being December I'm sure a lot of people will wear silver/grey anyway.

I was beginning to feel like a bit of a freak as I seem to be the odd one out! Im glad there is someone else in my gang lol

We must be age old traditionalists lol x

I was beginning to feel like a bit of a freak as I seem to be the odd one out! Im glad there is someone else in my gang lol

We must be age old traditionalists lol x

I am very traditional. My friends call me the "proper" bride because I have to do everything by the book lol

My goodness we defo have the same views. Thats exactly how I have been brought up believe a wedding should be - I just wasnt sure about how or where the MOG fits in. Again I was under the impression that the colours etc are normally decided by the direct bridal party.

Like you my OH knows as I choose to invlove him in the colours because I wanted him to be comfortable too lol!!

My bridesmaids have a very bridesmaidy dress and I know that other guests will not have the same dress...so similar its unreal lol!

Are you sure you arent me lol. IMO the MOG has quite a limited role. Unfortunately my MIL2B is very interfering and trying to be involved in everything, such as choosing my dress etc. I know lots of B2BS do this, but I wanted it to be just me and my mum (tradition!) and since I didnt allow her, she has tried to take over everything else, buying things without asking us etc. So I dont want her to have any role now!

Most wedding invites I've received it's been pretty obvious what the colour scheme is from the invite, particularly if they have ribbons/bows on. I thought most people tried to incorporate the colour scheme into their stationary somehow?!

I picked up my BM dresses the other day and my BMs tried them on, OH's parents saw the dresses and I didn't see that it mattered much, they know the colour we've chosen for our theme anyway - it's the bridal dress they won't be seeing until the actual day!!!

I think they do Len11212 but that is (in my experience) the first time you see it. But some still dont let you know then - had one black invite to a wedding with white bridesmaids, and one wedding i went to the invites were lots of different colours! mine are silver and my colour scheme is charcoal grey, so not giving it away completely

My H2B has had quite a lot of input into everything. We said the wedding day is as much a reflection on him as it is me (and I refuse to do it ALL by myself!) he should have as much of a say as me. Turns out, all he says is "yes, I like it" or "no, I don't like it" but I did give him free reign on the cake and he's done that ALL by himself as he keeps reminding me. Clever boy. *roll eyes*

I thought you were specifically meant to signal the colour scheme on the invites so peopl would know what colours to avoid...

I always thought the invitations were the same as the colour scheme so that way you knew what colours to avoid wearing.

WSS people know ours but mainly because they are in the bridal party.