If you were a 14 year old girl.....

Hmmm. I was the same as you at 14, and no way would I have wanted to be treated like a kid. Mind you I have a 12-year-old boy-cousin who acts really young for his age (I mean REALLY quite young) so all kids are different around that age it seems! I would treat everyone in their teens as an adult I think, because even if she's quite young for her age, better to just have the normal place setting/favour than to be offended at being treated like a child.

Maybe some cheap jewellery? If you wanted to give her something to do then you could buy some cord and some cheap beads so she can make a friendship bracelet?

I think the same as the adult stuff tbh? If you do go down the gift bag route then maybe some glittery lipgloss, possibly nail stickers etc?

Oh and I was the same as you at 14, was in a full on "goth"stage!

Not sure really . I was a terror at 14 doing everything i shouldn't have, drinking, smoking, boys/men etc etc so i would have been really annoyed to be treated like a child. But saying that some 14 year olds are really still quite young.

I would treat her as an adult i think or like you said something a bit different - what i have no idea though sorry.

If i was her and was the only kid there that age i would probably want to be treated like an adult and receive the same as everyone else, I would be really pleased that you thought i was grown up!

Is she quite a girly 14 year old? If so, I think something like a make-up bag filled with a few goodies.

I would treat her as an adult. I would not leave her a goody bag, when I was 14 I don't think I would have wanted to be treated as a child. I would have liked to have been treated as an adult, and would have felt honoured that the bride and groom thought me mature and grown up enough not to treat me as the other kids.

Have you thought of asking her parents what they think to be best?

I had a friend and her 14.5 year old daughter to "dinner" last weekend (just a garden picnic) in an attempt to have her daughter see what "proper" grown up girls do (rather than drink cheap WKD, stare at Facebook and hang around shops). She had a great time, by all accounts. We obviously talked quite girly, lots of stuff about hair and makeup but she seemed to appreciate being treated like an adult.

Hope that helps?

"proper" grown up girls do (rather than drink cheap WKD, stare at Facebook and hang around shops).

love this, know many grown ups who would think this is normal!!

Sounds like a good weekend to me!!! ?

Sorry, didn't mean to offend you...

My middle daughter is 13 and she defiantly wants to be treated as an "adult" at my wedding. The way she is any make up that i would give her as a goodie bag would equate to pretty much what i have in mine. She would love a goody bag with "proper" ie expensive make up but is well past the glittery lip gloss stage.

Its hard with girls as some grow up quicker than others. When I was 14 I was very much like a 16 year old (OMG I still apologise to my mum this day about it) so it depends on how mature she is for her age. I have a 10 year old and I'm determined to keep her as young as possible (go away puberty!) most 14 year olds love lipgloss, nail art, mini manicure kits etc and would hate to be around little ones so would very much depend on whether she's a young 14 year old or an older 14 year old x

My niece is 14 nearly 15 and is our bridesmaid, she is wearing the same as my adult maids and will be treated exactly the same, I would just treat her as an adult. I remember being that age at family parties it was horrible being treated like a kid, especially as the others say I was a bit of a wild child on the quiet. My neice isnt at all but I know she would be horrified to be given "kids things"

Sorry ladies, I fell asleep on the sofa almost as soon as I'd posted this!!

Thanks for all the input. It's such a minefield with teenagers!

Yes, her younger brother (who is 2 1/2ish) will be there, along with their parents and grandparents. She's part of h2b's extended family so she'll know lots of the other little kids too. I've only met her a couple of times but MIL2b said she's a very young 14 year old when I suggested sitting her with my friend's 16 year old daughter (who now isn't coming because she can't bear to be parted from her new boyfriend for a day, bless her!).

I'll have a chat with MIL2b later and see what she thinks. I'd like to do something nice to acknowledge this girl so she doesn't feel forgotten as the only teenager there. Really like the idea of a little make-up kit or something. Just have to check if she's allowed to wear make-up first.......!

I would have a chat with her Mum & see what she likes or is interested in. !4 is the in between, too young for some things & too old for others.

I was also a bit of a wild child at 14 and already 'clubbing' and smoking at that age ? My daughter was also quite grown up at 14 wearing make up, fashionable clothes and working at weekends so I think unless she is 'really' young for her age, she might not appreciate being given a goodie bag as such but perhaps she could be given a present wrapped up in a girly way which she would probably think was more 'cool' .

I think this is the angle we're going to take. I actually feel really awful for her being the only person there in her age group. Bit worried she'll be bored senseless!

Is there not a dishy 14 year old boy you could invite LOL!

You could get a nice box and fill it with some nice make-up, try and make it more grown up than childish, i would have loved to have been given something grown up at that age, especially as you don't tend to have your own money to get adult things. Alternativly, as she is going to be the only teenager there, you could treat her like an adult and suggest she brings a friend to the evening do, that way it won't cost you food for this girls friend, but it would make you feel less sorry for her and im sure she would appreciate it more too. As a teenager myself (19, with a mental age of 40) i know i would have loved that.

Just an idea.

Beki

Haha, I think her mum would be most unimpressed!

As it turns out, my dad has invited an obscure relative of mine, AND her husband AND her two kids who are closer in age to the 14 year old than any of the other kids. So hopefully she won't feel so isolated. Now I just have to fanangle the seating plan. Again. Again. ?

I have a 14 year old son and I wouldn't single her out at all with a gift of any kind. I would sit her with the adults and give her the wedding favour they are all having. We are giving the centrepiece to someone sat at each table so you could give her the flowers ? I wouldn't draw attention to her personally as it is so easy to get it wrong with a hormonal teenager ! lol