Hello!
I was a regular poster under a different name on here during the build up to our wedding last summer. I found this forum really helpful and thought I'd pop back to share my experiences and lessons learnt that might be of help for brides and grooms to be with things I wish I'd known/thought of before the wedding! We had the most amazing day and loved every minute and our guests all said they had an amazing time. It was lovely to be surrounded by everyone you care about and watch them enjoying themselves. I hope that this helps! It might sound like I'm being negative in parts but looking back theres just little things that I'd probably have done differently and I'm hoping will be of some use to other people.
The Small things
1. Don't take too many people dress shopping. Everyone will have an opinion and if you want it to be stress-free just take one close person who you trust until you have found "the dress" and then take all other close people to the final fitting!
2. Don't tell people too much detail. People will nag to know what your dress etc is like but don't cave. On the day it was lovely to see people's reactions as the day unfolded and especially if your dress choice is not what they are expecting. I had a lot of criticism and comments about our choices of different things (decorations, music, favours etc). I quickly stopped telling people stuff and just shared my ideas on here with other lovely brides instead and on the day these same people all said how wonderful everything was. It's your wedding, your vision just do what you like!
3. Confetti! Make sure you get the right kind! The ebay bargain I got for our group confetti photo ended up not being a bargain when at 9pm the night before the wedding the venue said it wasn't biodegradable and we couldn't use it! Cut to my friends running around three card shops on the morning of the wedding trying to buy 60 boxes and the groom frantically decantering it an hour before guests arrived!
4. Children. We made activity bags for the children at our wedding and they loved them. They kept them amused all day long. Loom bands, colouring books, pirate hats, glow sticks, sticker books, sweets, balloons etc. I raided the pound shop and Home Bargains and it was worth every penny as they kids had a great time, we're well behaved and their parents were very grateful!
5. If your dress is big practice walking in it with whoever is walking you down the aisle! I felt myself start to trip in that first couple of steps and remembered what they do on Big Fat Gypsy Weddings and managed to kick the dress and save myself without anyone noticing! Remember... KICK IT!!!
6. Ask a friend or family member to take a few snaps of everyone getting ready together in the morning. I didn't want any official getting ready shots but a friend decided to take some on his camera slyly and I'm really glad he did as they are a lovely memory of what a nice morning we had getting ready and really natural too.
7. Make a list of who needs a button hole and give it to someone who can take charge of it. On the day my hubby was really nervous and had a mind blank and couldn't remember!
8. Groom's speech. My OH speaks publicly as part of his job so decided not to write a speech but make it up on the day. Bad idea! Bless him, his nerves got the better of him and although I think his speech was lovely he wasn't happy with it and regrets not being more organised and now it's forever immortalised on the wedding video which he has to fast forward past because it makes him cringe so much!
9. Moisturise your wedding finger just before you step out and your wedding band will glide on perfectly in the ceremony! I was really worried my hands would swell up and go clammy (they did!) but the ring just slid on because of some Hand Food!
10. Entertainment. To Photo booth or not to photo booth. We were in two minds about this. Guests were happy mingling throughout the day. On the evening we had a photo booth and the guests really enjoyed it. It was busy all night and broke the awkward early doors time before people were drunk enough to dance! BUT don't be hoodwinked by believing if you book the leading company you'll get a good service. We were well and truly ripped off by our photo booth company and wish we'd just asked our photographer to stay and do it instead. But our guests were oblivious to this on the day and thoroughly enjoyed it.
11. Sweetie buffet. We had a DIY sweetie buffet for 80 people at the evening reception and did it for under £50 with vintage style glass jars, tongs, personalised paper bags and every kind of confectionary you could think of! Ebay, amazing, Poundland and Home Bargains were all to thank for this! And we were still wasting the sweets in December!
12. Protect the dress! I wore a white cotton apron over my dress for the meal with my married name embroidered on it. It gave the guests a laugh but stopped any spilllages.
13. Think about your drink choices! I normally drink rose wine or red wine but stuck to white on the day. Good job as at 8pm my friends excited 4 year old daughter ran up to me and knocked a full glass of white wine all over my dress by accident. Luckily it was white and didn't stain. I was very lucky!
14. Have a wedding perfume. I bought a new perfume and wore it for the build up, wedding and honeymoon and now whenever I wear it it instantly reminds me of the wedding and my hubby too.
15. First Dance. We didn't want to do one BUT we did do a spontaneous last dance when it was just close friends and family there at the end of the night. Granted we were a bit drunk by then and it was a song I absolutely hate but I'm really glad we did that.
16. Evening guests. OVER INVITE! In all honesty if people aren't invited to your day do they don't treat your evening do as a priority and will fail to RSVP/cancel last minute or just not bother turning up if they get a better offer! We catered for 80 and had about 15 no-shows. We had loads of food left over. Looking back I wish we'd invited 100 to the evening do. Even if they all turned up we'd still have had enough food.
17. When you open gifts make a list of who has bought you what as when you come to writing thank you cards you'll forget. I'm really glad we did this.
18. Brides have comfy shoes for the evening. I was convinced my Irregular Choice were comfy enough to wear all day but 12 hours later and I was wishing I'd brought some fancy flip flops for the last couple of hours.
19. Don't sweat the small stuff. Table decorations, favours etc are all lovely and ours were really complemented on by our guests but I bet if I asked a guests to tell me what our colour scheme was or what was on our tables they'd struggle! DIY all the way, it's more personal, cheaper and you can give it all away at the end of the evening which always goes down well with relatives and friends.
The big things
1. Photos. Make a list of the people you want on your photos for the photographer but make sure you tell the guests too! A few of our friends disappeared to the bar and missed the friends group shot as they didn't know about it. Also, my best friend who helped me with every aspect of the wedding planning from start to finish and getting ready on the day got missed. I had her down to have a photo of us two together but somehow she got missed and on the day and she didn't think to mention that she'd not had her photo taken. I was really overwhelmed and didn't realise either. But I'd not told her she was on the list. My husbands best friend also got missed. 7 months on and I still feel terrible and beat myself up about this. I wish We'd told everyone in advance what photos they were going to be on. What is annoying is that other people not on the list got in on photos they weren't meant to be on because they asked the photographer directly or just sneaked on at the side!
2. Video. If you have money in your budget then they are definitely worth getting but shop around, do your research and don't leave it too late. We booked ours last minute without meeting him. I gave him a list of things happening in the day via email and everything seemed fine. Unfortunately he ignored the list and missed key events like the bouquet toss, witnesses and other things. he also managed to completely miss my Oh's family and my OH isn't on any of the evening footage! He said he'd get guest messages but none of our guests were approached by him on the day. Out of the eleven hours he was there we were promised a one hour video which we were told we would get 4 weeks after the wedding. What we got was a 27 minutes long DVD and we've only just received it this weekend, which is 7 months after the wedding.
3. Music. If you've been told to make a ceremony CD make sure you check it the week before. I spent a long time looking for music and downloading it etc (of which none of the guests even noticed!) For some reason our CD's worked at home and in the car but didn't work at the venue. Luckily I tried them a week before at the venue and had time to sort out an alternative which was plugging in my ipad and this worked well. No risk of it jumping half way through your entrance!
4. Food. Remember to eat! We spent ages choosing canopies I didn't have any and barely touched the evening buffet! At the time I was too busy enjoying the moment but looking back now I wish I'd tried the food at my own wedding especially as everyone still raves about it being so nice! I feel left out ! Lol
5. Wedding insurance. We bought it with a well known department store chain and tried claiming for our video and photo booth disasters but apparently photo booths and videos are not "wedding essentials" and are not covered. Check the small print so you know exactly what's covered.
After the wedding/honeymoon
It will be a bit weird after it is all over and suddenly you don't need your Pinterest account anymore and you keep getting Facebook updates from wedding dress shops. I thought brides who said they felt a bit down after their wedding were all nuts but it does feel a bit weird. We made sure we had loads of nice things planned in the weeks we got back like meals with friends etc.
I hope this helps I some way and if anyone else wants to add their own pearls please do! The most important thing is to enjoy every minute of the build up and wedding day. Things will go wrong or not to plan but on the day you won't care!
