I'm ready to kill a colleague!!!! (sorry, long rant)

I feel your pain! I have a similar issue with someone who reports to me who seems to delight in giving me unsolicited feedback while stating that he's doing it for my own good. I went home in tears because of it a couple of weeks ago so I know how it feels.

The way I dealt with it was to have a bloody good cry at home and then tell the man in question that he was entitled to his opinion but that I disagreed with it and wasn't prepared to discuss it further. His mouth hung open at my arrogance of not taking on board his opinion but he let it drop. If you take the same path make sure you emphasise that it's just not open for discussion any longer and then change the subject.

Fingers crossed that he moves on as quickly as possible for you.

JESUS, what a runt!

I've never been in a situation THAT bad, so I can't begin to imagine what it must be like. But in other situations, I try to make the bad into good. Like, he's sitting there telling you you're no good at the job- well, you KNOW, deep inside, that you're BETTER than him! Try to envisage yourself in the role a few months down the line, and, sod's law has it, he'll come crawling back wanting his job back.

Picture his face, when your Line Manager turns around to him and says "Ah, well, that's all very nice, but Amee is doing a GREAT job! Noone's ever done the job as well as she has!"?

When I first came into my current role, I got a lot of "C (previous admin) used to do this" and "C used to do that" and "C was great" etc. Which, if nothing else, made me think: fuck the lot of them, I'll show them who's best! ?

Hey Carrot,

Sorry to hear you are going through the same thing, he also does this to our Line Manager who would be in exactly the same shoes as you!!

I will have to keep that retort up my sleeve!! I'm sure I will have cause to use it in the near future.

One of the lads suggested laxatives in his coffee but I haven't the nerve! ?

Hi Mrs S,

Thanks for replying!! I shall definitely try the visualisation techniques from now on. I feel a bit calmer for having people tell me I'm not over-reacting.

Glad you didn't listen to that lot, I would have lost my rag I think and said, well, ok, but C isn't here now so you are gonna have to just get over it! ?

Sounds to me like he's jealous of you actually and he's trying to put a dent in your confidence before he goes. I know mine is resentful of me, a woman half his age, being his line manager and actually being pretty good at the job thereby proving him wrong. I'd definitely try to avoid being alone with him to try to limit his opportunities to start on you.

to me it sounds like he's threatened by you big time...from experience, thats why people act like this.

I know its hard, but rise above it. Maybe try to convince your manager that you could cope with the work if he left and that your sure he's really keen to be off to his new adventure....with any luck he'd be gone by the end of the week!

Oh, it SO works! For me, anyway!

In the role previous to my current role I was temping as an HR Admin reporting to a HR Manager. I applied for the perm job, and 6 weeks after my interview I braved it and asked the woman if I'd been given the role. Well, she said no. Which was fine. Then, when I got my current role, the woman provided an AWFUL reference (I wasn't meant to have seen it, but I did, without anyone noticing- it was public info anyway) and basically said- and I quote "Corrupted an Excel spreadsheet" and that I wasn't a good worker at all. At first, that REALLY hurt, and I was pretty sad. But then I found out she'd got another job a few months down the line (my company dealt very closely with her as a client) and she's apparently job hunting again!

MWHAHAHA! ?

One word- Karma ?

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lol, loving the mwahahaha bit!!

Actually, the night of his 'you're no good at you job' pep talk he broke his foot and has been hobbling round on crutches (milking it) ever since.

Definitely lady karma... although I was asked by more than one person if I had done it!

I think I may actually agree with you on the envy/jealously side ladies (not trying to be big headed here or owt!).

When I started he had just been fighting for a big pay rise but what he didn't bank on was the newbie getting it automatically once it had been put through. I think he envisaged it would be especially for him.

What's even worse is I get on well with him, or did, outside of work. Unforunately I have turned into a rather bitchy person in light of all the goings on which isn't really like me, he hasn't half knocked my confidence but thanks to posting on here and the lovely words of wisdom I think tomorrow (and hopefully the one day after) will be easier to deal with.

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