I'm so torn - what to do????

If that's what you both want, and you aren't going to get killed by your mothers for doing it that way, then why not?

If you want a simple register office 'do' with a meal in a restaurant for say 10-15 people afterwards, why not? It's no less a wedding than a meringue dress, church and 300 guests with a 5 course meal.

It's the ceremony, the legal declarations and the vows that you say to each other that make you married, not an expensive dress, vintage car, flowers, food, etc etc etc.

No, I think if that's what you both want to do then its a great idea. Are you considering having a party at a later date to celebrate with friends and family?

Be sure its what you really want. I know its hard when it seems so long away, but would you regret it?

If you really don't think you would then definately go for it! It's the fact you get married that matters more than how you do it (although its important too to some) x

DO IT!!!

I forgot to mention, I don't think my mother would be particularly happy, my sister would probably not speak to me for months on end (wouldn't be the first time either!) and I'm fairly certain my MIL2B would hate me even more than she does now, but i'm not entirely sure I care!!

There's still the little girl inside me that wants the full shebang but i'm so impatient I don't think i could wait!

Yes sapphire, I would probably organise a party afterwards to celebrate, although not sure that will be enough for some people, although it's these family politics that are making me shy away from a full wedding.

I know my mother would kill me if we went off and did it in secret... unfortunately family politics can get in the way of things.

I suppose the decision has to be based on the balance between risking upsetting people against having the day that you want. Nobody else can really make that decision except the two of you, and then you both need to tell people that this is what you want to do - but before you actually book anything, just in case.

The last thing you want is to regret your wedding, whether that's the rush job that alienated your family, or waiting six months just to please people but not feeling it was "your day".

If you dreamed about the big white wedding, you could run the risk of regretting the small affair that you decide to have. All the same you are absoloutly right in that its not all about the frills and some people do loose sight about what marriage really means. IMO its a bit of an extreme reaction, one min your getting married in 2014 the next thing its going to be in a few weeks. Its pretty mental but if its what you both want and you have thought long and hard about it then why not. On the flip side, you could always bring the wedding forward until next year,that way you would get to have a few more things that you would have liked without comprimising on just about everything.

We went for a 'proper' wedding in order to make everyone happy and we both really regret that now as its not what makes us happy, which is the most important thing for our wedding day. So I don't think you should be swayed by family members.

Having said that...if there is still a part of you that wants 'the full shebang' then you need to think really carefully about this. Could you compromise and plan a small wedding for next year?

Why not get married now, then in a year or so if you/family still want the big production, have a blessing later on (if that suits your beliefs/budget)?

Personally I'm so stressed about having to cancel my wedding in March due to work that I was tempted to just go down the register office now instead. Only thing that stopped me was the fact that we both want a religious wedding so we're having to postpone instead.

Not crazy at all. I think if that's what you want and you wont regret your decision, then do it. How exciting!!! ?

Do it.

I really wish this was what we were doing.

Wedding planning has only just started for us really and already I am worried we will even make it to the big day without having killed eachother.

Bad times at the moonpie place at the moment

If you want to do it now, then yes do it. It doesn't mean it just has to be you and two witnesses, you can still invite family and say you're going out for dinner afterwards if people would like to join you but due to costs you unfortunately can not afford to host and pay for the meal. That way parents/siblings/very closest friends still get to share the day with you.

Holding off until you've lost weight makes no sense to me. Your OH has proposed because he loves you now, for who you are and not who you could be. What would happen if you got to 2014 and found that you hadn't been able to lose the weight? I say this, because I had every intention of losing weight for my wedding (1 month today!) when OH proposed a year ago - 4 weeks later I got recurrent abscesses which have seen me hospitalised, unable to shower properly, advised not to sweat more than I 'have to'. 9 months later - no strenuous exercise and no pounds off. Doesn't make me want to marry OH any less - sure I would have loved to have been smaller for the wedding, but having this illness has meant that I've appreciated how much I love OH and how much he loves me and that's far more important to me than being a size 10.

Waiting to save money I can understand though. Although it does strike me that maybe you could come to some kind of compromise?

If it were me, I wouldn't get married in September, impatience is not a good reason to to cause upset in the family. Maybe just consider whether you could re-evaluate about the format of the "big white wedding", book it for 2012, invite the family but do it intimately.

Having a quick shotgun wedding now might seem great but if you balance it against the heartbreak you might cause the family, is it worth it? Only you and OH can answer that one.

So....did you do it?