Im sooooooo mad

I would just ignore them. You'll look lovely and so will your other bridesmaids. If your SIL wants to be different that that's up to her. Sod her!

Claire is right - people do fuel each other. I'd just say very firmly that you want the BM's hair to be "such and such". If they kick up a fuss, get OH to have a word. People do try and take over, and you've got to stand your ground.

Hi Claire

Never really got on with MIL since we have been together, all started when she said I trapped her son when I feel pregnant with our first son who is now ten also said when we told her I was expecting she said you's wont be staying here!!! hell would freeze over before I would stay with her.

Used to get on really well with SIL before I asked her to be bridesmaide now she has just turned into a miniture version of her horrible mum lol

Lx

That's quite insensitive of your MIL and SIL to criticise everything so much. If it's any consolation my H said I looked like a clown after my MU trial! but when you're in the dress, with hair done etc it does look so different and more natural.

Is it really important that all you BM's have the same hair do? There's nothing wrong with your BMs not looking like clones of each other. Maybe your SIL doesn't like and/or wouldn't feel comfortable in the style you want her too, I personally would hate to think of any of my BMs not being comfortable and enjoying the day. I'm not trying to antagonise (right word?) you, but just trying to help you see it from another POV.

Thanks Sarah Kay

I did give the option that they could all have there hair different that really does not matter to me because as you said i would not want anyone sitting there feeling uncomfortable all day and night. I think its more the point that she does not want to be included in hair trials ect when im payiing for all this on the day, she is just wanting to go off so her own thing even suggested that she took her dress and got her own fitting and alterations done, I have tried soo hard to include her in everything.

Lx

Well at least you've learnt that you won't be including them anymore with the preparations!!! the annoying thing is you only showed them to be nice! i think its very tactless of MIL to say that to you about your make up or about your son, some people will just say something mean just to upset you and get a reaction. Don't let it get to you (easy for me to say).

personally, i'd let SIL do her own make up - saves you money!!!! as for the hair do's who is paying for them? it would be considerate of them to have the style you requested if your paying for it! but the bridesmaids don't necessary have to have the same hair dos if its going to cause a big row!

I will be paying for them on the day and honestly dont mind if they all want different not everyone suits there hair a certain way. Just feel as if they are just Jealous.

Lx

I think the key is to stay very calm. and just explain to her that she is part of the bridal party, and that everything that is done will be a part of the bridal party, as in every1 will be doing it all together and explain that it is more fun that way and it keeps every1 together. if she does up-cast at all then just point out that you would really like every1 to be able to get on well together and it would please you to no end if she could just cooperate. do the killing with kindness thing!