Including lost loved ones in your big day

I had photos of both sets of grandparents in my bouquet, Mr C mentioned all absent friends and family in his speech.

That was enough for all of us, any more than that and we would have all been in floods of tears all day.

I had a family locket attached to my bouquet with a picture of my Dad's Mum and Dad in there as youngsters. Everyone loved the idea of me putting it there, and I got some many comments through doing it.

Here is a photo:

OH's Mum died just before we got together so sadly I never got to meet her, we also want to remember some of our grandparents who ware no longer with us....

So we are having framed wedding photos from our parents and granparents displayed on the grand piano in the ceremony/reception room.

^This^

OH'a brother died suddenly in Oct so I plan to get him a tie pin or something similar of his favourite football team to wear on the day. Also he loved crossword puzzles so may try and bring that in someway.

I will probably wear my Gran's pearls that she left me.

x

Very beautiful and pure!!!!! Friends must master!!!!!

P1ss off!

I've seen a good idea recently, where photframes with pictures are hung at the end of the pews/chairs down the isle. It looks lovely too! This could be done with any pictures obviously but would be a great way of having pictures of those not with you around you on your wedding day.

I went to a wedding at the weekend where the groom had lost his mum- at the beginning of the service the vicar lit a candle in the church as said a pray for his mum. She was also mentioned in both the groom and best man's (grooms brother) speech and along with the bride and groom toasts we also had a toast to their mum which was lovely (there wasn't a dry eye in the house at this point).

My grandmother passed away last year and my engagement ring is made from one of her dimond earings so she will definatly be there on the wedding day. We will also be doing a toast to absent friends and family during the speaches as there will be a number of family members unable to be there for one reason or another.

I will be wearing my Grandma's pearls as a bracelet, and have a brooch that Grandpa gave her before they got married which I will pin on my bouquet. I'm not sure if there'll actually be a mention in the service/speeches, as there'd be quite a few names to remember.

I've played songs in the evening for lost loved ones.....and everyones come onto the dancefloor in a big circle with arms round each other.....very emotional and touching.... and then followed it with something up beat and everyone quite happily switches to party mode.

A wedding is a strangely emotional day.... which can happily go from tears emotion to laughter in seconds.

There is a fireplace in our ceremony room and we are going to put black and white photos in frames on the mantle piece.

I am having a pic of my nanny and one of my grandad in two mini frames attached to my stepdaughters flowers x

I had a locket attached to my bouqet with my dad's photo in and we walked back down the aisle to 'Ive got the world on a string' by Frank Sinatra as Dad was a huge fan!

My God father did the god father of the bride speach and before his speach he made a toast to mine and OH's dad's and to 'absent friends' which was a nice tought.

the night b4 we had a family dinner and my brother made a speach about my dad and how proud he would have been which had me in floods of tears so im glad he did that the night before!

My cousin lost her dad a few years ago, and had a trinket on her bouquet with a photo of him and the words 'I will be walking you down the aisle x'. Then at the reception there was a small table next to the top table with his photo on and a candle that stayed lit all evening. Her brother made the father of the bride speech and mentioned him, needless to say not a dry eye in the house!

My dad died 3 years ago and I bought a frame with 3 heart shape holes and put a picture of him in the middle heart and then on either side I put the following poem in 2 parts:

My Little girl, dont cry for me,

I'll be right by your side,

I'd never miss out on this day

That you become a bride

I'm here with you to hold your hand,

And give your heart away,

To the man you chose to take care of you,

Forever from this day.

Today I place your hand in his,

With blessings and with pride,

My Little Girl, don't cry for me,

I'm right here by your side.

I put the photo frame on a table during the ceremony and the table became the gift table later on so the photo was there all day and my Uncle who gave me away mentioned dad in his speech and so did my Husband. As others have said it caused a lot of tears from family and friends.

I thought I was going to be an emotional wreck walking in to the ceremony and was really worried about it in the week before hand as I didnt want a happy day to be a really sad one but in the morning I was in the ceremony room doing some final touches (we stayed at the venue the night before) and my auntie and best friend were in there with me and my auntie read the poem and burst in to tears which set me off so I had a good cry then and I think it helped me to calm down and I managed to only cry during the speeches and at no other point.

I did buy a bouquet photo charm which I put his picture in but my mum forgot to give it to me on the day so it stayed in her handbag !

I lost my mum and I'm thinking of putting a poem in to hold close to me during the ceremony. We've also lost my granddad (who I was his pride and joy and only grandchild) along with my OH's grandma (who he was very close too) and all will be included within the speeches I think.

We are having our ceremony in the church where my mum's ashes are, so either me & my OH will be going down the day before to put some flowers on her memorial box in the same colour as the wedding, as she would be a part of it, or my MOH will be putting her bouqet on her box before we leave. I like the idea that she'll be looking through the church window from the garden at us

I think we are also considering a chinese lantern release or balloons release x

Oh's Grandpa passed a few years ago now, but they were very close. He had Alzheimers. In my bouquet (buttony) I have the Alzheimers' Society brooch and the ring bearer will be using Grandpa's treasured leather box to carry the rings. My bouquet is also full of buttons from my grandma. Other than that I'm not sure. OH wants to set of chinese lanterns to remember Grandpa by but it might be too emotional.

That poem is beautiful, got my crying!

Can't believe I forgot, we're also going to release balloons after the ceremony to send the party up to our angels (Nan, Mum, 2 aunts and 2 cousins)

I don't want many public things tbh, as I think rememberance is a private thing. So only those who understand will realise. But there's plenty of bits...

I want to pop to the church in the morning with Mum and light a candle. My something blue will be one of my Dad's hankies with his initial on, and I might have one of those bouquet locket things. One of the readings will hopefully be a poem that was my parents' poem. I think we'll have a hymn that reminds Mum of Grandad (her Dad), and that she has therefore suggested.

I think the only thing people might notice is the cancer research pin badge favours, but they also link in with friends/family who have been affected and survived (better end this post on a happy note!)

I'm having a little photo of my late granddad on my bouquet and on the back a photo of my Nan who is still alive but very unwell and unable to attend. My something old is my Nan's wedding ring.

Me too! My dad died when I was still a little girl and this has been the hardest part of wedding planning for me, knowing that he never got to meet my wonderful OH and won't be there at my wedding. I'm having a mini photo-frame with a picture of him in it tied to my bouquet. x

Oooh, a lovely touch I forgot when writing my initial post - my cousin got married on our grandmother's birthday (though I don't think she realised during planning as grandma died before we were born) and rather than throwing her bouquet she sent it back with one of our aunts to put on our grandmother's grave.

We're struggling with this at the moment, as H2B's dad died several years ago. He would like to include a discreet framed photo of his dad in the wedding venue. His mum is totally against the idea but can't or won't really explain why. Not sure what we'll do now. ☹️

I am wearing my nans eternity and anniversary ring my grandad got her, im wearing on the opposite hand on finger next to index finger.. my nan quite weirdly told me 'one day when im gone this is yours' and strange as it was she passed away the next day so it means a massive amount to me.. and ill also have a cherised teddy on the table she should of been sat in.. im not looking forward to my dads speech that much as weve had a really tough few years and i fear after a few drinks the emotions will get the better but! My dad will also mention about lost loved ones and wants everyone to take a moment to think of them.. but i dont want people to be sad i want them to remember the good times etc.. im also taking the top table flowers down to where my nan was cremated and leave them for her xxx

Also, and I know I've said this before, my engagement and wedding rings are/were my Mum's, and our wedding day would have been their 30th wedding anniversary

Mrs C made us some frog cake toppers as my nan loved frogs and collected them and I wore her eternity ring on my index finger on my right hand and during the ceremony I had my engagement ring on top.

No one was mentioned as we didn't want to put a downer on the day.

My grandad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly 2 years ago. I am absolutely gutted he won't be with me as we were very close. I am going to be wearing on my right hand my platinum diamond and sapphire ring that he gave me years ago. It will be my something old and blue as well as it was originally his aunts.

I'm having OH's nan's rosary beads around my bouquet as she was the Catholic oracle of their family.

This is something that i have been thinking about recently, i lost my best friend when i was 16, and want to include her and my dear grandad, i have photos that i will prob put in small frames, and was thinking about standing them on the cake table.....ali will also get a big mention and we will toast to her not being at my hen do............

sarah

I lost my Grandad January of this year [:'(] He is the only relative I have lost. I always imagined having all my family at my wedding.

When I was growing up my grandad mentioned that he would probably live to see me and my 2 siblings get married, but 'might not manage' to see my 2 younger cousins. It was unfortunate Grandad passed seeing none of us get married!

My Mam and Granny both have passport pictures of him in their purse and on a keyring. They both say when they go out they are taking him out with them (Granny often tells her picture where they're going! .. so sad, but so sweet)

My plan is to use my 'something borrowed' and borrow my mams keyring of grandad and attach it to my bouquet. That way he will be spending my day with me ?

Only problem I have is asking my Mam and explaining the reason without shedding a tear!!

Bit long winded, but there you go ? xx

My uncle had some credit card sized memorial cards made for my dad's funeral which have his picture and a prayer on the front and a poem on the back that he used to carry around with him (unfortunately he fought cancer for 8 years and the poem was about not letting things beat you). I carry one of these around with me in my purse, and always take it with me if I use a bag without a purse on nights out etc, whenever I open my purse or bag my friends always say hi to him if they are with me.

I also have a couple of them around the house (in discreet places like my bedside drawer etc) and unbeknown to me H2B put one in the pocket of his jacket and kept it there all day on our wedding day. He didnt tell me until well in to the evening do and I was really touched, he only knew my dad for 2 years before he died but unfortunately does not know his own dad so they were pretty close and he said he wanted my dad with him all day.