In-laws being awkward

It's very hard to over rule your own parents let alone your inlaws. They are the people who have always been there for your H2B even before you. Having said that however they are not being very supportive of you so do you really want them there if it is all holding you to their demands.

I wouldn't put your wedding off I'd just decide what you want and go for it.

Good Luck

Pipa

It does seem to me that your in-laws are being undreasonable, however! I assume their year long round the world trip has been planned for some time? is it all booked? Have they said why they won't change there plans?

Your happiness should ultimately come first............

Could you bring it forward to December this year? ? but failing that, yes I think you need to let your H decide this one... ?

Stick to your plans, so long as H2B is ok with the fact his parents won't be there.....

We've had a similar thing regarding our decision to marry abroad, as opposed to here as MIL wanted. We stuck to our plans which had been booked and agreed for about 18 months, and she cancelled the trip out there to come to the wedding, so won't be there.

Depending on how flexible their trip is (and how long its been planned) you may want to give them some slack...I know if I'd planned a round the world trip, booked it and paid for it I wouldn't cancel it for something else booked afterwards. Xx

This is something your h2b needs to talk over with his parents and I agree with 2 points that have been mentioned, the 1st being that this yr long trip would of been something planned in advance and that your il2b are being unreasonable.

Do they know that there are 2 weddings from your side of the family during that fortnight?, can they change the dates that they come back?, surely there can be some sort of leeway this far in advance.

Ok, my instinct was to say that they are being unreasonable until it registered that they're travelling around the world. I imagine travel such as that was planned and booked some time ago and presumably before you settled on a date. In which case I think you'll need to consider your own hands in this turn of events. Yes they seem to be making demands but maybe they're put out that despite you knowing their travel plans, you are still proposing to have the wedding on a date when they are away.

Why would your planning be wasted if you haven't booked the wedding yet, the planning should surely still apply for 2011? And you have the option of bringing it forward to December.

I don't agree with the sentiment that your happiness should come first over and above anything else. Marriage is about more than just one day and is a very special occasion for both the B&G and the people who have loved and supported you, through childhood to the adults you've become.

x

I agree with BWC

Parents, whether they are H2B or yours, are an important part of the day.....neither of you would be the people you are today without them. I'm sure a compromise could be reached. Good luck with it.

I agree with BWC too. I have a friend who has been on a world trip and the planning and timeing that went into it was beyond belief, not to mention the expense.

I can see all sorts of repercussion's in the future if you carry on without them. Your actual wedding is only one day, it's all the day's and years after that are the important thing and starting off at logger heads with the in-laws is not the way to go!

I have to say that whilst i agree with 'my day my way' and that the happiness of the bride and groom is important you really have to b careful not to take it too far and make enemies of your family. That sounds like what might happen here. You PIL's are presumably the people who have been there for your OH all his life and therefore you need to take them into account and equally your H2B's feelings are very important. If he'll be miserable without them there then its not going to be a happy day is it?

It sounds like this round the world trip has been planned for a long time. We have cousins who are sailing to australia and a lot of planning has gone into that and it all has to be taken into account that is planned and probably paid for. I think its a bit unfair to say theyre being awkward. Yes it might be not nice of them t say thet wont speak to you if you dont move the wedding but its probably because theyre upset at the prospect of not seeing their son get married. You have to remember that whilst your wedding day is the most important thing in your world its not the most important thing in any body elses world and life will carry on regardless of how many bridezilla tantrums any of us throw!

Hi, thanks for your comments

The trip is booked and payed for up until december this year, but next year hasnt been booked and payed for yet.

We have spoken to them about dates that they would be able to make and tried to compromise but the end comment was aug 2010 or nothing! or at least thats how it came across.

Im finding hard it hard organising and making sure everyone is happy. My mother died 3 years ago and i only have an aunt and a stepfather left who are both retired so they take no organising at all!

Ok, is there a reason they are so adamant that they can't change their dates for the end leg of the travels? See, anyone I know who has travelled around the world have had choose their dates/timings very carefully for many reasons - weather, seasons, events, price. If this is something they have been waiting all their lives to do, I'd struggle to make them change their plans (esp. if their plans were set, if not booked, before I picked a date).

Don't get me wrong, I see where you're coming from. But if it were my parents or PIL I'd want them to have the time of their lives after years of hard graft and bringing up kids. To me I can pick any date to get married but this may be the only chance they have to make this round the world thing happen.

I'd genuinely have no problem waiting until 2011 or bringing it forward to the end of 2009 but that's me. I mean it's not like it's November 2010 or never is it? Why is this date so important?

x