inspiration for including a relative who can't come to our wedding

Table names.

Photo frame bouquet locket.

Wear some of her jewellery.

If she's able to view it from her room you could ask your photographer about live streaming options. Could a camcorder be sited where her place would be so that she could watch it later through the views she would have had?

Keeping an empty seat is a way of acknowledging her. You could put her hat on it. Hotels are fairly used to this so they won't think it is odd.

Skype or similar

Thank you for all the suggestions, love the idea of saving a seat for her and using the hat in her place.

Perhaps a photograph of your mum at her wedding day, or something similar to go with the seat as well. This has become fairly common.

Trying to think of a way to say this, but there's no easy way of doing it! It might just be worth, during the speeches, pointing out that your Mum isn't dead, but can't travel to the wedding. I think that under these circumstances, it would be the conclusion most would jump to.

And finally an extra thumbs up to skype/video conferencing. If you have a laptop and the venue has wi fi, I suspect it's make her day to be able to see the actual event

Pete

Skype is a great one. At my aunties wedding, my grandad couldnt make it due to his agressive cancer, so he watched from Skype, and after the ceremony all of us grandkids were crowding round the laptop waving and blowing kisses and having a chat, bless him he was so happy to watch it all happening live, and its very easy to do. :-)

Ooo another suggestion, is there a particular song that she loves that will be suitable for your first dance? What song did she have at her wedding? Music is a great ode to a person :-)

Good point about making it clear that's she's still alive just unable to make the day!

I will definitely look into the Skype option, I'm sure her carers could help her end with setting up a computer.

Thanks for all the great suggestions

Thinking about acknowledging that she can't be there but is still alive, we have a family tradition of a three candle toast. We light the first candle and toast the present company, we light the second candle and toast those who couldn't join us through health or distance, and light the third and toast those who are no longer with us. It would be really easy to incorporate into wedding toasts. You could choose to name people like your mum in the relavent sections.

Also, I totally agree with the comments about Skype. I went to my cousins wedding via Skype a couple of years ago, it was amazing.