Introducing me and a question about numbers

We chose the venue and date before inviting people. We drew up a guest list of those who we intended to invite and then looked at venues based on that number. Whilst we are aware that some won't come, as we are inviting people from Ireland, America, Canada and Australia, we figured that if we allow for the number we want to invite for the day, if people can't make it, we can bump people up from the evening to the day if we want to. I'm not sure there is a general rule of thumb for how many are likely to accept - I think it depends on too many things - where they are coming from, individual situations, time of year etc.

We sent out save the date cards just over a year before the date and were able to have conversations that way with people about whether they were likely to come or not. Those who have said they will be there were easy, but others, understandbaly have said they will need to see nearer the time. We'll send out the invites to those who are overseas around February time and hopefully people will give us a more solid answer then, but until the invites go out and we set a deadline for RSVPs, I'm not sure we can really expect people to definitely say that they willbe there or not unless they are part of the bridal party.

Sorry if that doesn't help much!

1) Generally, yes, you do set a date and choose a venue first. You can get an estimate of numbers just by doing a rough guest list; not everyone will come but at least you'll have an idea of the size of venue you should be looking at. If there are any people who it is particularly important for you to have there, it's worth running the date/place by them, but apart from that you wouldn't normally consult all your guests.

2) You don't say where you are now, so I don't know how far away Yorkshire is from there! Generally people will travel quite far for a wedding, especially if they're invited all day. We invited 82, 77 RSVP'd yes and 75 came on the day (OH's grandparents were unwell and couldn't make it).

3) Depends how close you are to them. Sending a "Save the Date" can work, or just bring up the topic and see how enthusiastically they respond. If they're close friends/family though, most people will generally want to come.

Welcome and i have done as follows

we wrote a list of who we would invite before looking for a venue we are getting married in a reg office that holds 120 so had to whittle that list down a bit and keep those people on a seperate sheet i intend to send invites out 6 months in advance so if some cant make it the reserve list can go out, sounds bad but they will all be invited to the eve as well anyway i am actually hoping some family will not come as i want my friends there more than distant relatives.

we needed enough room for 180 in the eve and luckily our reception venue can do exactly what we want sit down for 120 day quick turnaround then space for 180 eve

have you an idea of how many you will be inviting and are there those that you think would def not come but feel you need to invite, also holidays will be looming so maybe save the dates asap and from that people may say they wont be coming on ours we wrote Regrets to blah blah blah hth a little i do ramble lol x

We chose our venue first and were given total number capacity of both rooms in the hotel we got married in. We then did a list of who we would like to invite to the ceremony and meal, then a list of people to invite to the evening. We sent out our invites 2 months prior to our wedding and at the bottom put an RSVP date, however there will always be some you will need to chase up. Also bear in mind that we found out the day before that a couple of people that had said yes to attending couldnt make it, and another 2 on the day just didnt show.

As youve got 5 months to go, i would set a date, then go view a few venues. Have in mind an estimate of numbers though as various venues have different limits on the max number of people. Once you have your venue booked, sort your definate list of people to invite and send them out asap, this way you have given them plenty of time to let you know. I invited a total of 28 from my side and only 20 could attend. If you are having an evening reception too always invite more then the limit as there will be people who cant make it. Usually the venue need full payment 4 weeks prior so you will need to know numbers before this, however if after you have paid you find out some cannot make it (as we did) you dont usually get refunded for those.

hope this helps

Hello

There's been lots of sensible advice offered already so I probably can't add much......other than I was surprised at how venues differed in the number of guests that could be accommodated, so we did our guest list first and as we know them all very well we could pretty much say who would and who wouldn't attend. All my guests will be travelling from Yorkshire and will involve at least a one overnight stay. Once we were confident with the number of guest we would have we then looked at and booked our venue. From sending out our Save The Date, we have had none who said they can't attend, in fact a lot have already booked their accommodation!