Is it normal to feel so stressed i cry?

Bless you!

You are normal, dont worry!! I cry if there is too much cleaning to do and it all gets on top of me! I dont know what else to do but sit down, have a good old cry and scream at the OH and then i feel alot better!

you obviously have a lot on your plate at the moment!

Why dont you just take 1 day off of planning, DIY, NVQ and RELAX, go get your hair done or go for a coffee and cake and forget your worries for one day!

It will all look better in the morning and in the meantime, let it all out and cry away love!

x

Ok, take a breath!

Right:

1. Turning 30. You're not old. My H turned 30 last year and was the same, feeling really old etc. However, on the day, he woke up and realised he felt and acted exactly the same as the day before when he was in his 20s, and it really is just a number. Don't think about it.

2. Your dad and partner visiting/DIY - ok, do you have a spare room for them to sleep in, somewhere they can store their clothes and wash? Then that's fine. If your relationship with your dad is good enough you can have them stay for a month, then I'm sure it's good enough to let them see your house less than perfect. Is your dad good at DIY? Can he help out? My dad is over all the time helping H decorate etc and teaching him all the tricks!

3. The NVQ - you need to go in and speak to whoever is organising this at work and tell them you were told a year to complete, they can't expect you to do this all in a few months.

4. The AWOL vicar - it's a PITA I know when you want to get something sorted asap, and probably you're working and can't get hold of someone, but can you drive to the parish and see him in person? In most churches the vicar is around during the day to talk to parishoners (sp??). 8 weeks is plenty of time to sort this out. we needed a special license to get married outside our parish in the church we wanted (got married in my home town 2 hours from where we lived) and it didn't arrive until a week before the wedding!

5. Making the cake - don't. Go to Tesco/M&S (ask for recommendations on here) and get a couple of simple celebration ones, tie ribbon in your colours around it and put your bouquet next to it on the table. 2 of my friends have had these kind of cakes and they were yummy.

6. What wedding jobs are left to do? Are they really essential?

7. Pick up the phone, call your GP and make an appointment to discuss your missing periods. You sound so stressed I'm sure that's not helping. It takes a couple with no fertility issues up to a year or even 18 months to conceive.

Get yourself some Kalms and Rescue Remedy. My mum virtually force fed them to me the week leading up to my wedding and it really helped!

?

Right - first thing's first. You're normal. Well relatively normal anyway..... as normal as the rest of us hitchers. Does that make you feel better? Thought not!

DIY jobs. Make a list. Prioritise. What absolutely has to be done before you have guests and what is a bonus if you get it done? Make a list and allocate time in your diaries to complete the tasks!

30th birthday. A: You're not old! I'm 35 so if you're old, then I'm geriatric so stop making me feel bad!!! B: Tell your best friend/relative/someone that you'd like a surprise party... yes one that you know about! Give them some cash to buy drink and nibbles and ask if you can have it at their house. They can then invite all the relevant people and you won't have to do anything other than turn up. Alternatively if that isn't an option go out for a nice romantic meal with your fiance and drink champagne all day. Sorted!

NVQ: Can it be deferred for a year? It does sound as though you're going to struggle to complete that. I don't know how much work is involved, but can you kind of leave it until after the wedding if it can't be deferred? Speak to people at work and explain that you have too much on your plate. I'm sure something can be arranged.

Banns Certificate: Keep trying to get hold of your vicar. Is there a deputy vicar (can you tell I don't go to church?!) who you can speak to? Can you turn up at the vicarage? Maybe send a letter rather than phone? You will get hold of him. You have 8 weeks - I'm sure it won't take that long to sort out.

Cake: If you have no time to make it - go to M&S and order one from there. They're not too expensive and you I think should still have time. I'm making my own too - so I feel your pain!

Pill: I'm not sure what AF is. I do know what TTC means though - I'm rubbish at abbreviations. In fact I can't stop reading it as "I haven't had a F*** since before xmas" and I'm sure that can't be right! I do know that stress plays havoc with our hormones though and I'm willing to bet that when you are able to be a little calmer then things will sort themselves out. Please go to the doc if you're worried though.

To conclude: Yes you have a lot to do, but it isn't insurmountable. You are not in any way pathetic and I'll slap anyone who says you are!

We are here to help - so if we can do anything at all, then please just ask!

Ali x

Thanks ladies... i do feel a bit better now.

Ali, "AF" is "Aunt Flo" as in your period.... it made me chuckle at what you thought it meant! I've already been to the doctor about this, she sent me for a blood test to check hormone levels etc.. I've got an appointment on May 13th to get/discuss the results. I know the stress of the wedding can't be helping either. i'm just the sort of person that gets really wound up & paranoid that something serious is wrong, which i know does not help!

I have made a start on my NVQ and i think the lady assessing me should be coming in a couple of weeks to do an observation or something so i'll discuss it with her then and hopefully can put off doing too much towards it until after the wedding.

As for my birthday, i think we will prob just have a BBQ or something small at home with family. My H2B will have to sort it though cos i dont even want to think about it.

Whoever it was said about having my dad to stay and the house not needing to be perfect (sorry can't remember who it was and can't look back now i'm typing this!) - you've really hit the nail on the head there .. we've got a spare room for them to stay in so that's the only important thing but i'm a bit of a perfectioist anyway and this will be the first time my dad's seen us in our own house and i do want everything to be perfect. That's the trouble!

H2B has managed to get hold of the vicar and arrange the banns to be read, which is great. However they have to be read for 3 consecutive sunday's before the wedding (they are starting in the church we're marrying in this week) and the vicar where we live has said they will be done on 7th, 14th and 21st June - which is the final 3 sundays before the wedding. Should be fine i know, but this doesn't leave any room for manouevre should there be a problem. I'd feel much happier if they were starting this week or next, same as in the church we're marrying in (apparently we haven't been able to get hold of the vicar cos he's going into hosp to start chemo tomorrow ... now i feel even more pathetic!)

As for the cake, i think i may have to give in and get one from M&S or somewhere, though then i'll feel a bit let down cos i really wanted to be able to say i did the cake all myself.

God this all sounds a bit "woe is me" doesn't it. Sorry. Again ?

Banns - this is normal, for the 3 sundays before you get married. It will be ok. You've got over a month! Someone should be available to cover for the vicar in his absence, you might want to ask for a number of who will.

It was me who said about your dad. I know how you feel, I hated that the first time two of our close friends saw our new house it wasn't that tidy (we'd done our best but I was suffering with horrendous morning sickness and was in bed as soon as I got in from work every night so no time/energy!), and there were big plastered patches where we'd just had the house rewired. I'd wanted them in a beautiful guest room with a basket of lovely toiletries, fluffy towels and all sorts, and all it had was the bed, one bedside table and old desk lamp, and peeling paint under the window where we have a big condensation problem. And the world didn't cave in and they are still two of our best friends ? Your dad won't judge you!

No one will care about the cake. I loved ours, it looked beautiful and tasted nice but really no better than the shop bought ones and I occasionally wonder if maybe we should have just done that instead. Just don't tell people where it was from!

Finally, try not to worry about time constraints. If it helps, one week before my wedding we turned up to get the suits to discover that the wrong waistcoats and ties had been ordered for my dad and brother, and my brother had the wrong size trousers. We had new ones collected by the Thursday. Oh, and at our wedding rehearsal, later that day, the vicar announced to us he was unwell and not able to do our ceremony but here was the person covering. Things happen and they are dealt with. It will be ok.

Oh my god! are you MAD!! Delegate woman! Sit down with a cuppa, write a list of absolutely everything that needs doing and then divide it up between you, OH and anybody else such as mum, sisters, brothers etc. DO not take all of it on yourself and as for all of the DIY jobs if they don't all get done it doesn't matter- your dad wants to see you -not the bricks and mortar you live in!

Good luck but remember it's not the end of the world if something is left undone!

Have a hug ?