Is the best man essential?

I think its up to the individual groom -it's important to mine. He doesn't have any real official duties, its just moral support.

We're not having a best man - H2B isn't really close enough to anyone to ask. My brother will be a ring-bearer instead (H2B is an only child, hence my brother doing it).

Its not like they have a specific job - as far as I can make out, ours is just making up numbers on H2Bs side of the aisle to balance out my bridesmaids!!

I think as long as you have other people there who can be in charge of the ring and help out on the day with any last minute niggles then not necessarily. I've also known people to have 'best women' instead of men...women are much more reliable anyway ; )

Ha ha! I wouldn't trust either with the rings. At the moment they'ed probably end up being hurled across church in a fit of anger!

My only thought would be that if your H2B feels that this is the only person he would want/feel able to ask to be his best man, then it is probably a friendship worth patching up. it is one thing to not want a best man, but it is another to feel that there is nobody you can ask ☹️. Friends are important.

I don't thinkit's essential, as some of the others have said, it's mostly about having someone there as moral support, and who can help with arrangements on the day should anything need doing. Could his Dad do it?

I am trying to suggest to H2B that they meet up next week when things have cooled but he keeps telling me that whatever he (H2B) does its never the right thing, everyone is getting at him etc etc so he's obviosuly really upset in an 'I am not admitting it, I am going to shout a you way' so still a little early to pursue this line!

Whats scary is that it wasn't out and out insulting (easier to sort out) but his Bman put H2B down in a very calculated way which had me fuming too. Bman has become a right whinging, profiting git and H2B not the only one to notice but seen as I think 'the change' is related Bman's girlfriend who will shortly to be his wife (who doesn't, we suspect, like us) I can't see it getting better.

I think his dad could bear a ring (?) otherwise H2B has no brothers or cousins or people he has known long enough. Prob is we don't have any ushers for the same reasons! Might have to get a few lady friends involved but they're all my side! I am taking over the wedding!!

Our 10 year old son is our best man but he wants us to call him 'best kid'.

His only role will be to give us the rings.

We had 3 because my H couldn't decide! But he gave them all a different task: 1 signed the register, 1 held the rings, the 3rd conducted our humanist ceremony.

But no he doesn't need a best man but you both need 1 or 2 witnesses, someone to hold the rings, someone to help arrange the stag do and traditionally someone to do a speech representing his side as your father represents yours.

Ours cried the whole day anyway ?. I think H2B was glad he had him there though.

My H2B thinks he is very essential. I think he is just a selfish waste of space and he has cost us money. Apart from the obvious like the meal we have paid for his suit hire and hotel room. I expect we will be paying for his drinks all night as well.

Blimey - I thought my H2B was going OTT with having 2 Best Men! - Ours are looking after 1 ring each, doing the speech together, and H2B's Dad is being his witness to avoid having to decide which one to ask.

Kate82 - could your H2B explain to his Dad the situation, ask him if he could do the speech, look after the rings - but explain that if he patches things up with his friend some of the duties might go back to him?

His dads one of those few words men so can't see him giving a speech! Stag do is already planned as it will be in the local so no strippers to book etc, i am sure his sis (if she's not having a baby and is not there) will ring bear other than that, it may well have to be a bit lopsided.

Cheers for all your suggestions though x