Is the pressure to look perfect on your big day too much when you find yourself looking up botox and collagen fillers?

I don't have any of these sort of feelings. Give yourself some credit. If you didn't need them before, you won't need them for this. Your guests know and love you for who you are, I don't think they want to see some fake trollopy version of you. Give them and your H2B your true self, that's who they'll expect and be glad to see.

It does feel like a lot of pressure to look perfect. I think getting decent hair and make up that you are happy with plus a gorgeous dress is more than enough.

Being the wrong side of thirty i had loads of worries in the run up to my day but in the end the only thing i got was my teeth whitened. I really thought i would go for the fake tan and eyelash extensions etc as they look great on other brides but in the end i just got shellac nails and extra nice make up and felt really good on the day.

I'm feeling awful pressure not to look like a whale in a dress. I'm overweight with horrible skin and not what i would consider pretty. I've just joined the gym and am considering all sorts of spa treatments that a year ago i would have thought were a waste of money.

Facials and full body scrub wraps anyone?!

Shush it. You are pretty DWC.

I have to admit, I didn't feel and pressure to look perfect. H fell in love with me looking like a pink haired beast, so that's who he was going to marry.

Didn't want to make myself look pretty, he'd wonder who the chuff he was marrying...

? don't be silly! you're lovely and he's a damned lucky guy!

thanks for the compliment as well

DWC, you are very pretty, be kind to yourself.

WAnting to look good for yourself is one thing but looking good for others is different. I know I'll want to look the best I can, and I know what that is, whether I achieve it or not is different! I'm in the process of trying to get fit/loose weight as I still have weight on me from having my son 2 years ago. I know I'll get there because I have the motivation too.

I also have terrible skin, PCOS spots, so I'll be booking a make up artist so I can look my best.

Surgery is a step too far but I can understand it. I'm considering slightly potty ideas like getting the little fuzzy hairs on my fingers waxed so they don't look hairy in the photos ?

This is true. There is no way he'd find anyone else daft enough to marry him (apart from his first wife) ?

Yes and no. I've lost a lot of weight - I needed to for health reasons but the wedding was my biggest motivator. I'm having a few facials in the run up to the wedding and having my hair/eyebrows/eyelashes/nails done but I won't be even contemplating anything like botox. It's just not me.

This - apart from the pink haired beast bit OH sees you looking like you every single day and wants to marry you - do you really think he'd love you anymore if you spent hundreds trying to look the part?

I know we all have days where we'd love to be perfect but you just have to remember that it doesn't exist!

There is no such thing as perfect!

I don't see anything wrong with cosmetic surgery, I have lots of friends that have had things done and it has made them more comfortable and confident with themselves. But none of them just divide into it, they took time to research it all.

I do think its a little much to get in done just for your Wedding Day, if it's something that has bothered you for along time and you cringe when you see pictures of yourself then yes seriously look into it, but just because of peer presure or what others 'may' think seems crazy.

Your OH is marrying and loves you just how you are, thats the important thing not what others think ?

I agree there's no such thing as perfect but i hate photos of myself, and being in a dress, dolled up and having hundreds of photos of me is not my idea of fun really. I would much rather scrape my hair back, run a cleansing wipe over my face, throw on some leggings and a jersey dress and go out like that. Unfortunately, because that's always been my policy till now, i'm overweight, my skin is both somehow dry and oily at the same time, and my hair has split ends and is a mousy brown.

I'm doing something about it now to try and look my best on the day, because otherwise i'm going to look back at my photos and hate what i see, and who wants that from their wedding photos?! But i am feeling pressure to be that way as well, no point denying it. I see lots of photos of models in wedding dresses, or the lovely photos of lovely slim brides on here and think 'i wish i was that pretty'

I want to look my best for me and my OH but not so much so that I am considering any invasive treatments like botox. Not that I'm against them but they just arent for me.

I am having a few facials and massages which I dont normally do but mainly because I think if I cant treat myself for my wedding when can I. I want to look like me in any pictures we have and not a different version that I wont recognise in years to come but also be happy with how I look in them.

I thought about getting braces a few months back, have never worried about my teeth before...didn't do it in the end!

I'm feeling the pressure to look good, I'm having my hair and make up done and am also using sun beds just to build up a bit of colour don't want to risk a spray tan! Would love to get my teeth done but don't think I can squeeze it into the budget.

It's just the thought that all eye's are on me, I'm not a me me me person I hate having my photo taken as I don't photograph well. Hopefully when the day arrives I'll stop panicking

The only pressure I'm feeling is from myself! I always pride myself on making an effort for my appearance. Before a big family wedding, I'll have a spray tan and get my hair and nails done, so my own wedding is just a natural progression from that!

The only additional thing I need to do is get some teeth whitening strips. My teeth are slightly discoloured because I drink a lot of diet coke and coffee and I'm always conscious of them in photos. Your wedding photos are something you'll look back on when you're old and grey and think "wow, I looked good back then".

You're using sun beds because you dont want to risk a spray tan?!?

Ridiculous.

Re the OP - I never felt any pressure. I lost weight, had a professional makeup artist, hair extensions, fake tan, eyelash extensions - the lot! This is normal for me though.

The only think I want do for the wedding is whitening my teeth.

I would never use a sun bed, and tans just don't stay on me, I might try a spray tan before the wedding.

OP - as for botox I wouldn't go anywhere near it, not enough is known about it to be honest, after all it is a bacteria injected into your body no thanks! but if its what you want then do it but do it for you not for others!

If people didn't care about their appearance they wouldn't even pay to have their hair, nails and make up done.

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I've never worn make up ever and I only get my hair cut once or twice a year... but I've been looking at getting someone to do my make up for the wedding. That's as extreme for me as getting botox would be for other people.

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There's nothing wrong with wanting to look great for your wedding, but if you'd be embarrassed if other people found out what you've done to beautify yourself, then you're possibly going a bit far.

I feel a bit of pressure but not enough to make me have Botox - imagine if it went totally wrong ? or sunbeds - skin cancer! For me I just need a good make up artist, hairdresser, bit of fake tan and away we go...pretty much anyway.

I don't feel under pressure from anybody else - to be honest it's more for myself that I want to look amazing on the day!

I have been thinking about having stuff done, but it's stuff that I would have liked to have done anyway. I went to see the dentist about getting veneers (I have nice teeth but the top middle 4 are too small IMO). The dentist advised me against it saying my features are too "delicate" for bigger teeth !?! I will get my teeth whitened though. I'll also be going all out on the hair / makeup / spray tan / false lashes and probably some hair extensions.

I do wear make up every day though and more when I go out, so it's not as if it will be a massive departure from how I normally look.

Forgive me for sounding like Oprah here ? but if you don't love yourself for who you are and embrace the bits you don't like about yourself (we ALL have them) then you will never see youself as beautiful...now or in 20 years. It is total cheesiness but it's so true that beauty is totally and utterly an internal thing and very much in the eye of your beholder. Your OH loves you so much he wants to keep you forever. What's not beautiful about that?!

Re the OP I have also had these crazy moments and find I am losing sight of myself amidst the pressure to look fabulous but have you ever seen a bride who doesn't look utterly glowingly fabulous on her big day?? I doubt it's anything to do with tans, nails, hair extensions, botox....I would say it's pure joy and happiness!

*Returns to the U.S of A clappy happy society of personal wellbeing* ?

To be fair though Mrs D, you can't say that in 20 years i'm still not going to feel beautiful because i don't now. you might be right, but at least i'm doing something to try to help myself feel better and thats got to count for something right?

Everyone feels pressure to a certain point. I feel it mostly due to my friends , i loves them dearly and i know they love me. But my friends are very glamorous looking big fake hair , fake tan, fake lashes , fake boobs , you name it they have it.

Now when i go out i do join them and have the same sort of look but most of the times im in casual clothes with my hair pulled up , as im a mummy to two i just dont have the time.

SO on my wedding day i know they go ott glam , so i feel like the only way i can top themis to look perfect, however who is perfect?

I dont think anyone should go down the botox ave for anyone else apart from their selves.

I know i wont , my partner loves me how i am warts and all ( just to be clear i dont have warts lol ) x

So long as you feel beautiful about yourself one day DWC!! It's the ideal really and something that's incredibly difficult to live up to. I certainly don't admit to finding myself beautiful on a daily basis!! However after years of cripplingly low self esteem I started to realise that the negative messages I give myself all the time (I'm not this/not that/not as beautiful as her) weren't helping me any. By replacing those negative messages with something more positive has certainly helped me. I love that quote in that 'always wear sunscreen song' that says when you are old you'll look back at yourself looking so young and fabulous and wonder why you spent so much time worrying. Our 'youth' is finite and happiness most certainly comes from within.

I'm definitely having botox before mine! I'm only 25 (a couple of weeks away from 26) but I have really bad forehead lines which are constantly visible and make me extremely self concious and know that, for me, those lines will ruin my photos. I find myself instantly more confident as soon as the botox kicks in but that's my opinion on it.

If you weren't getting married would you even be thinking of having it?

I'd rather get a fringe cut than have botox. I don't think it's worth the risk of injecting yourself with poison and I think it's too addictive, who would want to go back to having wrinkles after getting it done?

I did laugh at the person who commented about waxing their fingers as I've thought about it too. I'm 99% sure no one else would ever notice but I might end up doing it at the same time as my legs just to be sure! ?

In all seriousness the only thing I would get done is my teeth but I can't afford it so will just try some whitening strips. If I win the lottery though it would be top of my list.

i have felt lots of presure, (i have even looked up boob job prices, not that i can afford it!) like many of the replys say my oh has seen me in alsorts of states so im not sure if its presure to look good for him or everyone else! i have 2 children so i find the fact that everyone assumes the bride will look her most beautiful on her wedding day a bit of a lie...that day for me is over 10 years ago!

Step away from the computer.

Seriously though, you really don't need that. Everyone feels the need to look amazing, but your OH already loves how you look, once dressed up and hair done etc he will think you are the most gorgeous woman on Earth.

Plus, I personally wouldnt want to risk something going wrong and looking a mess or worse feeling awful on my day. Natural beauty wins in my personal opinion.

There are too many horror stories about surgery that put me off. I would not want to risk doing any damage to myself.

I might be in the minority but I am not worried at all and don't feel under any pressure to look good. Maybe it is because I stand up and talk to hundreds of kids and staff in assembly and lead staff meetings so I am more used to having eyes on me than others might be? More a confidence thing than a beauty thing.

I think when I do myself up a bit I look OK, I personally don't think I am beautiful or attractive really but I know my OH and family all think I am. So surely on my wedding day with a professional MUA and stylist I will look awesome and knock out in their eyes!

I was intending to do my own hair and make up, so me hiring people for those things is like my version of botox I suppose, and the most extreme preparations were my nails, but I used to get them done anyway and let it lapse for a couple of years.

Thanks folks for the nice comments and advice, think I must just have been feeling a little self conscious?

Yous are right ppl are coming to my wedding who know me, why wud they want to see the 'TOWIE' version,,,,,I will just do the normal thing and try look the best I can on the day

xxx

When I say risk a spray tan I reffering to the fact I had one recently and it was awful, I totally agree that sun beds are not the best option and am not one for using them I just want to get a little bit of colour not bake and look completly odd as I'm quite pale. I use sun cream when using them which might to some seem pointless but I like to think of it as a little extra bit of protection.