Is this as twee* as I think you'll find it?

Where do you legally stand??? the marriage notice needs your true names and details of parents names for the Census. I wouldnt combine names personally, I think it would be a shame to lose your identity in thsi way..... but you'd need to change your name by deed poll prior to marraige surely?

You would have to both do it afterwards (or before) via deedpoll as far as I'm aware. xx

Not sure of the legal implications, but once you're married, know would know anyway!! Everyone would just assume that it was your H2Bs surname before marriage,

I think the level of tweeness would depend on how you tell other people. i.e. if you're quite matter of fact like how you've explained it above, it doesn't come across as twee.

We would change them by deed poll after if we went ahead. In 5 or 10 years time no-one would ever know what we've done.

Well, yes eventually people would know as your birth certificate and marriage certificates are true to who you both are at present. When you see your notice of marriage forms you are asked for information pertaining to your parents so one day, it could all come out.... if i thought myparents had created their surnames i would be very interested, for one!

We wouldn't hide it from people, that would be strange! Any kids we may/may not have would most likely work it out themselves when they realise they have different surnames from grandparents, aunts and uncles etc. I meant more that people we meet in years to come would never know (well not initially) that we'd created our surnames, it's only friends and family now that may disapprove (wrong word).

We're actually quite glad that we could be traced back (via birth/marriage certs) as one hesitation we have is that 2 or 3 generations down the line wouldn't be able to trace back their heritage.

At least we still have a few months to decide before we put the wheels in motion.

I think that's a lovely idea, good for you! Really personal and it would really 'join' you as a couple...you both change from the date of the wedding and become one (schmaltzy I know). I have no problems with taking my OH's name but I can really see the appeal with this idea :o)

Sorry, i am going to go against the grain. i think it is twee, and although you might have a link to each other, there's little link to your families, which i think is quite sad. i could understand more if you had both had troubled childhoods and wanted to leave that behind (which you haven't mentioned is the case) but i think just disliking the name wouldn't be enough to make me want to completely leave it all behind.

just my opinion - hope it doesn't offend too much.

H and I seriously considered doing this, I was the last in the line of our family with that surname and I didn't really like H's. We didn't in the end, we went with the double barrelling, but found the best way to do it was if H had changed his name to the new name before we were married, then when we got married I would just take his new name.

Thanks Bluewater, not offended at all, I did ask for opinions!

Re link to families, there is no reason we want to leave them behind for the types of reasons you mention. Although if I were to take his name, or him mine, one of us would be leaving their name behind anyway. I take your point about it being sad to leave both our family names behind though, even more so if we chose a completely new name (i.e. notmerging names) with less logic to it .

I can't help but think if someone asked me the same question my gut reaction would be it is twee.

We did start on this whole name as a joke, but then the more we thought about it the more it seemed like a possible approach.

This thought had crossed my mind. I assume he'd need to do it quite far in advance for church/legal documentation reasons, don't know if you looked into it that far?

not necessarily - i am taking h2b's name as a surname and making my maiden name a middle name. he's taking my maiden name as a middle name for him. (our surnames do not make for a nice double barelled surname!) we just thought that was a nice touch.

i can't think what the solution is tbh apart from a whole new surname, but my gut reaction is still that it is twee. i guess over time that might fade....

Our names are not really suitable for middle names either unfortunately.

It's such a life long deicion to make, I quite like the idea now but just worry I might regret it in years to come. For me it's not so much of an issue because I'd be changing my name anway and the new name is most like mine, it's really down to h2b and it was his suggestion in the first place (he had a really long train journey up north a couple of weeks ago so went through all 100 or so combinations of our names until he found something he liked?

You know what - I don't think it's twee, and I thought I would. From what you've said, it does sound like a good solution. I mean don't people change their names all the time?

If it works for both of you, then I'd say just go for it!

Although I would obviously see what your families say as they might be offended?