Is this just being tight ?

You don't have to get anyone gifts I went to a wedding recently and they didn't it's totally down to you, plus I would imagine your parents would rather you put the money into your perfect day xx

No im sure our parents wont care at all but can imagine my sister making sure everyone will know i didnt get anyone gifts or flowers :/

If she is happy to pay for her own dress and flowers then tell her you will use that for the gift!!

At the end of the day a nice card is all that is needed I think

^ you are completely right , I will get them all cards and obviously say thanks for all the help etc... My sister maybe for gets its me that has bought her hair accessories, her jewellery , dress, her bag.....

I dunno I know she is right in some ways but I just dont want to spend on things where people wouldnt really care

WSS

I think giving them one of the table decorations/jugs with label is a lovely idea too - don't feel any pressure to do stuff. Your sister/MoH should be supporting your plans/decisions not undermining them and making you feel bad

She makes it her job to bring me down a few pegs lol

3 of the 4 bouquets have already been promised to our grandads that have passed and my cousin who died of SIDS .

I think i will offer them a jug tho

will still have 6 left then

I think a card which you've written yourself is perfect - but to put your mind at rest, why not give the mums and nans a special favour at their place setting, a little box of chocs from Thorntons (and I mean the little ones with 5 or 6 special chocs in) would only set you back three pounds each. You could prop their card up on the box and then everyone will 'see' the effort you've made and anything your sister says won't make a blind bit of difference. I've 'known' you since you joined Hitched and you always come across as such a nice person, I'm sure you've made it abundantly clear how much you appreciate any help you've had and a lovely card (and chox if you choose to) will just be an extra gesture on top of that.

I've never really understood why the tradition is to give the mum's flowers when the entire room is filled with them!! I think the centrepiece idea is lovely xx

Aww thanks Gurzle ... but i aint that nice lol......Neither mothers like chocs but i am sure with all the other bits i have in my wedding they wont notice... also we arent really having a sit down meal , so no place settings x

I do have individual cupcakes for all our guest so maybe i can ask the lady to make personalised ones of them :/

I have never really thought of it like that Vintage but you are right x

.

With everything you say about your wedding, speeches, meal etc, I really wouldn't worry about giving gifts. There won't be an obvious time where people might expect gifts to be given. I agree about cards, and I think that will mean more to them than you spending money you don't have. with regrads to cards, I got my mum and dad a card personalised with little people on that looked like them in their wedding outfits. Yes it was twee but they loved it and my dad had tears in his eyes reading the words we wrote.

I think you can get some beautiful artificial flowers these days so if it saves you money it is a good option. As for the gifts if you don't have the money now a framed photo after the wedding would be lovely. Gifts don't have to be given during the speeches so I wouldn't worry. Don't get into debt just to pacify your sister.

Not at all tight. I think the jug idea is perfectly fine. The people who matter should not expect a huge gesture especially if they know you're on a budget

Thanks all, x

I always think it's nice to recognise someone for something they've done to help. It's not about the public recognition or the "glory" of being thanked in speeches, it's about someone appreciating that you've put in hard work and effort to help them. To me, a nice handwritten card, thanking me for what I'd done would be far more appreciated than a gift, especially if I knew you were on a tight budget.

Can you make things? Something handmade and personal is always apprecaited.

We didn't give any gifts other than best man and maid of honour, which were done in private on the morning of the wedding.

I have just ordered photobook albums (just cheapie £15 each ones) as a thank you for some people - think it's nicer to have something to keep.

Well i asked my mum straight out and she said that she would hope i wouldnt even let such a small thing bother me and that she would have never expect any gifts as the day will be such a happy day for her it doesnt matter # x

Giving people gifts at wedding seems to be a new thing and another way of spending a fortune. I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and presents were given to parents, bestman, bridesmaids, ushers and children (such a waste of money0 and i'm sure they all got a favor to. I think a small token to anybody who has perhaps contributed money to the wedding and been a great help. I was a bridesmaid 2 year ago and i didn't receive a present nor did i expect one

It's your wedding and you should do what you want to do! Our florists were the people who actually suggested that we give away our centrepieces as gifts to help keep costs down and they know that a lot of couples now do this. Getting married is expensive enough as it is without having to worry about buying people gifts. If you feel you would like to get some people a thank you gift, I think that a card or something really small like some of the other girls on here have mentioned is enough. I agree with you - the bridesmaids get a dress, shoes, hair, make-up etc brought for them which in itself adds up to quite a bit! I'm MOH for my best friend in Sept and I have got quite involved helping her with bits but I'm not expecting a huge thank you gift on the day as I know she has already spent out a lot getting me and the other bridesmaid all of our bits. When I get married next year my 3 BMs won't be getting huge thank you presents from us - maybe I'm being harsh but being part of our day, getting all of your outfit paid for and then enjoying a 3 course meal and evening buffet should be enough lol! xx

I agree with the others, i'm sure your parents would prefer you to put the money towards the wedding rather than waste your money on something big and flashy. Small gestures always mean more anyway ?

We gave all our gifts in private on the morning of the wedding, H to his parents, me to mine. Me to bridesmaids, him to ushers and best man.I dont see the need for the public showiness of it all. So as far as I'm concerned no one needs to know if you have given anything or you havent. Incidentally, as others have said it was the cards we gave with the heartfelt words to our parents that meant the most. We got similar ones to Lisa, with personalised outfits on I think they were from ebay and they were over the moon with them.