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Beginner January 1999

is this silly? **UPDATE**

irrelephant, 29 September, 2009 at 13:17

Posted on Planning 33

I know this isn't a big deal but its been nagging at my mind for two nights now and i feel quite hurt and slightly betrayed and just need to tell someone and get it off my chest. This weekend i was back at uni and out with the society that we run. There were a lot of freshers there who i'd known for...

I know this isn't a big deal but its been nagging at my mind for two nights now and i feel quite hurt and slightly betrayed and just need to tell someone and get it off my chest.

This weekend i was back at uni and out with the society that we run. There were a lot of freshers there who i'd known for about four or five days and inevitably the question about boyfriends/girlfriends etc came up and one girl asked if i was engaged and asked for the proposal story. I told her and then at the end my housemate pipes up 'but of course she forced him into getting engaged' meaning that i'd made mr delicious propose to me. I was shocked that she would say that, but especially in front of people who don't know me that well. I don't know if she really thinks that but when i protested that i hadn't and that he'd chosen to propose to me she kept saying 'but you did force him into it' and she only shut up when our other housemates backed me up saying that mr delicious had told them about it before we'd even thought of buying the ring.

Its a silly thing to be upset about i know. But she's supposed to be one of my best friends and she has said several upsetting things to me this week ☹️ i feel a bit like she thinks its ok to leave me out of things or say things because i'm with mr delicious and therefore i don't matter as much as her and our other housemates who are all single.

I really don't want to talk to her at the moment but can't avoid it. I don't know if i'm being unreasonable to be upset about it or whether i'm just tired and over reacting.

**UPDATE**

well she's done it again twice and has really upset me this time. On wednesday night she had been drinking with some other friends again and i can't even remember why she said it but she said that mr delicious was so camp he was almost gay. When i said that wasn't true, she said 'well he might be a man in the bed room but he's been camp since i met him' and kept going on that he was camp. I was not impressed and pretty sure i looked it because when i sat back she shut up.

Then again today i was sat in uni with her, my other housemate and some acquaintances off my course. i was telling a story about how mr delicious had told me off for being silly and i said 'oh he was pretending to shout at me' she pipes up 'mr delicious would never shout at you. You just nag him all the time!' and when i said i didn't she came back with 'you're always nagging him, getting him to do stuff or telling him not to do it one way or the other' and i was really annoyed with her but didn't say anything because we were with people. But our friends all looked pretty shocked at the way she had turned on me and one bloke muttered under his breath to me 'well thats one way to know who your friends are'. That really upset me because its the second time she's said it in front of people when it wasn't called for. And today of all days when i'm grieving for my uncle. My other friend and i left shortly after and i burst into tears. I couldn't help it!

I have no idea why she's turning on me like this now, but i simply can't talk to her. She keeps trying to speak to me but i'm giving her minimum answers and have been sat in my room alone since 5pm whilst mr delicious did some other stuff FOR HER! She asked him to do stuff for her! I said he might as well do it for harmony's sake. But i don't know whether she knows she's upsetting me which is just cruel, or whether she genuinely doesn't know she's upsetting me which is pretty stupid and insensitive of her. I also don't feel i can say anything to her because it will cause an argument and i really don't have the time or energy for that. My other housemates think i should say something but i wouldn't know what to say.

C thinks she's quite possibly jealous of me and mr delicious. But its pathetic if she is.

33 replies

  • moomin8804
    Beginner July 2009
    moomin8804 ·
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    I've just read the whole thread and your update, i agree with what others have said, she's just jealous of what you and mr delicious have, and the fact that you've found each other so early on in your lives!

    I was at uni when my H proposed to me a few years ago, and i found that some of my peers were very surprised by it. Some even said to me that i was too young, how did i know he was the one? etc etc! I didn't care what they said, i knew he was the one, always has been!

    I think you need to sit down with this girl and have a proper talk, don't ask her "are you annoyed with me" like you have done, be direct and point out what she has said and how it has upset you. You are clearly not being silly here as from what you have said in your posts, the others in your grioup have picked up on her nasty comments too!

    Jealousy is a horrible thing isn't it?

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  • sdwrds
    Beginner July 2010
    sdwrds ·
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    I've just read the whole discussion for the first time and totally agree with everything that has been said. My first thought was that she fancies Mr D and maybe has been having feelings for him for a while. Then I decided she was jealous and then I agreed with the wet fish slapping (excellent photo there girls).

    I've just recently left Uni myself and I found that the stress of your third year can effect people in different ways. I also made some additional friends on my course in my third year and hardly spoke to some that I was close to the previous 2 years. If it was me in this situation, I would just avoid her and wait for her to explain her attitude to me but I know if she kept making little snidey comments, I would give it to her straight !!! If you push me too far, I just gooooo ?

    Hope things start getting better soon. Just think less than 12 months left now ?

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