Is this strange? Or is it me?

I want to say you're right for being thrown, I do but it actually sounds like your mum's being quite smart and killing two birds with one stone. It's so easy to make assumptions about what people will do when it comes to your wedding. It is wise to try and get your mum and dad in the same room together before the actual day but I wouldn't worry if this doesn't happen. I'd wait for her reply and then see what you think but as long as she's there on the day and doesn't somehow try to wangle an invite for the son etc. then I think that's all that matters.

x

WBWCS about 2 birds 1 stone

would you consider having the son and his family to the do the night before?

I wouldn't say it was strange but i can understand if you are disappointed about not seeing your Mum the day before. My Mum and I went and had our hair and nails done and then in the evening we went out for a meal, just the two of us. I would have been gutted if i hadn't have done that. It's a difficult one because it's also the Sons bday so they might want to see him on his special occasion too.

You know as a wider background me, my mum, my dad & sister do not have the best relationships and I do seem to be letting the wedding kind of hold a microscope to that and find myself lying awake at night thinking it all through which has got to stop. Luckily I have an amazing H2B and awesome friends!

I can see the point about killing 2 birds though I hope mum will attend the pre-wedding gathering we are planning. I'm pretty sure she will. I don't think its appropriate for her partner's family too as well as it's an introductory meeting for the wedding guests and it wouldn't feel right to me. However, if it did turn out to be super important to mum for some reason yet to be disclosed then I would look to compromise on this. Let's face it in a whirl of nerves and greeting guests I probably wouldn't even notice them!

I guess I would have something to complain about if she was trying to wangle an invite but I don't think she would.

Thanks for letting me think this through out loud!

You know I don't have that kind of relationship with my mum - although I used to before she met her partner! I wonder if that is part of what is at work in my feelings over this.

You are right about the son's bday.

I understand about the microscope thing. But try to focus on what the event is really about. It's not the opportunity to bring you all closer, nor to make amends for past events - these things sometimes happen as a by product of the occasion. It's just about you and your lovely H2B becoming each others new family and hopefully avoiding all the crap that has made you feel this way. (Believe me I know how you feel).

x

Sorry, i didn't know. I hope it works out for you.

I didn't mean it as in you Spring should know that! Turn of phrase - I tend to start sentences with 'you know'! Sorry. ?

Thanks BWC - I do try to focus on that and it makes me feel all gooey inside in a way most unlike me!

No worries Amethyst. It's hard to read the tone sometimes but i didn't read it like that so don't worry.

Are you going to be with anyone close the night before?

Yes hopefully my best friend and her daughter. Thinking of renting a v. old one bed cottage for the weekend and if I have to sleep in there on my own the night before I will not get any sleep whatsoever.

Or possibly my sister but then she isn't speaking to me at the moment - whole other story!