Is this too cheap for a wedding reception?

Mines similarly priced but as I'm catering for around 120 guests and my MIL is paying, I didn't want to take the urine. I never wanted a formal wedding and Wedding breakfast so it fits perfectly. People may moan, hopefully not to our face, but so be it. They should be happy that they have been asked to attend our day. Stuff what anybody else thinks, decide with your H2B what you want.

Edited to add - Mine is being supplied by an outside caterer, completely unrelated to my venue. Not sure if this makes a difference or not though :/

It shouldn't matter how much your food is. We are paying £20 per head and having sausage & mash! Its our favourite meal and if people dont think its 'fancy' enough then they can stuff it!

You have several issues here - dont roll them into one issue

- the cost of the food / venue / quality, and the value for money is one debate

- what you and your H2B want is another

- what your future MIL wants is another story completly

You need to move to a place where you two are making the decisions, and basing them on your own values and reasoning, not anyone elses.

What do you feel about the venue, the pricing and the quality?

I can only give you details of what would be right for me and OH but what I wanted to say more than my opinion is that, utimately, it's your (& Ohs) day - and so big fat asses to anyone who doesn't want to go along with what you want.

My personal opinion would be that - me and OH put quality over price everytime where food is concerned, so a full one course sit down meal at £10-£15 a head wouldn't work for us - I can't think of one meal out we would eat in "normal" life which would come in at that price, even a quick bite at a convinence place like Pizza express costs more than that, but as I said, we are a bit food obsessed with little else to spend our cash on.

There's a few problems with her reasoning. £15 per main course in a restaurant would indicate a reasonable standard. Mark ups on 'wedding food' do not indicate an increase in food quality. Wedding food is more expensive because hotels can get away with charging more. My venue is a restaurant and charges approx £20 for a normal main (posh meats aside). This might be cheap by wedding standards but it's a great restaurant that appears in the Michelin guide. Finally, simple tastes does not mean cheap, as you can always buy better quality ingredients.

Pizza Express more than £15 for one course? Where do you live???

It's more than £10 I believe.?

Nobody else should make the decisions except you and your partner, unless you invite other people to have an input in some aspects of the day, and even then you both still have the overriding vote.

Whether you are paying for it all, or parents are helping, should not make a difference. Any parental financial input should not be 'conditional' on them having a say in what happens.

It's your day, and if someone else doesn't like what you and your h2b want, then that's really their problem, not yours.

Why do so many parents make their children's weddings so complicated and stressful???

I think for me the price isn't relevant as much, if I could eat at a more expensive restaurant without making them completely redesign their menu then we have the budget for that. I once had a meal at a more upmarket restaurant that cost £28 and if I had taken off everything I didn't like there would be virtually nothing left on the plate and the waitress said that they have a policy of not swapping items on the menu.

I think the message of 'it's our day' is one to remember, but when I have both mothers complaining at me it's not easy.

I think it's your wedding and you should have the day you want, not what your MIL wants.

Somewhat ironically, an 'upmarket' restaurant should be more than capable of redesigning a dish to suit your tastes so why the reluctance to commission that? Can I check what meal you want? I mean, are we talking about a plate of spuds here?

If the food is good and wholesome how will your guests know how much it costs. Some of the best meals I have had have been in that price range for a main course or a prix fix with 2-3 courses for similar so don't get too hung up on price. If you like the food then go for it.

However I think MIL maybe feels disappointed in not getting her big day which all parents look forward to at some stage, so may have issues with that. Is she paying or contributing in any way?

Why does wedding food have to be expensive?? We wanted a small wedding and didn't want to be spending a fortune on one day. We are getting married in a registry office with 19 guests and then moving on to a lovely restaurant where we have hired the 'sun room' so we will be on our own. It's actually just a nice pub where everyone can feel relaxed and order what they want to eat from a range of choices, not just a couple of dishes from a set menu. The meals range from £6.50 up to £19.50 but if people are ordering what they want, I don't care if they choose the lower priced meal or the higher priced meal!

Do what you feel is right for you and your partner. Yes, your MIL can have an opinion but that's all it is and don't feel as though you have to change the whole thing because of it.

Totally agree with you on the "your way" - that's all you have to remember. Sorry, but again, I strongly disagree with costing - I believe you get what you pay for, and if you are willing to pay enough, you should find you can have whatever you want. Sounds like the place you went have REALLY bad customer service - no wonder you don't fancy going back.!!

Incidentally what food would be included in that kind of cost?

It is soooo difficult but try & remember its YOUR day no one else's!!!! You want to rememebr the day for all the right reasons & not for wishing you enjoyed a meal etc etc. If you want to book somewhere fancy the menu should be no issue at all. We are having very basic soup, roast dinner & choice of desserts. We will want a good meal after all the adrenaline & excitement & to keep us going to party into the night. To be honest you should go with what you love & want not what everyone else says!!! if they don't like it don't come!!!! hahahah. When the day comes they will forget a about what they said anyway & will just be there to celebrate with you. Keep smiling ;-)

P.s - I am also a fussy eater - I literally want meat plus side dish (not touching - seperate) - no sauces, no messing with my food, no dressing, no stuffing, no garnishes etc so totally get that you want to go somewhere you know you will eat. Everytime I go out to a restaruant I have to check in advance I can eat something, then ask them to take off the onion / peas / swap frittes for potatoes or something!

I think there are 2 elements that need considering here

As a bride and groom you expect a superb level of attention organisation and service. On the flip side of this, generally the choices offered for the menu are minimised. This might be because normally ina resturant , they serve people gradually, whereas at a wedding they serve everyone at once. The latter comment means you need more staff, and all the meals prepared synchronously

To be really fair though, if you went to a good resturant, and had a good meal with wine for 2, generally you dont get much change from £100 nowadays. While a lot of venues serve excellent food in thier eateries, they serve much better food for weddings, and that is both the food and service I am talking about

The next thing to consider is that a meal for 2 out is usually a 1-2 hour experience, a wedding is usually a half day plus experience. If the venue is not taking other diners, then they need to commercially look at things in terms of "what is a day normally worth" that is going to be reflected in the prices

I say do what you want and the people who matter will understand and be happy for you and enjoy the day regardless of what you have spent on them. We got married in Venice and went for Pizza after the ceremony and everyone had a great time! It is your wedding and not the MIL's.

Sounds like bliss to me

Me too... stuffed crust meatfeast please

I wonder if you could have an early morning, midweek wedding and go to Pizza Hut for their £6.95 all you can eat buffet...?

AJ - That is likely to be most of our guests wedding day lunch!! ?

It depends what food you talking about - The cost of a meal is always a reflection of the cost of the ingredients plus a mark up for profit and an element of wages / recoperation of the materials cost of kitchen equitement etc to the business.

I mean if I were to cook a steak for me & OH at home the meat would cost me around £5 to £7 depends where we shopped each and then the stilton for the sauce another few pounds each, plus side orders etc - I know that buying in bulk may get them cheaper, but not that much cheaper. If I am paying £10 I expect the meat has only cost £2-£3 and I struggle to comprehend how it will be the same quality for half the price.. In my experience it isn't the same at all. Perhaps I just love my steaks too much!! ?

*coughs*

Can i come to your wedding Tinkerbelly1983.....Sausage & Mash is my favourite meal EVER!!! xxxx

I don't think people will moan about it. It is your wedding and everyone who goes to a wedding wants to enjoy themselves.

Put yourself in the guests shoes, if you were going to your wedding, what would you think? I reckon you'd feel honoured to have been invited (as it is small, shows the people you have asked that you want them there)!

I think you should ignore MIL and get on with things your own way ?