Is this weird?

I don't think that's an issue, I would do it It's your day and your dress and your choice

I'm past caring about all these blooming traditions. I reckon OH has a fair idea what my dress will look like, I have got a vintage hairclip to wear but that is to be the extent of my something old, blue etc etc and I am spending the night before the wedding with OH. Dress shopping is a slow process if, like me, you don't instantly know it's 'the one' and start weeping uncontrollably in the bridal shop. It takes a while to sift out what shapes, fabrics, design features you really want/don't want. Yeah definitely whittle them down a bit with OH then go and choose one properly with your old friends and family

I have thought about this recently, we recently moved so my MOH lives ages away and my mum lives in a different country. I decided in the end that I would rather it be a complete surprise for H2B. But as you wont be getting 'the' dress with him then I don't see it as being an issue

Have fun x

I don't think it's strange either - I did talk about dresses with my H2B although I've ended up with something very different from the ones I was showing him in bridal magazines. I wouldn't mind if he saw my dress before the wedding but he wants it to be a complete surprise - he was upset when I let slip it was ivory... So if you want him there, go for it.

I wouldn't as It would take away pretty much all the magic...

the first time OH sees me in my dress I want to look my best with hair/make up, the dress fitting correctly and everything

I dont understand why people always need someone with them?

can you not tell what YOU like without other peoples opinions? ?

I get being best friends with your OH but if your is anything like mine he will be bored sh*tless anyway (and lets face it average men know nothing about dresses - mine couldn't tell a wedding dress from a white nightgown half the time lol)

discussing ideas is a little different that actually taking them imho

I personally would not do this. For me it wasn't just about THE dress, it was the first time he'd seen me dressed as a bride at all. Whether it's THE dress or not, he'll still get that "wow" moment when you walk out the fitting room. I would not have lost that moment for anything.

If that doesn't bother you so much then think about this: what if you do find THE dress? How will you feel then? I only went to one shop and tried on 7 dresses in total, that was never in my plan, I wanted to milk the search for a good few saturday's out!

If neither of these scenarios bother you then go with it.

What does H2B think? Does he want it to be a surprise?

I personally wouldn't do it as I don't want him to see if before the big day.

You say you're not looking for "the dress" while you're with him but you may end up finding it whether you mean to or not. Would you be ok with that?

This is what I was going to say. The way you say 'obviously' he won't see you in THE dress sounds to me like you still want the big reveal. But if you try on a dress and decide it's the one you want, what then?

I personally would do it either...

when i first started trying on dresses I took loads of pics and sent a few to my OH!

he replied saying 'omg you look gorgeous, gave me goosebumps' not a bad thing at all but part of me feels I've lost that moment because he has now seen me dressed as a bride.

Additionally when I first picked a dress I couldn't keep it a secret and ended up showing him pics of me in that too! Thankfully that dress feel through and I had to get another one! I love it so much and decided not to tell him a thing about it! All he knows is that I'm not wearing the original dress.

go on your own or bring one of your new friends it doesn't matter if they are too nice, your just trying to get a feel for different styles of dress!

I suspect you may find that bridal shop assistants can be, um, cuttingly honest as well! With me, they weren't shy of saying when a dress looked rubbish on a short arse, when my pear-shaped bottom turned ginormous, when my boobs were out of shape.

I wouldn't have dreamed of taking my Boy on dress shopping trips! It's about having a magical secret that you're so desperate to tell, it's like being a child on Christmas Eve. And the look on his face, I wouldn't have taken that away from him (or from me, to be honest).

I dont think its weird. If thats what you want to do, you do it ? xx

everyone should feel special in there dress and not feel like they're being put down but sometimes someone (like a shop assistant) really needs to tell them lol

I used to work as a wedding photographer and we had several girls who copied celebrity wedding dresses

the best was the cheaply made copy of the 'Carmela sutra' dress from the November rain video... poor lass, ignoring the bad quality of the dress no one told her a little 4'8", size 14-16, fizzy ginger haired lady would not suddenly look like a Victoria secret model just because she bought the same style dress... the proportions looked all wrong with her petite hight and every time she moved it blew up reveling here very large not so pretty beige-y cream underpants - someone really should of told her in advance, I hope my bridesmaids (or anyone) will tell me in advance if I make the same mistake

I don't think it's weird at all. My HTB is my best friend and is helping with all the planning including my dress, the flowers, everything.

I have my dress now, he has seen me in it plenty of times.

In the end he did not go with me to the bridal shop ( only went to one, enough to know traditional dresses weren't for me). Not because I didn't want him to see me, or help me, or help me pick, I did,but because I think he would have felt uncomfortable in such a girly place ( I know I did).

I am not having anyone "give me away" either. I'm a grown woman, I give myself away...and we walk down the aisle together, symbolizing our decision to formalize our relationship in front of the law and our family and friends.

In my wedding - I want to embrace new traditions - basically ones I make up to suit me

What has her hair colour got to do with it?

Hair color itself doesn't as ginger can look beautiful (especially with white) but it was more the style (or lack of it) - carrot top and frizzy... i think untamed is the only way to describe it, certainly not like the women she so proudly kept telling everyone she though she looked like

It's not for me and I like the whole secret thing that OH hasn't seen me in any wedding dress before etc, but some people genuinely aren't bothered about it so if you don't mind the surprise factor at all then it's not weird to take him.
Just isn't for me but you shouldn't stick with something just because it's tradition, you do what you want

Thanks everyone for your imput

Think I might take my daughter she will be nearly 15 when I go dress shopping and I think she will be honest, she may get blown away by excitment of it at first but I dont think she would let me where something too awful (I hope) haha

I do want H2B to have the surprise factor I am not sure he will be very soppy about it, but I didnt think about the fact that seeing me in any wedding dress will take that impact away.

Thanks again

Allease

I'm sure your daughter will love it and you'll both have a great time And I bet she'll make sure you only buy the best dress possible haha she'll be very proud.

Let us know how you get on

I didn't realise you were my wedding photographer!!!!

Note to self - use the straighteners on the ginger frizz on the morning of the wedding!

Hi

I wanted to take my H2B because my mum and friends have very strong opinions on what I should wear and I don't want to get bullied in to buying something just to shut them up, however he is quite traditional and insists this isn't the done thing! So I might be pootling off for a look see on my bill when the time comes.

In answer to your question if he's up for it I think its a brilliant idea!

I just wanted to support the shop assistants stuff - if you get a good shop the shop assistants are brilliant - I trusted them a lot, they told me when something didn't suit me, when something just didn't look right and picked out things they thought really would suit me. Shopping on your own is just as good. But sounds like your daughter is a good idea too.

I wouldn't do it myself. Firstly because it would be torture for the poor bloke. Secondly because I think about 90% of the "wow" moment you get as you come down the aisle is because you look like a bride, which he's never seen before. Most men wouldn't notice if your dress was cream or diamond white, A-line or fishtail, lace or satin, it's simply you in a beautiful dress with very significant connotations. I know when I took my mum dress shopping she started weeping the first time I came out of the cubicle, even though the dress was nowhere near "the one," simply because of the emotional significance of the moment (little girl "all grown up"). If he's seen you in wedding dresses before, even if it's not THE dress, it won't be as much of a surprise on the day.

Thirdly you have no idea whether you'll find the one on your first shopping trip or not, which would scupper your plans for him not to see you in it!

Agree with all this!

I don't think it's weird, more unusual.

Taking your daughter would be a lovely thing to do and make her feel really special. That'd be lovely.

Exactly what Helenia said.

Plus, to be honest, do you really need your H2B's opinion? Can't you make up your own mind? Can't you go dress shopping on your own? I did this a few times and it was great. Infact it was better as I didn't have all my friends conflicting opinions!

You'll know it's the right dress regardless of who's with you. Just try on lots of styles first to get a good idea of what suits you. Plus your OH will think you look beautiful whatever you wear.

lol I doubt it, this was 10 years ago ? I dont working in wedding photography anymore - it was far too stressful

ah no, my previous wedding was 15 years ago. I'm still walking down the aisle to November Rain though but I was talked out of the dress because, as you rightly pointed out, at 4ft 10 and curvy it really wasn't doing me any favours.

It wouldn't bother me TBH, but I think taking your daughter would be nice.

I went with my mum and I phoned H to see if he would "mind" if I didn't wear white. We had brilliant fun convincing him it was bright yellow/neon green. If I didn't have my mum then I would have probably taken H. He wouldn't see you all done up before the wedding though, just with your dress, so I don't think it's weird.

The "November Rain" dress looks veeeeery similar to the one on DTTB the other night-

Nice, im walking down to journey (although they suddenly became popular again lol)

im 5'8" and a size 8-10 and I can really can't pull off that dress, im going for a similar-ish style hopefully but that is made more flatteringly for my figure (less poof-y and more sleeves etc...) I think my dress is a cross between the meatloaf dress, the whitesnake dress and the guns and roses dress (and i still wont look half as good as those girl lol)

im sure you'll find a dress that looks great ?

Mine isn't like yours. I assume the OP's isn't either.

My husband is very good with clothes/knowing what looks good, he's far better than me. He's also my best friend, and I tell him everything, keeping my wedding dress a secret just felt unnatural to me. Plus I just don't get the obsession with the dress being a secret, I saw H in his wedding suit before the day and it didn't make the moment I saw him at the end of the aisle any less special for me. People will tell you it's weird, but just do what's right for you.

Yup my lovely man would come shopping with me, and would help me pick, we are each others best friend. I don't really follow tradition or superstition, I did all that with my first marriage and it didn't help that anyway, I think I will take my dd with me unless I am really struggling and I will ask H2B to come too