It's all going wrong

Aww you poor thing sending u weirdy Internet hugs. It will all be ok. What can we help with ........ Maybe we could try and find your shoes - what size are you and where are you in the world? Xx

Its all going to work out fine!Dont panic.

Your dress WILL arrive and you WILL fins some shoes.

Could you ask your mum or sister to get the material for you?

It will allbe OK in the end!!

Where are you getting married, maybe someone can recommend a hairdresser?

More details needed on shoes pls, exact colour, size and style specifics so we can have a google for you!

I think this would be the thing I would be most focussed on sorting out as it's the one thing that is actually mandatory for the wedding (without trivialising the other bits, don't mean it to sound like that but you can have all the dresses in the world but if you're not sorted with thee registrar where are you going to wear them!)

Could your OH cancel a day of any upcoming holidays not taken yet to make an appointment to go? Maybe you could contact the registrar and find out when some good times/dates would be, take them to OH's employer and say we need to do this, he's happy to make up the time etc and pick a time that's least interfering for work.

It's a toughie but of course it'll all get sorted out and everything will be wonderful in the end ?

HUGS xxxxxxxx

You guys are great, thank you ?

I'm in Tunbridge Well, West Kent, Shoe size 4, any sort of baby/pale/light blue peep toe shoes, not slingback and no higher than 3-3.5 inch heels

My sister would get the material but she's got a newborn to look after so it's a bit tricky, I might comandeer my Mum though, that's a good idea but I'd need to go with her to pick colours and I'm so short of time at the moment

We really can't find a way round the registrar thing at the moment, OH has all his remaining holiday reserved for the honeymoon and it seems daft to take a whole day for a 1 hour appointment.

I'm hoping we can get to Leeds late but he needs to check with his Mum as she has an itinerary for the Leeds trip!

When are you getting married?

Could OH say he has Doctors or dentist appt? Bit lame but trying to think of different things? ?

Things will be okay and it will all work out fine but I really sympathise with you - I had a few weeks of anxiety attacks in the night worrying about everything. Why do we do this to ourselves!!?

Let's look at it all logically. Firstly the dress...you're getting married end of August aren't you? Are you worrying cos they said it had been dispatched or for another reason? I'm sure it's on its way - sometimes delivery can take longer. Why don't you contact the seller to put your mind at rest and make sure if definitely did go out on Monday?

Can't believe your hairdresser trials! Have you tried popping in to some local salons? I'm sure someone must be able to help you! Or ring around some perhaps? (sorry if you've done both of these!). How much did that woman want for travelling expenses? I'm planning on going into the salon to save money that way on my day!

The work one is a toughie. He's going to have to speak to his bosses and explain unfortunately. Can he take a day of unpaid leave?

Instead of going material shopping for the flower girls would it be at all possible to buy dresses online? How many are you having? Otherwise you're going to have to re-prioritise some other stuff and get out shopping I'm afraid!

You sound like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself so try and just take each issue one at a time to relieve the pressure. You'll be absolutely fine and on the day you won't remember any of this...or you will but it will all seem worth it!

If it makes you feel any better I'm getting married in July and only started planning the whole thing 3 months before!!!

OK, deep breath. Panicking is the last thing you want to do right now.

1. Can your OH not negotiate flexible hours for one day? i.e. start early, skip lunch, stay late etc? Or pull a little fib - dentist's appointment? Naughty, but worth it IMHO if his employer is being a g*t.

2. shoes - have you tried the Shoe Tailor? on-line, specialising in comfortable shoes rather than heels/wedding etc. Or Viva la Diva. I've had shoes from both - good service from both.

3. I'm local, I can offer you a few hours, or arrange to pick something up for you as my work takes me to Tunny Wells regularly. Will keep an eye out for shoes at Bluewater this weekend for you :-)

You have C&H in town, or try / for fabrics online.

Let me know if I can help - there may be other Kent brides out there willing to help too if you give us a shout.

Again, thank you all for your replies

The wedding is 28th August, unfortunately it's a Sunday so most hair salons are out

OH is already leaving early 2 days a week as he is doing an evening course in London and his employer was NOT happy about letting him take his lunch at the end of the day. I said to him he''d have to pretend to have a docs appointment but he's reluctant to do it becasue of his bosses attitude.

The problem with the fabric is that it needs to be the same sort as my sisters dresas which we already have but in different colours so I really need to have her dress with me to compare.

Judeclarke, thank you, if you could have a look around while at Bluewater that would be great.

I'll check out shoe tailor, hadn't tried them, Viva la Diva didn''t have anything, pale blue shoes seem to be like rocking horse poo!

I dont know if it will help at all, but you actually dont have to go and give your notice or marriage at the same time, you can go separately.

With regards to the shoes, have you thought about buying satin ivory wedding shoes and dying them? I bought rainbow wedding shoes and had them dyed blue

x

Hi Belida, it doesn't really help the situation with OH going seperately as he still has to find the time uinfortunately

I did look at Rainbow club shioes but the peep toes that I liked were all 4.5 inch heels which is just too high!

I'm going into Maidstone tomorrow - I'll keep an eye out for suitable shoes.

I get a lot of my fabric from this online place

/

who are very efficient and have a decent range of dress and bridal fabrics.

How much are you looking to spend on your shoes? i.e. whats your max price?

Thanks Amnesia, I'll check out that site, I'm not sure what you call the fabric that my sister's dress is made of, it's a BHS one but they just list itt as polyester but it's more of a dull heavyweight satin I would say. Is anyone up on fabric terminology?

Tray, Not really more than about £75 I'd say (preferably less)

Http://www.bootedandsuited.co.uk/products/007_008_bl.htm

http://www.milanoo.com/Blue-3-1-2%5C%5C-High-Heel-Peep-Toe-PU-Fashion-Shoes-p49086.html?Promotion=ukggbase

And there are loads and loads on ebay!

I'm not keen on wedges but the milanoo ones are quite nice, thanks! I'll check out ebay again too

I have now secured a hairdresser (I think) bloody expensive though *grumble grumble* ?

Aww. I have been where you are. Sometimes the "to do" list is endless. If I have a day like this I write myself a little task lisk and tick off as it gets done (separate from the massive wedding task list I hasten to add).

1) You have plenty of time to receive your dress and have alterations if needed. I am having my wedding dress embellished and altered and my seamstress didn't want to see me until 1 month before the wedding... I wouldn't allow this so am seeing her 2 months before (even this gives me palpitations).

2) If you want a specific colour of shoe at a specific height, you could buy dyeable satin shoes and have them dyed to a swatch. I did this (my shoes have a 2 inch heel). The brands you can get are Shades, Rainbow Club and Pink by Paradox. I ordered mine from Perdita's shoes (online), they will dye them to my swatch and send them to me.

3) Could you get the fabric online? I buy fabrics from ebay all the time!

4) Then OH needs to speak to employer as they are being unreasonable- he has to go there is no way around it. But yes, I know how inconvenient the office hours are for giving notice... why do you have to travel so far to give notice, I thought you had to do it in your home borough?

It will all work out, you are just having a bad day. I have had plenty and will have more to come I am sure ? ?

Heres some shoes i found

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/New-Look-Blue-Two-Tone-Peep-Toe-Shoes-Size-4-/230618952847?pt=UK_Women_s_Shoes&hash=item35b1f5f48f#ht_506wt_1139

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Patent-Plain-Peep-toe-High-heel-shoes-Lots-colours-/120623493124?pt=UK_Women_s_Shoes&var=&hash=item61ca99bd83#ht_1718wt_905

i found a quite a few after search on net, or get ones you can dye maybe?

Why are you going to Leeds to give notice? You have to give notice in the area you both live, which I imagine is somewhere in Kent? You give notice there, wherever in the country you get married. (Eg we gave notice in Northamptonshire because that's where we live, but the venue was in Warwickshire so the Warks registrars married us).

My daughter is getting her shoes from here and it appears they have a dying service.

http://www.perditasweddingshoes.co.uk/category.asp?code=3&CatName=HIGH+Heels+Wedding+Shoes++++White+%26+Ivory+Heels+3+to+5+inches+++++++++

Sorry, I wasn't clear,we aren't giving notice in Leeds we're just going to visit OHs extended family as I've not met any of them. Since we've booked holiday fromwork to go to Leeds i thought we could go give notice in our home town in the morning but they can't fit us in until 11 which means we won't get to Leeds until 5 or 6pm which is a bit late.

Clarelou, thanks for those links, the new look shoes are ok but it's hard to tell the colour in the picture, I guess for £3 they might be worth a punt!

I'll have another look at Perditas too, thanks ?

There used to be a good wedding material shop in Leeds market as I got my BM material there

So could your OH not ask for an early lunch break to go give notice?

I would say if it is so difficult to get OHs employer to be flexible on another day then unfortunately I would just give notice on this morning that you already both have off and explain to family that you will not be arriving to Leeds until 5/6pm. Annoying when you have to change plans (especially if his Mum has a whole itinerary sorted out) but at the end of the day you can't get married unless you give notice, I am sure his family would understand your delay in arriving.

Is your home town a registration district in itself or is that office part of a much bigger district say like Kent? If its the latter could you maybe try another office just a little further from your home town in the hope of them having an earlier free appointment.

WSS!

Yes, I think that's what we will have to do, I'm trying to get him to confirm with his Mother that it won't be a huge problem ?

I had some success yesterday, we gfound material for the flower girls dresses so my sister is going to crack on with them, I also found some dye that I might be able to use to mmake blue shoes, I'm going to try and fiond a cheapy pair on ebay to test whether it will work but another hitcher posted about shoes and the company had light blue ones so I'm now trying to track them down.

My dress still hasn't arrived though, I send the company a shirty email on Sunday as they still hadn't sent me the tracking number, Monday morning I had a number but it's been still showing that it hasn't been picked up or delivered to DHL yet ?

You poor thing - I am sending you one enormous hug from SE London/Kent borders.

I don't know what happened with your hairdresser but the one I'm using does travel down to Kent with a make up artist but there is also another one from Croydon who was recommended by a friend at work who also travels. Let me know if you want the details.

As for shoes, try looking at ballroom dance shoes - they are often ones you can dye but they also come in a range of heel heights and styles. I've got some very soft/pale silver dance shoes which have a 2.5 inch heel. As long as you're not outside for much they will be great - they have a suede sole so can't withstand rough pavements.

Where is your dress coming from? Any way you (or a helpful hitcher) could pop round to hassle them in person?

Good luck - things will get better eventually, just hang in there for a few more days xx

Not sure if these are the kind of shoes you are after, but not too high and £55...

https://www.kurtgeiger.com:443/online-shop/197334-miss-kg-hepburn

Ok... have you tried paradox? pink do some really cute ones, and they do a range of 20 colours they let you dye for free, pretty sure they do a pale blue, and crush are simply beautiful!!

want me to triple check in the morning and confirm that ?and they would come under budget

ohhh and i know a great mobile hair dresser.. shall dig her details out for you as well...

Ooh, Gabs, those are a lovelyc colour! Not sure about the heel though, I'll check them out in person I think, thank you so much for posting them

OH spoke to his Mum last night and it looks like we will be able to go and give notice before going to Leeds so my only problem left now is my wedding dress! I got sent a tracking number on Monday but it's still not showing as having been collected by UPS.

Thanks Kittykat and Dovercb, the dress is coming from America so no chance of chasing in person unfortunately

I have a hairdresser now, she's confirmed so everything is a lot rosier this week!