Jewellery - help! (with *flash*)

Maybe you could get yellow gold earrings with little diamonds on so they are still gold but not too gold?

Hi,

I am the same as you in that I am not a yellow gold type of person so I would really sruggle with this too. Just did a quick search and these are expensive but is this the sort of thing you mean?

http://www.letsbuyit.co.uk/product/29769440/earrings/9ct-white-yellow-gold-drop-earrings

Hi, I really dont know if I could wear something I wasnt 100% happy with, I know it will save arguments in the long run. Could you not wear a set in white gold / silver that you want for walking down aisle etc and wear the one your mum wants for a couple of the photographs so then she can have a picture of you in it but still wear what you want on the day. Otherwise I think something similar to the one you have flashed not to sure about mixing the gold and white gold though. x

Could you wear the necklace but in some other way e.g. wrapped around the handle of your bouquet or something?

There's no way I'd wear something I didnt want to on my wedding day it would niggle at me forever when looking back at the pics!

What hair accessory are you wearing because that will also be affected by wearing gold jewellery maybe? I wouldn't have compromised on my jewellery for anyone so I can't really help there but I wouldn't worry about matching your bm jewellery at all.

Hi, thanks all for your input. I really don't want to compromise on this necklace but I don't know how to avoid it - it's such a big thing to my mum. Our only other thought is that OH rings her and explains he wants to buy me a necklace and earring set as a wedding gift and he knows she wants me to wear the garnet but would it be ok if I wore the set as it is really important to him etc etc...she will never listen if it comes from me. Trust me, she has been difficult enough in many, many ways and I don't really want to go into it all...the only sad thing is that I do resent her a bit for this, and that's always going to be there.

Anyway...! I think what I might do is just not match it. In answer to your qu Lynsey, my tiara too is silver with diamantes and pearls, so there is really no way it matches at all ☹️. I'd completely forgotten that point actually! And I'd rather match my tiara with the earrings - think that would look better. The necklace will then look out of place, but maybe that's best - then it will clearly be a "family heirloom" thing rather than something I've chosen myself. Do you think that's best?

xx

Oh it's such a toughie because you've obviously had family issues (I say that with sympathy and a huge degree of ahhhhhhhh at the feelings wedding planning can bring) and it's really nice you don't want to hurt your mums feelings.

Do you have a picture of the tiara and necklace? Would she listen to you if you offered an alternative. So say you find a necklace that matches your tiara would that influence her in any way to realise matching jewellery for this one day is more important to you?

Failing that getting your h2b to call her sounds a fab idea. Even better if he (well you) buys jewellery and says that he's gutted to realise your jewellery was sorted and how would she feel blah blah blah.

If it was me I'd be choosing stud earrings so no more gold could be seen. x

Could you take the pendant off the chain and somehow attach it to your dress or bouquet as previously mentioned? I had my grans wedding ring in the loops of my corset as my something old.

Yes I'd thought about taking it off and including it somewhere else, like as part of the bouquet etc, but in honesty I think what she wants is to have pictures of all her three daughters wearing the necklace on their wedding day and for all of us to have worn it while we were getting married, i.e. walking up the aisle etc, in the same way (i.e. round the neck and prominently).

The irritation is it went fine with what my other sisters wore on their days - sister 1 had dark red as the bridesmaid dress colours so it matched to them, and sister 2 had gold detailing on her dress so that matched too. It just doesn't match anything for me, even the dress!

The tiara is by Warren York, trying to find a picture but can't (and can't get it out as OH is sat next to me!) It's a bit like this one but with more pearls and sparklies generally (and it's very silver - no hint of gold):

Would either of these be a compromise?

a) wear your gran's necklace etc for the ceremony and then change it to what you want afterwards for the majority of the photos and for the wedding breakfast / reception etc. That way, you are wearing your gran's necklace for the marriage bit but you'll still be able to wear what you want for the rest of the time and photos.

b) wear your jewellery for day and majority of photos then wear your gran's jewellery for wedding breakfast and rest of the day and make sure you ask your tog to get a few special photos wearing your gran's jewellery (i.e bride and groom, with your parents etc).

I would get your husband to get one of his best men or a BM/friend deliver some jewellery (that you have chosen) to you on the morning of your wedding as a gift. That way your mum really cant contest you wearing something your husband to be has specially bought for you and I hope wouldnt make a fuss on the morning of the wedding.

Act surprised and caught in a dilemma then suggest the solution of getting some pics with your gran's necklace on and brief your bridesmaids to agree thats a wonderful idea!

Pollyjean, that's a fab idea ? I've just been looking at sets as well (OH wants to buy me a wedding gift bless him) and found this:

which is so much more me...though I guarantee you she would definitely make a fuss on the day of the wedding, she has no scruples about that kind of thing ☹️. But at the very least, I could wear the earrings from the start and change the necklace later on, like lisaloulou suggests. And get some photos with each.

Thank you all lots xx

Glad you got it sorted ?

I prefer the idea of your OH tellingyour mum that he already bought you an expensive set to wear, which is very personal to the two of you, before he realised that you would be wearing your grandmothers. Then maybe he can make an agreement with your mum that you can switch between the 2. I would worry a bit that if your OH springs it on her at the last minute then that could make him look bad. Good luck with it!