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AutumnRose
Beginner

Just had a phone call from venue - so upset

AutumnRose, 5 July, 2010 at 19:57

Posted on Planning 62

So with just under 2 weeks to go i've just had a really upsetting phone call from our venue. We are having ceremony and reception at a gorgeous country hotel. We are using a small room for ceremony, their orangery restaurant for meal and then what they call the pavilion - which is a converted barn -...

So with just under 2 weeks to go i've just had a really upsetting phone call from our venue.

We are having ceremony and reception at a gorgeous country hotel. We are using a small room for ceremony, their orangery restaurant for meal and then what they call the pavilion - which is a converted barn - for the evening section. Outside the restaurant there is a gorgeous garden area with a swimming pool, lawn and gorgeous flowers. If you picture it the resturant with huge floor to ceiling windows and terrace just outside sits on the top side of swimming pool (ie short side). The terrace continues at a right angle and goes down the long side of pool (with lawn in between) and outside the pavilion. The pavillion has its own bar and dance floor etc etc. After dinner we are having drinks and a jazz quartet on terrace outside restaurant and in evening a BBQ. Still with me?! We've got big garden candles to go around the swimming pool and loads of lanterns etc to generally contribute to a lovely evening atmosphere....

The driveway to hotel is about 1/2 mile long and at the other end there is a new barn they are converting, it's hidden away up a bank and totally separate to where we are. They told us all along there might be another function in there in the evening, maybe even a wedding reception but as its so far away from the hotel we werent concerned at all. The assured us that because of the way we were using the rooms there would be no other wedding in the main bit of the hotel - something i felt really strongly about as it's not a big hotel at all and i did not want to be bumping into another bride or having strangers wandering about in our reception.

So phone call tonight - venue saying the other building wouldnt be finished and they had an evening reception booked there for our wedding date (nice of them to tell us!). Would it be ok if we didnt use our evening room (beautiful converted barn with fairy lights on beams and a big stage etc) and stayed in the restaurant (way smaller, barely room for our band, dancing and 1 or 2 tables - we have 100 in evening). Not only that but we'd be literally 10metres away from the other wedding and both sets of guests would be out on the lawn/swimming pool area (with all my lovely decorations)......i said no.

They accepted that but are basically trying to work out how to fit in both weddings......the other might end up in resturant which would be as bad as the above option. We'd all be mixed together and their music would mix with ours - all our guests would mix. They'd be wandering about through our BBQ.

I'm totally devastated as its just not what i've been planning for 18months. Also feel like a dreadful person as i realise the other people are in a worse boat and cant imagine how awful that'd be but i feel like i have to be a bit selfish here. I only get on wedding!!!!Plus we are paying really quite a lot of money for this place - i'm not paying it to share my day with someone else.

My mum is on case and phoning them back as i didnt feel i could explain how i felt properly without getting really upset - mum is calling them now. I just dont see how it can possibly work out without it being completely different and completely ruined.

I also cant believe they've only realise it wouldnt be finished 1 week and 5 days before the wedding?!?!?!? Ridiculous - and it turns out their wedding co-ordinator is away for a week which is really ehlpful and the poor girl on phone seemed totally overwhelmed.

I'm sorry for essay i'm just so upset - i also feel dreadful for other people which makes me feel worse. Its going to be completely different and ruined Smiley sad Smiley sad

62 replies

  • AutumnRose
    Beginner
    AutumnRose ·
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    Thanks for all your replies. Peter i will email you.

    Anything that they have in the main hotel will totally alter our day - i really hope they can come up with a solution but there is no where i can imagine they can get a marquee so we'll see. They other wedding is not having the ceremony at the venue - just the reception so at least our daytime will be the same. It's the intrusion in to evening that's the problem - even if they use the restaurant after we have moved to the evening they will be completely involved in our drinks area/directly beside our jazz music etc.....

    Will see how it pans out tomorrow - i'm not expecting a good nights sleep.

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  • Beckyv83
    Beginner September 2010
    Beckyv83 ·
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    I wont repeat all that the others have said, just wanted to say tho i am thinking of you. What a crappy situation. Be strong and give them hell.

    I hope it all works out in the morning.

    ((hugs))

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  • debmci
    debmci ·
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    You need to stick to your guns with them and let them know that you wont be taking any nonsence from them. I do feel sorry for the poor bride tho involved and I hope that she is sticking to her guns as well, and demands the Venue arrange something else for her! Mind you you might not really come across them too much. My friend had a call from her venue (which is mine also) that they were having another small wedding that day, and the tea coffee rceptions didnt clash, and neither did anything else! she did panic a lot before it tho!

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  • 3d jewellery
    3d jewellery ·
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    Nothing to add except stick to your guns.

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  • MissBee
    Beginner
    MissBee ·
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    Can't really add, everyone has said some good points. Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and hope it gets resolved quickly and without you having to compromise on your day...which sounds amazing by the way! Fingers crossed Smiley smile

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  • ashlil
    Beginner February 2011
    ashlil ·
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    Can't add anything but hope it all works out for you. Venue should sort THEIR mess out and check the contract and stick to your guns.

    They should make sure you are ok as you are there the whole day and they should come up with an acceptable alternative for the evening do.

    Marquee does sound like a good option.

    Fingers crossed.. hope you and mum sort it out. and get some compo too

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  • agentblackcat
    Beginner July 2011
    agentblackcat ·
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    Just seen your post autumnrose - how awful after your lovely day yeseterday. I really hope your venue fixes their mistake and you get some better news today xx

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  • Josiep00
    Beginner December 2010
    Josiep00 ·
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    Sorry - another late post. Just read this and I feel simply awful for you. I can't believe they left it this late to ask you!

    Well done for saying No, I'm sure now you have said no they will have to sort something else out completely - where it does not affect your wedding. They were just trying their luck "Uhoh we made a booboo - let's see if we can ruin someone elses day to cover this up".

    Don't feel guilty for another couple, know it sounds mean, but this is your wedding day for gawd's sake. Deffo agree with Sticking to your guns.

    Like someone's Gazebo idea they mentioned earlier.

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  • lamby
    Beginner August 2010
    lamby ·
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    I have just read this open mouthed with shock. I can't believe what they are trying to do. Everyone's posts have been really constructive with excellent advice - and looks like your Mum is already getting them sorted. Just wanted to send hugs, and as hard as it is, try not to let it spoil any more of your build up. It will get sorted and your day will be amazing and beautiful xxx

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  • Naboo
    Beginner
    Naboo ·
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    Im completely shocked, I think the guys have given some great advice and you should definately stick to your guns on this, its their mistake and they need to solve it, it is not your problem and you need to have the wedding you have planned and paid for! I hope you get it sorted without too much more stress, keep us posted x

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  • B
    Bev Downie ·
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    I know your venue well and there is no way two evening receptions would work well as the restaurant/bar area is where guests can relax away from the music etc. They are at fault for booking a second reception in a venue which was never going to be finished. I don't even think they should have involved you in this. They should have held their hands up to the other couple and sorted something out with them that didn't affect you. They knew they were taking a risk booking an unfinished venue.

    It is a shame that you have had this upset so close to your wedding and I firmly believe that as well as reinstating everything you have booked they should be giving you extra compensation for messing you about.

    I hope it gets sorted for you and you manage to have an amazing day x

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  • Rizzo
    Beginner July 2011
    Rizzo ·
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    Sorry to hear what's happened AR, it's a lot of stress you don't need so close to your wedding - I hope everything works out.

    Don't worry about the other wedding, it's the venue's fault that they will have to change their plans not yours.

    Keep us updated with what's happening.

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  • Mrs C
    Beginner March 2011
    Mrs C ·
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    Oh hunni, how awful.

    The other girls have also given some valid points, I would make sure that you stick to your guns, you have paid for this venue so you should have it. This is not being selfish, just getting what you have rightfully paid for.

    I would never have booked an unfinished venue myself, not at least without a backup plan agreed that didn't involve hijacking someone else's wedding, I would feel awful if I was the other bride and it wouldn't even be an option for me. I would go with the marquee option.

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  • millymolly83
    Beginner August 2010
    millymolly83 ·
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    Oh my goodness just read this.

    I don't think you are over-reacting at all! I would be the same, in fact worst!

    Have you got anything sorted?

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  • M
    Beginner July 2010
    mrslowndes2b ·
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    Just read date twin!!

    OMG!!! I hope something has been sorted!!

    xx

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  • charliebird7
    Beginner March 2012
    charliebird7 ·
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    Omg! I'm so sorry to hear this. I really hope something has been sorted by ow or is in the process of being sorted. x

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  • AutumnRose
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    AutumnRose ·
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    Thank you all so much for your support - i really appreciate it!!!!

    It's still up in the air - i'm positive that we wont change our plans but i'm just worried about what they are going to do which will impact the evening. Seriously stressed when i should just be enjoying the last bits of build up.

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  • D
    Beginner October 2010
    drifter ·
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    I know its hard but try not to let this cloud everything. Is your mum still in talks with them? If so get her to extract a promise from them that they will contact you by tomorrow with full information on what is happening. Make sure that they know regaurdless of any decsions they or you make, they have put you under unacceptable stress and you would like some gesture of acknowledgment of this.

    Finally have more wine and chocolate and do something nice for your self.

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  • Juicymelons
    Beginner May 2010
    Juicymelons ·
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    Oh no this is just terrible, the venue has cocked up and they expect you to compromise your day so save their ass........While I feel very sorry for the other bride, if I had booked a reception in a building that wasn't complete I would have checked the progress myself monthly or weekly if needed, so I could have a plan B if necessary I wouldn't have just taken venue word for it. The venue should be finding a suitable alternative for her, not dumping on you, this is truely awful.

    Is the venue very far away from you, can't you go and see the manager face to face not so easy to weedle out of things then.

    Really hope it works out for you, the last week before the wedding should be fun and relaxed not stressed like this.

    Suze xx

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  • Tony Lewis HIB
    Tony Lewis HIB ·
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    Hey AutumnRose....

    Sorry I've only just clocked this - so people don't think I'm butting in unnessarily, we're the band playing for her. We're also supplying the jazz quartet.

    So, my first thought was, as some others have above: Marquee for the other couple. That's the ONLY way they can get around it. There's no reason why the other couple's day will be ruined - you can have some beautiful marquees. I say more fool them anyway for booking a room that had an uncertain finish date. But the real culprit here is the venue. It's totally on them to sort it out and they shouldn't have even bothered you with it - I'm shocked.

    There's not much chance of us fitting in the restaurant and neither should you have to change your plans.

    If you'd like me to call them to discuss and/or add weight to the argument then please email me or call me - AutumnRose you have my details.

    Don't worry - it will work out.

    Tony

    RS

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  • emmy1979
    Rockstar June 2023 West Yorkshire
    emmy1979 ·
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    Sorry to hear this AR. What a crap way to be spending the final preparations of your wedding. Hurray for your mum! Hope they sort it pronto. The venue should really pay for an alternative venue for the other couple.

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  • Charlied
    Beginner October 2010
    Charlied ·
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    Dont forget, this is truely horrible at the moment, remember that positivity about weather ?(which you cant do bugger all about) - you stick to your guns on this and a solution will appear - big big hugs xx

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  • AutumnRose
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    Thanks guys - Tony i will let you know if there is anything you can do.

    We are waiting until the wedding co-ordinator is back tomorrow morning, nothing will be confirmed until she is there anyway. But we have left them in no way uncertain as to how we feel about any intrusion on our day. I've also sent an email which will be in wedding coordinators inbox when she gets in and also leaves a paper trail of our feelsing on the matter.

    Trouble with the marque option is there is literally no where to put one up - except maybe on the front lawn of the house in front of lake which would totally ruin our photos!! The only way i can see it not effecting us is them finding them a totally alternative venue - and no idea if they even remotely likely to do that!

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  • mrsgreatbatch2b
    Beginner July 2012
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    Hunni, let us know what they say tomorrow.

    You need to be firm, and say it's your fault the over building isn't finished. Obviously if they were building this other place then they are kind of admitting to not having enough room for two weddings in the first place.

    Another way you can go with this is for the reason i've given above, ask to see their health and safety/ fire evac record and procedure. As like I say above if there's not enough room orginally, your've got to ask yourself how many can their main building take.

    Also the toilet situation, ask them if they plan on having a cleaner present or any other bathroom facilties because A there'll get very busy. B who's going to keep them clean and filled with paper, hopefully not the waiters or chefs dealing with food.

    I know we say health and safety has gone mad in this country, well it's time to get mad over you and your guests health and safety.

    Don't step down on this huni! They only havea one track mind, money, money, money.

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  • budgetbabe
    Beginner July 2010
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    View quoted message

    WSS honey, what more can i add? fight fight fight this all the way!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK XXXXXX

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  • aliaisp
    Beginner July 2010
    aliaisp ·
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    Oh no twinnie i have just seen this! been off hitched for a bit. so so sorry you are going through this stress so close to the day. everyone has given you great advice but just wanted to say we're all here for you and i am definitely keeping my fingers and toes crossed! keep us posted, don't worry it WILL work out!!xxx

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  • atlonglast
    Beginner November 2010
    atlonglast ·
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    What an awful situation and so close to your wedding day.

    Like everyone else here says, try and stick to your guns. It sounds to me like they will have to arrange a completly seperate venue to sort this out.

    Best of luck. xx

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  • GemmaLouise1986
    Beginner
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    Oh my gosh, so sorry to hear about this. Fingers crossed you get it sorted.

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  • M
    Beginner October 2010
    mrsmiller2b ·
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    Hope everything gets sorted today once the wedding co-ordinator is back, fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you hun!! x

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  • agentblackcat
    Beginner July 2011
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    Hey autumn rose any update its just so ridiculious that they have just realised their error really keeping my fingers crossed for you hun x

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